Holly's Talking Hands

Papa

2011-09-07T00:10:00.002-04:00

In August my Papa passed away. This is something I wrote shortly after. I hope you enjoy it.

Papa was popcorn...with lots and lots and lots of butter.
Papa was puzzles...jigsaw, wordsearches, crosswords, they didn't cause him to shudder.
Papa was pistachios and nutcrackers,

games and fun.

Papa was.

Papa was stamp collecting...from all over the world.

Papa was scrapbooking...before it was cool.

Papa was late nights at sleepovers and eggs for breakfast.

Papa was

Papa was gardening and flowers...oh, how they bloomed.

Papa was jeopardy and wheel of fortune...he always got the clues.

Papa was zoo trips and picnics,

playdates and field trips.

Papa was.

Papa was quiet and humble...soft spoken he was.

Papa was prayer and faith...an example to all

Papa was serving and loving

joyful and true.

Papa was.

And because of all Papa was

We have become all we are.

Papa's "was" is, in us, Papa's "now".

Change

2011-09-06T23:53:00.002-04:00

The house is really quiet right now. Everyone else is in bed, but I was still up doing homework that's due tomorrow. Oh, the joys of grad school. (Which, by the way, I was accepted into! I know it's been a while since I posted). And as I sit here in the quiet, I have some time to think. A lot has happened over the past few months. Change has happened. Some of it's been really good. Some of it's been really hard. But change has to happen. Change has just seemed to happen more often lately. Maybe it's partly because I'm just getting older, but in the last month or two, it's been happening in abundance. In August, I found out I was accepted into grad school. A week later my Papa was admitted to the hospital. A short four days later he was with Jesus (I'll admit, as much as I miss him, I'm slightly jealous he's hanging out with Jesus right now). Right after that chaos, grad school started. And then yesterday we dropped my baby sister off at college. Yes, change is happening.

Yet, through all the change there is a constant. Through all the chaos there is a peace. God never changes. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. His love never changes. His holiness never changes. So when I'm tired of all the changes happening around me, I look up. I look to Jesus. Because he's not changing. He's holding me as I might be fighting all the changes, but he stays the same. In the chaos that is life, it brings incredible peace to know that God never changes. That he is the one constant I can keep coming back to.

Change is good and necessary and sometimes bittersweet. But what is better is the constant hope and love found in Jesus...it's unchanging, never-ending, always there. That's the best.

Whispers...

2011-06-13T17:12:00.000-04:00

I have to say, I'm a bit overwhelmed. I haven't been on my blog in about a month. I've been moving back home to Michigan and celebrating my sister's graduation from highschool. In the midst of that all, I started looking at applying for Grad school. The program I'm looking at is a MA in Written Communication with an emphasis in Teaching Writing. And this weekend was just one of those weekends when I started questioning myself again.

As I found myself talking about future plans with old friends at grad parties, answering their questions about what I might be doing in the future and that I'm such a great writer, I heard these words come out of my mouth, more than once, in response to their praise: "Yeah, I guess..." Seriously??? I love to write. It's a passion. I love to teach. I've wanted to teach for years. And that's what comes out of my mouth when people tell me I have a gift?

But that was honestly how I was feeling. I was having trouble, once again, thinking that I am gifted in this area. I was having trouble believing that God had a purpose in my writing.

And then, just a few moments ago, I got on here. And I was literally blown away. In fact I almost started crying. You see, blogger has this tool that tells you how many people have read your blog on certain days (even specific hours if it's the current day), how they got to your blog, what country they're from, and a whole bunch of other things. It's pretty cool and if I've posted a lot then I tend to check it a lot. But I hadn't posted in over a month and I hadn't checked my "stats" in over a month. I even have a list going of all the different countries that read my blog. Normally views are way down if I haven't written lately. But today. Today was different. I got on and saw that yesterday, when I was doubting my writing ability, I had 27 page views. Today, I'd had ten already. Last month, when I posted only one or two times, there were over 100 pages views. That may not seem like a lot to some people. But to me it means there are people actually reading this. People who keep coming back to read. When I got on today, three new countries had viewed my blog. I have readers in Iran, Slovenia, Croatia, Australia, the United Arab Emirates, China, Japan, and more. And God blew me away.

It was his gentle voice I heard saying, "Look, people are reading. You have a gift. I have given you that gift. Use it. Hone it. Pursue it. Teach others to use their gifts. Don't believe the lie for a minute that you can't write. I have given you the ability to write. I have given you the ability to create. You are made in my image and I love you. Work hard. Don't give up."

And I needed to hear that whisper.

Power and Love

2011-05-18T21:13:00.000-04:00

I was reading in Acts today and was just struck by how powerful God is and how much he cares for individual people. I think sometimes we just gloss over how powerful he is and we know that he loves the world, but sometimes I think we forget he loves individuals.

His power is enough to take Paul (who was at the time Saul) and change him from a zealous persecuting machine, to a zealous Jesus preaching missionary. His power is enough to raise the woman Tabitha back to life. His power is enough to put Phillip in the exact right place at the right time. His power is awesome.

And his love. Did you notice that in each of those instances it was an individual that God chose to invade? It was one person God chose to speak to on the road to Damascus. It was one person God chose to raise back to life in that instance. It was one person that needed to hear about what Jesus had done and how he had fulfilled prophecy.

His power. His love. There is nothing else like it. It's personal. God loves you. He longs to meet you right where you are. If you're dead, he longs to give you back life. If you are intensely working against him, he longs to turn that passion into working for him. If you have questions, he longs to answer them. God is totally in the miracle working business. And he longs to work those miracles in your life.

Alone and Still

2011-05-17T20:06:00.001-04:00

Alone time. As an introvert I not only crave it at times, I need it to survive. I love being with people. But I love spending time alone. I think we all need it. Even if you aren't an introvert. I just happen to be more in tune to the fact that I need it because I am. But time alone is good. Time to reflect. Time to process. Time to be quiet before God.

It can be really hard to be still in this world. It's really easy to get caught up in our life and everything that needs to be done or that we want to do. But our relationship with God is a two way street. We need to listen and be still and stand in awe of him just as much as we need to talk to him. Think about it. When was the last time you were just enthralled by his beauty? When was the last time you were breathless because of his power? When was the last time you were still?

As much as I like my alone time, I don't always use it well. I get caught up in doing things. Or I waste the time by doing unimportant things. When what I really need to do is just be still and worship. When I really just need is to be still and know.

Psalm 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God!"

Promises

2011-05-15T20:56:00.002-04:00

I've had a pretty sweet weekend. My grandparents came to visit and we went to Shipshewana. It was pretty fun even with all the rain. Also happening this weekend, I'm officially dating someone pretty special. And then today I helped my cousin make cupcakes. It's always an interesting day to help him bake, but it's oh so much fun and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

One of the things I loved about Shipshewana was all the Bible verses that were around. There were all these plaques and decorative wall hangings with sayings (my grandparents' favorite was the multitude of ones that said "Always kiss me goodnight") and many with Bible verses. Perhaps one of my favorites that kept showing up was from Isaiah 43:1.

"Do not be afraid for I have RANSOMED you. I have called you by name; you are mine."

I love it.

He knows my name. He paid for me. He says my name. And I am his. There is such power in that. And so tonight, I read the rest of the chapter. And let me tell you, I have this chapter underlined pretty well, but it never gets old. The promises in this chapter are amazing. Go read it. You won't be sorry. I sure wasn't.

I needed that reminder. I needed the reminder of how deep God's love is for me. Of how he ransomed me. Of how precious he thinks I am. Of how he honors me. Of how I've been chosen. And of how he proclaims all of this to the world.

He doesn't keep his love for us quiet. He proclaims it. With every sunrise, every sunset, every rainbow, every budding flower, every scrap of color shouts his love for us.

I feel like there is just so much in this chapter and not enough room to type it all. So read it. Tell me your favorite part or parts. Share what God is teaching you through this passage.

And maybe I'll get back to it another night, but I want you to hear God's voice as you read this passage. Not mine. What is God teaching you tonight?

P.S. The cupcakes aren't quite finished and my camera battery is almost dead... so you'll just have to use your imagination... but they look good so far!

The Road Through Ephesus... A Call To Holiness Ephesians 2:22

2011-05-10T20:19:00.000-04:00

It's very warm and humid down here today. Which isn't bad until I want to sleep and then I'll be miserable. I don't like it cold and I don't like it sticky and hot. I would like a happy medium please. Well, I decided since I've been putting off writing about the last verse of Ephesians 2 that I should remedy that situation and get back to it. I have just had a hard time coming up with what to write about this verse. Part of me feels that I keep saying a lot of the same things over and over again, but I'm ready to possibly say the same thing again and jump back in.

Here we go:

Ephesians 2:22

"Through him you Gentiles are also being made part of this dwelling where God lives by his Spirit."

I don't know about you, but I think that's pretty exciting. We who were once outcasts, who had no hope of a relationship with God, have become a part of the family of God and he lives in us by his Spirit. How cool is that??? We were so far separated from him, but God made a way to get back to him and now he lives in us.

He chose us. We've discussed that. But he didn't just choose us. He lives in us. He has made us his dwelling place. The one who created the universe chose to live in us. That's pretty amazing.

1 Corinthians 3:17 "For God's temple is holy, and you are that temple."

2 Corinthians 6:16 "For we are the temple of the living God."

I love that first one. Because in it, we aren't only called to be holy, it says we are holy. Because the God who loves you enough to die for you lives in you and gives you his holiness. His holiness covers you. It covers me. It's incredible.

Because if I think about it, there are many times when I don't feel holy. There are many times when I don't choose the holy thing to do. But God still calls me holy, because when he looks at me, he sees his holiness covering me. Because he lives in me.

But even though his holiness covers me, that doesn't mean I can do whatever I want. Because his holiness covers me, it pushes me to choose the right thing. It pushes me to honor him. It pushes me to love and obey him.

It's not always easy. Okay, really, it's never easy. But it's right. His holiness calls us to a higher living.

So this week, I want to strive for that. I want to strive to live holy. Not because I have to, but because his holiness, his love, his Spirit living in me calls me to live a holy life.

Will you join me? Will you let him call you to a holy life?

Knowing my heart

2011-05-09T21:28:00.000-04:00

Coughing sucks. I was told today that I sounded like an asthmatic. And I do, it's kinda sad. Allergies are upon us and even though my new allergy meds are working, I can't take too deep of a breath or I go into a coughing fit. Or I just go into a coughing fit for no apparent reason. It makes me tired.

But these last few days have been good as well. I've had some fun phone conversations and even had some time to just rest which I desperately needed. It was good. There's a reason God tells us to take a sabbath. Our bodies can't handle going without stopping. And my body needed to rest to handle the upcoming week. Especially if I'm going to be coughing like this for any length of time.

I got to spend some time with a friend tonight. And we just talked and relaxed and got to know what was happening in each other's lives. It was good.

It's those times, those relaxing, rejuvenating, kairos times, that allow us to continue living without going insane. And it's in those times that we can be quiet before God and listen to him. We can get to know his heart. And it's a time when he can reveal our hearts too us. Because all too often, I don't know my own heart. And until I spend some time with my Jesus, I won't know. He knows my heart so well. Way better than I could ever hope to know. And I love that.

(And I couldn't pick just a few verses from this chapter... so I put the whole one :-)

Psalm 139

For the choir director: A psalm of David.

¹ O Lord, you have examined my heart
      and know everything about me.
² You know when I sit down or stand up.
      You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
³ You see me when I travel
      and when I rest at home.
      You know everything I do.
⁴ You know what I am going to say
      even before I say it, Lord.
⁵ You go before me and follow me.
      You place your hand of blessing on my head.
⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
      too great for me to understand!

⁷ I can never escape from your Spirit!
      I can never get away from your presence!
⁸ If I go up to heaven, you are there;
      if I go down to the grave, you are there.
⁹ If I ride the wings of the morning,
      if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
¹⁰ even there your hand will guide me,
      and your strength will support me.
¹¹ I could ask the darkness to hide me
      and the light around me to become night—
    ¹² but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.
   To you the night shines as bright as day.
      Darkness and light are the same to you.

¹³ You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
      and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
      Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
¹⁵ You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
      as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
¹⁶ You saw me before I was born.
      Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
   Every moment was laid out
      before a single day had passed.

¹⁷ How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.
      They cannot be numbered!
¹⁸ I can’t even count them;
      they outnumber the grains of sand!
   And when I wake up,
      you are still with me!

¹⁹ O God, if only you would destroy the wicked!
      Get out of my life, you murderers!
²⁰ They blaspheme you;
      your enemies misuse your name.
²¹ O Lord, shouldn’t I hate those who hate you?
      Shouldn’t I despise those who oppose you?
²² Yes, I hate them with total hatred,
      for your enemies are my enemies.

²³ Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
²⁴ Point out anything in me that offends you,
and lead me along the path of everlasting life.

Pleasing People

2011-05-08T20:52:00.000-04:00

Today was an absolutely gorgeous day. I love being able to have windows open and being able to be outside without a coat. It makes me happy. Even if it does mean that my allergy meds have to work overtime. And it was a wonderful day to celebrate and honor moms, even if I spent my day far away from mine.

Church this morning was wonderful. Something that caught my attention during the sermon was when he started talking about how we can't worry too much about what other people think about us. *Sigh* Apparently I needed to hear this yet again. I really struggle with this. I don't like conflict or people being upset or angry. I like to make people happy. And I get called a pushover which at times I am. But it's a problem. Because way too often I care more about what other people think of me instead of thinking and caring about what God thinks about me.

If I'm not careful, I can spend my life trying to please everyone around me, when instead I need to do what God has called me to do without excuse. I need to focus on him and put on blinders for the rest of the world. There is nothing wrong with enjoying putting a smile on another person's face, the problem is when I avoid the conflict that needs to happen or stray from doing what I know is right because of what people may think.

It's something I'm constantly working on and one of my favorite verses about this is Galatians 1:10:

"Obviously, I'm not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ's servant."

My goal can't be to please people. That cannot be what I am striving for. I can't always make everyone around me happy. But I can do what I know is right no matter what I think people may think about me. I can strive to honor and bring glory to God through all my actions and words.

So I'm fighting the people pleaser within me. It rears its head at the most inopportune times. But with the power of Christ in me, it will be overcome. Because sin has been defeated and my savior won.

Endurance

2011-05-07T19:20:00.000-04:00

Endurance. It's something I thought about a lot at the beginning of this school year. I had just moved several hours away from home and started a new job and all I could think about was enduring. And when I thought about enduring, it wasn't in the most positive light. Teeth gritting endurance. But God started changing my perspective. Endurance doesn't have to be a chore. It can be a joyful time. And even though this year has had its ups and downs, I've endured. And it has become an endurance that comes from joy and contentment. An endurance that displays the strength of my Father.

In the beginning of this year I found these verses:

"We pray that you'll have the strength to stick it out over the long haul-- not the grim strength of gritting your teeth, but the glory strength God gives. It is strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy, thanking the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful he has for us."
Colossians 1:11-12

Now they are taped to one of my notebooks.

In the beginning they were a constant prayer. I didn't think I could endure. I wasn't sure I could make it. But I did. And there was joy in the enduring. That was completely mind blowing to me. That God could replace my fear and teeth gritting with joy and contentment. And you know what did it? It was the truth in this verse (another one that adorns my notebook):

"He kept right now going because he kept his eyes on the one who is invisible." Hebrews 11:27b

And it's true. When your eyes are on Jesus, you can keep right on going. He will lead. He will guide. And he'll take that teeth gritting and turn it into a beautiful expression of faith. It becomes joy filled. And that's something that only God can do. And it's pretty awesome. Because when you don't think you have the strength to endure any more, when you're sure that you aren't strong enough, when you're ready to give up and walk back to Michigan, God makes it a time of joy because of what HE can do. Because of his power. And he gets the glory.

And that's just awesome.

Aware

2011-05-06T16:57:00.000-04:00

I love getting my hair done. Having someone else wash it and blow dry it is like heaven. And then the scalp massage...it makes me relaxed just thinking about it. That's what I did yesterday after school. I feel like that was really the start of my weekend in some ways. I got my hair done, went to my Bible study for game night, talked to someone special on the phone, got to wear jeans to work this morning because it's Friday, and was gone on a field trip all day long. It was wonderful. And I definitely almost fell asleep on the bus, apparently I'm still really relaxed.

We need days like that. Days that are relaxing and fun. Days where we stop thinking about all the bad news on TV and just enjoy the world God created. Those are the days that rejuvenate our spirits.

It struck me as I wrote that last sentence, that I don't remember the last time I just enjoyed God's creation. Sure, every once in a while I'll see something that makes me go, "Wow, God." But rarely do I spend a chunk of time. Rarely do I specifically set time aside to just take it in. I'm not a super outdoorsy girl. I happen to prefer hotels over tents any day. But there is something to be said about just taking in God's creation. Whether it's the people I work with everyday, or a smile on someone's face, a flower in bloom, or the fact that my new allergy medicine might be working, I want to be aware. I want to live aware. Aware of the life around me. Aware of what God is doing in my heart and in the hearts of the people around me.

Aware. Seeing. Understanding. Reaching. Working where God has me. Serving those God brings into my life. That's living life aware.

"They know the truth about God because he has made it obvious to them. For ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see his invisible qualities-- his eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse for not knowing God."
Romans 1:19-20

Lists and Heart Talk

2011-05-04T20:40:00.000-04:00

I don't really have a lot to say tonight so I thought I'd make some lists for you. Lists to help you get to know me better. Lists of what I've been thinking about lately. So. First, a list of things I really really like:

1. Lists :-) They make me very very happy.

2. Not having to pack my lunch (and still having food to eat because of an awesome PTO!)

3. Not having to scrape my car in the morning (though it's supposed to frost tonight...sad)

4. Driving to work in the daylight and not with the moon still out!

5. Cough drops. They make my life so much better.

6. Long phone conversations with people I like to talk to.

7. Countdowns. I have a whiteboard full of them.

8. Field Trips!!

9. Sleep :-)

10. Yummy beef burritos that I made from Mrs. Tappen's recipe. So good.

Things I don't like:

1. Packing my lunch :-)

2. Scraping my car in the morning.

3. The fact that my allergy meds aren't working and apparently I need to switch.

4. Students who are disrespectful.

5. Gas prices. It's making it rough going to and from Michigan.

And there's probably more, but I hate being negative (whoops, there's number 6). So let's move on to better topics.

I love when Jesus speaks directly to my heart. Usually it's no more than a gentle reminder that he's here with me, that he cares for me, or that something's happening that I need to pay attention to, but I love it. There were times when I was not close to God at all. I had turned away and couldn't hear him anymore. And that's what I missed the most. But God. He gently pursued me and loved me. He brought me to a place where I could hear his voice again. And I love it. It's precious because I know what it's like to not hear his voice. It makes it that much more specail to hear it.

And now I'm rambling and my contacts are going in and out of focus so I'll stop. But my heart is pretty much bursting with thankfulness right now over who my God is. Because he's amazingly awesome and everyone should know him.

Safe

2011-05-03T18:45:00.001-04:00

I have a favorite spot to sit in to read. It's true. If you don't believe me, just ask my parents to show you pictures. I have been sitting in the same place to read for years. In my opinion it's the best place in the house to read. It's in the living room, at the end of the couch closest to the lamp. It's quiet, the light is good, and, well, I like corners.

That may sound odd, but I've been thinking about it lately. If you give me a choice of where to sit, I'll choose the end of the couch so I can tuck myself into the corner. Usually I'll curl up with my feet under me and a pillow on my lap. I like things touching me. Sitting in the middle of the couch is discomforting to me. We have oversized chairs in our family room and when I'm home for the weekend, I'll squeeze in with my mom. It's not because I like to be cramped. But there is something about being small and having pillows and chair arms around that makes me feel rather safe. Protected even.

It's why, when my dad is sitting on the couch, I'll curl up next to him. It probably explains why I love to cuddle. It's why in the winter I'll sleep with four blankets, a comforter, and a sheet on top of me. Someone suggested I get an electric blanket if I'm that cold, but that defeats the purpose. I like the weight. I like feeling safe.

God does that for me. He makes me feel safe. He reminds me that I'm not alone. He holds me. And while I know that God asks me to do incredibly risky things, it's like doing them with the weight of my blankets, or in the corner of the couch. I know he's there. I can feel him holding me in the crook of his arm.

Like babies who sleep best when they are held close because they realize they are safe, I know I'm safe in my Father's arms. That doesn't mean that my life will be easy, risk free, failure free, hurt free, or pain free. It simply means that I know who holds me. And I know his plan is for my good. Whatever comes, he will still hold me.

Safe does not equal nothing bad ever happening to me. It means that when bad stuff does happen, I still trust that my God is holding me in the palm of his hand. It means that I still trust. It means I still have a hope. It means that my eternity is still safe and secure in him.

And that's what being safe means.

"I am not asking you to take them out of this world, but to keep them safe from the evil one." John 17:15 (Jesus praying for US!)

God Sized Moments

2011-05-02T19:42:00.000-04:00

Moments. God has a lot to say about moments and time. Moments are special. I happen to love those little moments where the little things happen. The moments when I can hear God whispering to my heart. The moments when I stop and listen. The moments are where life happens.

Yet too often we forget to invite God into the moments. We just go along our daily lives knowing he's out there, but forgetting to invite. And invitations are nice. I love knowing that I'm being thought of and I think God feels the same way. He's waiting to be invited into the moments.

Still, I know that all my moments aren't pretty. There are moments when I act in sin or when I am being completely overwhelmed by temptation. But those are the moments that we need to invite God into the most. He loves us. Deeply. Passionately. With a never-ending, unfailing, unfathomable love. And those moments that I feel the most unlovable, are the moments I need to invite him into to show me how wrong I am.

I'm starting to see that every moment is a God size moment. Every moment deserves to have his touch, his power, and his grace. That touch, that power, that grace, makes temptation flee. It silences the condemnation and the judging voices. By inviting God into those moments, I'm inviting God to take care of things. It's not my power or my ability any more. It's Jesus. Working in me. Working through me. Changing me. Shaping me. Building me into his woman.

So. I'm working on making every moment a God sized moment. I'm working on inviting him to take part in the life that happens in moments. Moments are special. And I have a God who cares about each moment of my day. Who wants to savor the specialness with me. Who wants to fight for me. I like that.

"For the King trusts in the Lord. The unfailing love from the Most High keeps him from stumbling."

Psalm 21:7

"For I am always aware of your unfailing love..."

Psalm 26:3a

Fear

2011-05-01T20:46:00.000-04:00

Fear. It's not a fun word. It's not a fun emotion to experience. There are times and places where fear is a good thing. Fear can keep us from harm. But if we allow it to, fear can also keep us from what God's best is for us.

That's the kind of fear I battle on almost a daily basis. I have the normal silly fears of heights, roller coasters, and creepy crawly things. But I also have the fears that seem at times to define me. And those fears are what can keep me from doing what I know God has called me to do.

Recently, I've been battling fear in new areas. But at the same time, it's a familiar fear. It's the fear of change, the fear of failure, and the fear of being vulnerable and real all wrapped up together. It's fear that I've battled before, only the situation is different.

Healthy fear can help keep me safe. Unhealthy fear will harm and cripple me.

And so I battle. Day after day. Sometimes experiencing victory and sometimes giving into the fear. And that's when I hear God's whisper:

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear..." (1John 4:18a)

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified...for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." (Deuteronomy 31:6)

And then I have a choice. I can choose to believe that what God has said is true. That his perfect love (because his love is the only perfect love I know of) will chase my fear out. That he will be with me. Always. I can choose to trust the One who has more than proved himself trustworthy. Or I can choose to wallow in my fear. I can choose to say that I think God is a liar, because I don't believe what he has said in his word.

And frankly, I don't want to be the one to call God a liar.

So here's my choice. I am choosing to believe God. I am choosing to allow him to perfectly love me and replace my fear with his love. I am choosing to trust him. Because he is believable. He is trustworthy. And his very name is LOVE.

Trust

2011-03-21T20:56:00.000-04:00

One of the first things that I do when I get to work in the morning is check out BibleGateway's verse of the day. I love it. It helps to set the mood of my day and when I get frustrated in the middle of the day, I steal a moment to stop in to my office to read it again. It's so important for me to refocus throughout the day. I take some time to reread the scripture from that morning and pray. For my student, for myself, for the other students and staff I encounter everyday.

Anyways all that to say that I loved today's verse. I love that I made it back to my office to read it at least three or four times today. The verse was Jeremiah 17:7-8:

"But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit."

Today this was a reminder to trust in God. To put my confidence and hope in him. To rely on him. Because I want to be like that tree. I don't want to fear when hard times, stressful times, and times of testing come. I don't want to worry when emptiness seems to come flooding in. I don't want to worry when I feel lonely or just dry and tired. I want to bear fruit. I want to be healthy and grow. I want God's blessing.

I want to trust. And I'm working on it. It seems to be going slowly somedays. The days when I want to go back to my office (which happens to be padded/sound proof) and scream for a few seconds or minutes depending on my mood. And then there's the days that are good. The days when I'm ready to work for longer because my student is getting things, or the rest of the students are behaving and I get to have some fun with them.

Trusting isn't easy. But it's necessary. And it's coming. Slowly, but it's happening.

Thankfulness

127. Long walks on nice days

128. Beautiful spring days

129. Co workers who understand what I'm going through

130. Drew "creating" signs :-)

131. March Madness Craziness

132. New shorts that fit and are smaller than last summer's

133. A new summer/spring wardrobe that looks like spring/summer

134. Sitting cross legged.... it just makes me happy

135. The chance to observe other interpreters work

136. Popcorn

137. Text messages that encourage, make me laugh, and point me to Jesus

Bigger

2011-03-20T16:31:00.000-04:00

This last week has been a little rough. I'll be the first to admit it. There were a couple of days that were rougher than others. Some days were relaxing and beautiful. Some days were full of stress and me screaming, "WHY?!?!?!" But as I've had the chance to spend time outside this week, walking and taking in God's creation all around me, my spirit has become settled. And as I read Isaiah 40, it speaks directly to my heart and leads me into a time of worship. Here, read for yourself:

Isaiah 40:27-28

"O Jacob, how can you say that the LORD does not see your troubles? O Israel, how can you say God ignores your rights? Have you never heard? Have you never understood? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth. He never grows weak or weary. No one can measure the depth of his understanding."

So in the midst of my screaming "WHY?!?!?!", God didn't answer me. He didn't tell me why such and such was happening, why I was in the middle of things, why I was having a crappy day. And he doesn't have to. He's the Creator of the universe and he doesn't owe me an explanation. Yet he told me something that soothed my heart. That calmed me and drew me to him. He told me he understood. He told me he saw. And he told me that he was bigger than what was happening. And for that moment, it was enough.

Honestly, a lot of the times when I'm upset or angry and I start talking to someone, I don't want them to fix it. I just want them to listen. To hear what I'm saying. To see and acknowledge that I am beyond frustrated. To simply look at me and be understanding enough to let me vent. And that's incredibly satisfying to my heart. And usually I come to terms with things and can move on.

And that's what God promises in this passage. He doesn't promise that everything will be okay. He doesn't promise that pain and trouble will not happen. He promises that he will see it, that he will not ignore it, that he understands it, and that, ultimately, he is bigger than it.

So when I'm weak and weary and ready to walk back to Detroit, he's strong and full of energy and ready to hold me. He's in the midst of what I'm going through. He understands people being stupid. He understands how much I love these high schoolers and how much I want to see them know him and how much my heart aches when I see them not following him.

And he's so full of mercy and grace. Little snippets of conversations that make me hope that loving these kids isn't in vain. Little breakthroughs that show me a glimpse of how God is working behind the scenes. Strength for confrontations I didn't want to have, but needed to happen. And literal "signs" of love as I watch girls sign a song that I'm working with them on. They are all reminders that God is listening. That he is here. And that he cares, deeply, for me.

God is truly amazing.

Surrender Plans

2011-03-16T17:11:00.001-04:00

The weather is beautiful right now. When I got home from another long, somewhat stressful day at work I slipped on flip flops for the first time in months.

Two members of the family have already headed out for a bike ride before dinner. I'm hoping to take a walk later.

And even in all this beauty around me, the day has been a little stressful. I'm reminded to surrender. It's such a pesky word. One that I don't really care for actually. Because, let's face it, as much as I try to deny it, I like to be in control. I like things done my way. But surrender isn't only needed, it's necessary.

As I've walked through the past few days, and anticipate the next few, I've had to surrender my plans and my ways numerous times. If I had had my way, in my perfect world, such and such a situation never would have happened. But the truth is, it did happen. And other stuff happens. And it's not a perfect world. I'm not perfect either. However, I serve and know the one who is. And he's asking me to, once again, surrender to his plans.

I don't know what the future holds. But God does. And as much as I'd like to tell him at times what I think it should hold, I'm choosing to surrender. There are days when it's more of a struggle than normal. And there are days when it doesn't seem to be a problem at all. But everyday needs to be one of surrendering and letting go. Letting God work in the middle of the messes.

I don't really know what's next. So I'm waiting and praying and following God's leading with the people he's placed in my life right now. And I know that whatever happens, God will get the glory, when I surrender to him.

Promise plans

2011-03-15T20:58:00.000-04:00

Today was a stressful day. It was stressful for many reasons that I actually can't tell you, so you'll just have to take my word for it.

Part of the reason it was/is so stressful is that I don't know what the end result will be. Which, when I stop and think about it, God never promised I would know.

And so today, I've been mediating and consumed with thoughts of his plans. And several verses continued popping up in my head (and on my computer screen when I googled). So as I reflect and trust what these verses say, I hope you will do the same.

"My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts," says the LORD. "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.

Isaiah 55:8

"For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."

Jeremiah 29:11

"But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations."

Psalm 33:11

"The LORD Almighty has sworn, "Surely, as I have planned, so it will be, and as I have purposed, so it will stand."

Isaiah 14:24

And that's the hope that I have. That even though I don't know God's plans: He does. And he's proven himself faithful in the past and he will continue to be faithful in the future. And this I know: Every promise of God is true. So I will trust him.

The Road Through Ephesus... Carefully and Uniquely Ephesians 2:21

2011-03-14T17:27:00.001-04:00

Today is Pi day (3.14) and we are celebrating by having pot pies for dinner followed by a Hershey's Chocolate Creme Pie for dessert. Yum. And the weather is beautiful outside and it promises to stay beautiful for most of this week. So other than I'm still fighting a cold, this Monday has been pretty good so far.

And since it's been so wonderful, I thought maybe we could add to that and jump back into Ephesians. We're almost at the end of chapter two! I can hardly believe it! Anyways, Ephesians:

Ephesians 2:21

"We are carefully joined together in him, becoming a holy temple for the Lord."

When I first looked at this verse there was one word that jumped out at me right away: carefully. In this verse it describes how we are joined together in him. And I love it. Maybe because I have a hard time doing anything carefully. It doesn't matter how hard I try to be careful, many times the klutz in me comes out instead. Whether is breaking something that's delicate (it's why I try not to own anything that will break too easy), twisting my knee (more times than I can count), or hitting myself in the face while signing (I think my depth perception must be off, but the kids get a laugh out of it), I struggle with being careful.

And the fact that this verse declares about us being carefully joined together in Christ is beautiful. He treats us with care. But not only that, we each have a specific place, a specific design in his house, as his church. He places us with care, knowing our uniqueness. He knows our desires, our gifts, our passions. He's created us to fit perfectly and carefully into the body, into his temple.

Because he has redeemed us and bought us, we are his holy temple. The Greek for the word that is translated holy is hagios. The word implies something that is set apart or different. Something that is distinguished, distinctive, and unique. Which is what we are to be in Christ. We are to be like him and different from the world.

I love it because God knows our uniqueness and uses that to place us carefully and perfectly. And, as a body of believers, all our uniqueness that he has given us comes together to form a temple for him that is unique and distinctive. It has the very essence of Christ written all over it. It's built into the walls and stamped in the concrete.

It's beautiful.

Thankfulness...

111. Uniqueness that has Jesus written all over it

112. The need to use my sunglasses for more than just the glare off the snow.

113. Celebrating the little holidays in fun ways.

114. A desk with a white board top to write my to-do list and shopping lists on.

115. Knowing that spring is coming!

116. Early bedtimes.

117. Chocolate cupcakes. Yum!

118. Students who want and ask for my help!!

119. Weekends

120. The things that make having a cold more bearable.

121. Skype dates with the bestie.

122. Translating music in ASL

123. Cracks in life

124. Everyday silliness

125. Hot Vanilla Chai Tea with Truvia

126. A friend who understands translating problems and is willing to help work through them.

The Little Things

2011-03-13T15:52:00.001-04:00

As I sit here sipping my hot tea because I am once again sick, I'm thinking about the small things. The things that by themselves don't seem all that important.

I happen to love the small things. The little things that make me happy. My favorite dessert (basically chocolate), my favorite worship song, a smile.

I think God speaks through the little things. They're his love letters to us.

But sometimes we get so caught up in life that we miss the small things. We miss the small signs that tell us that something big is going to happen.

I've definitely been there. All of the sudden, one day, noticing that there are leaves on trees. When if I had just been paying attention I would have noticed the small changes taking place.

So often in my own life, I just see what I want the end result to look like. And I just know that I'm not there yet. I forget to take time to rejoice in the small changes. The changes that get me one step closer to where I need to be. All those little changes add up. All those little changes are growth. And when there's enough little changes, it's like the leaves all of a sudden showing up on the trees or flowers sprouting from earth. It's the little changes that make life, life.

Perhaps this year, I've been a little more in tune to the signs of spring. After this long winter, I'm eager to see in any sign of spring. This week I want to live in tune to the little things God is doing in my life. I want to see the signs of his love. I want to see little ways that I'm growing closer to him. Because just as spring will eventually get here as each little change happens, so I will eventually look like Jesus as each little change occurs in my life.

"For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland."

Isaiah 43:19

Cracked and Broken

2011-03-12T18:57:00.001-05:00

Psalm 2:9

"You will break them with an iron rod and smash them like clay pots."

That's literally what we did at the ladies day out at church today. We smashed pots with a hammer. It was an illustration of our brokenness. And as I've sat here, thinking about it since, I've come to realize a few things I want to share with you.

We're all broken. We're all messed up. There is something wrong with all of us. For some, it's just more apparent. But let's be clear: we're all broken.

Proverbs 26:23

"Smooth words may hide a wicked heart, just as pretty glaze covers a clay pot."

Some of us just have more glaze covering us.

But there is one who can and will put us back together. He's the one that created us. Who loves us dearly. Who holds us close and knows us intimately.

Isaiah 64:8

"And yet, O Lord, you are our Father. We are the clay, and you are the potter. We are all formed by your hand."

So we glued our pots back together.

Some of ours were more broken then others. All had cracks. None were perfect.

But those cracks, those imperfections, or in some cases, those big gaping holes are what God's glory and light shine through. They are how people see Jesus in us. They are how people see God's power in us and through us.

2 Corinthians 4:7

"We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes is clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves."

My pot is sitting on my nightstand. It's missing at least half the pot. But it's beautiful for a very simple reason: it speaks to the redeemed, to the restored. It tells of what God can do with brokenness. And it has that much of a bigger place for God's light to shine through.

And I pray that my life is the same: that the cracks and holes freely allow God's love, power, and light to shine through.

Just Do It.

2011-03-09T19:32:00.000-05:00

So I just have to say that I love Bible Gateway. I love being able to look up verses when I'm online and I can remember part of a verse I want to share but for the life of me can't remember the exact words because I've memorized in several different versions and they're all starting to run together into what I like to call "The Holly Standard Version". I love pulling it up at work and leaving it there all day for encouragement. I love taking a verse and looking at it in ten different versions. It's awesome. But what's even more awesome is that it's God's Word.

I also happen to love my actual paper and ink Bible too. I'm kind of excited because it's starting to fall apart. And that means it's being used. And that thrills my heart.

I was just going to type something that I realize is rather ridiculous. I'll tell you what I was going to say and why it's ridiculous.

I was going to say how even though my Bible is starting to fall apart, I'm still not where I want to be. I wish that the Bible was a higher priority for me. I wish that I spent more time studying and reading and learning and diving deep into it.

And then I realized how ridiculous that sounds.

I wish!?!?

I don't want to just "wish" that this would happen. That's sounds so passive. It is so passive. If I wish that it would happen then I need to put my money where my mouth is and go all Nike on it. I need to just do it.

How often is that our response? We wish something would happen, or we pray about something happening, when what God is really telling us is stop wishing, stop praying and DO IT! Sometimes we use prayer as an excuse. Sometimes we know what God told us to do, we just keep praying hoping for a different answer. And that's disobedience. Don't get me wrong: Prayer is essential to the life of a Christian, but oftentimes we utilize it as an excuse. We don't need to pray about what God has commanded us to do; we just need to do it.

So, this week, let's go all Nike on how we use our time. Let's stop using praying and wishing as an excuse to not do what God has clearly commanded us to do. Let's do it.

²² But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. ²³ For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. ²⁴ You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like. ²⁵ But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don’t forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it.

James 1:22-25

Beauty

2011-03-08T20:56:00.000-05:00

Beauty. I was thinking about this yesterday. Work had been rather stressful, but Mondays I have a prep period the last hour of the day. A lot of times I use it as an opportunity to release some tension, work on vocabulary for different classes, do research, pray, and just take a break from my student. So I was stressed and tense yesterday. It had been a long day. So I did what I do when I get stressed: I wrote Scripture and truth in my journal that I keep at school for specifically that purpose. That's relaxing in and of itself, but there's something that brought even more relaxation. Beauty.

I took my markers that I carry around with me and traced the words. It was colorful. And it was beautiful. And the tension melted away.

God created beauty. He delights in it. Just look at the world around you. The flowers. The colors. The rainbows. The people.

It's hard to be tense when you're surrounded by beauty. It's why people spend vacations in beautiful settings. It's why I color and write with colored markers and pens. It's why rainbows make me happy and fresh flowers (that I'm not allergic to) make me smile.

Beauty relaxes. Beauty invites. Beauty draws. Beauty brings peace.

The Road Through Ephesus... Jesus Ephesians 2:20

2011-03-07T18:44:00.002-05:00

After a rather stressful ending to last week (brand new car on the side of the road 5x's in the middle of nowhere Indiana), I'm back. The weather is rather beautiful down here right now. It's in the 40s and I love it. I'd prefer 60s to 70s, but any increase over 35 is almost spring like. It even smells like spring! It really is coming! Of course, they're predicting snow flurries sometime this week, but *hopefully* no accumulation.

So as winter starts to melt away, I thought we could get a little bit closer to finishing chapter two in Ephesians. We are actually almost finished with chapter two! Here we go!

Ephesians 2:20

"Together, we are his house, built on the foundation of the apostles and the prophets. And the cornerstone is Jesus Christ himself."

Word pictures. I love them. I love that Paul compares us to a house in this verse. Now, I'll admit, I don't know really anything about building a house. But I do know that if your foundation isn't good, your house is pretty much, well, worthless. So when this says that we are Jesus' house and our foundation is the apostles and the prophets, our foundation is the teachings of Jesus and Jesus himself. Because that's what the apostle's and the prophet's taught: Jesus.

It serves as a reminder to be careful with who we listen to. I know there's been a lot of controversy with one pastor lately about whether or not what he is teaching is contrary to the Word of God. And while I might debate you on this issue (provided we're on opposing sides) until I'm blue in the face, I believe that God's Word is the final word. And that his Word is what our foundation should be. Human opinion really doesn't matter in the long run, but what God has to say about a topic matters greatly.

And then I got excited about the last part of this verse too. "And the cornerstone is Jesus Christ himself." Yes, I went and looked up the word cornerstone. Don't laugh. You know I love words. :-) And these are some of the definitions I found:

"Something that is essential, indispensable, or basic"
"A person or thing of prime importance..."
"Vital element"

And then some synonyms:

"anchor"
"base"
"essential"
"key element"
"pillar"

I love that third definition: "vital element". Jesus is a vital element. In reality, he is the element. The cornerstone, from what I understand, is part of the foundation. It's basis for the rest of the building. It's the starting point. Where everything is built off of.

Because when it really comes down to it, the main point, the only point, is Jesus. Off of him, everything else is built. So as we study scripture ourselves and learn from pastors, teachers, and others, let's remember to go back to Jesus. Make sure that everything you are learning lines up with Jesus and who he is.

Jesus is what our faith is.

Thankfulness...

101. Growing up with Pastors who teach God's Word... and encourage me to check it out myself

102. Scripture to study

103. Friends to discuss difficult topics with

104. The vital element of faith: Jesus

105: Weekends in Michigan

106: Parent's letting me borrow their car while mine's in the shop

107: Spring is coming!!

108: Allergy meds... because spring is coming!!!!

109: Long hugs from my best friend.

110: Cuddling with my dad, because I was cold (or for any other reason)

Child-like

2011-03-02T16:19:00.000-05:00

Today is Dr. Seuss' birthday. In honor of the day, we're having green eggs and ham for dinner. I am more than a little excited about this.

You make think it strange that a 22 year old gets excited about Dr. Seuss, but I enjoy kid things. For example, the last time I went to the library I checked out two Veggie Tales DVDs, not for little kids I know, but for me. I also contemplated some Donut Hole Man Videos while I was there. Sitting in my room right now is a Veggie Tales coloring book, two Veggie Tales plush, and a 64 pack of Crayola crayons. I did have play doh in there, but my sister likes that more than me so I gave it to her.

I enjoy having the chance to be a kid every once in a while. When it's just been a really long and frustrating day, I love pulling out my crayons and coloring.

Matthew 18:3 speaks of the need for us all to become like children. No, we don't all need to watch Veggie Tales and color in Veggie Tales coloring books. Look at what it says:

"Then he said, 'I tell you the truth, unless you turn from your sins and become like little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven."

That's how I want to live. Like a little kid. Realizing my need for a savior. Believing that Jesus is who he said he was and that he will do what he said he will do. Kids trust implicitly. Without question, hesitation, or reserve. That's how I want to be in my relationship with Jesus: like a child.

Relationships

2011-02-27T16:35:00.000-05:00

So you remember some of the verse I posted (I think) yesterday? I just realized that I didn't put a reference down with them. In case you were wondering, they're from Ecclesiastes 4:12 (and I definitely almost typed Ephesians instead of Ecclesiastes...oy...). Well guess what the sermon was on today at church.

Yep, it was on that verse and the verses around it and the need for and power of companionship.

You think God's trying to tell me something?

I'm not one of those people who has a million and one close friends. I have people I consider friends from tours, people I grew up with and family friends, but often I don't consider them to be my closest friends. That title is reserved for a select few. All of whom, I realized as I was listening to the sermon, live in Michigan. And I live in Indiana. Which can make it difficult, because I don't have really any close friends down here. I love my Michigan friends, but sometimes I need someone down here.

And I've been lax.

I haven't been super good at cultivating friendships down here. Relationships that I need to survive.

I can make excuses that I'm an introvert and it's difficult for me to make friends. Which is true, but it's not a good excuse. It is more difficult for me to make friends than my sister who's an outgoing extrovert. But it's something I have to do. I have to step out of my comfort zone.

So, anyone looking for a new friend in Indiana? Because it looks like I need some.

loving this video...

2011-02-27T16:22:00.000-05:00

This video is pretty awesome. Just saying.

The Road Through Ephesus... Members Ephesians 2:19

2011-02-26T17:36:00.001-05:00

We had three school cancellations this last week. And as much as I like sleeping in, cabin fever hits rather quickly at times. By day three of no school I was more than ready to go back. We were out of school more than in last week. And of course the reason was the weather. I can't wait for spring!

The funny thing is that even with three days off, I didn't get a ton done. I got my hair cut and studied a little for the EIPA written test, but other than that I was fairly unproductive.

So in an effort to get back into being slightly productive, I thought we could dive back into Ephesians.

Ephesians 2:19

"So now you Gentiles are no longer foreigners and strangers. You are citizens along with all God's holy people. You are members of God's family."

I don't know if you've ever felt like you didn't quite belong. I know I've been there. If you can imagine it, I wasn't your "typical" high school student. I wasn't a risk taker, I hated roller coasters, and I was fairly sheltered growing up. I cared a lot about academics and got along better with adults than my peers. All of this made me feel like I didn't necessarily fit the mold of "normal" (not that normal actually exists). I didn't know all the latest music trends (and frankly unless it was in Christian music, I didn't care) and I was pretty picky about the movies I saw. All of that to say, I never quite felt like I "fit in" with that group. Sure I had some friends, but there were other places I definitely fit better.

And maybe that's why I connect with this verse so much. I have somewhere that I "fit in". I belong. I'm home. I'm a member.

There's power in having a group of people support you.

"A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back to back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken."

We need people in our lives. Belonging to God's family gives us that opportunity.

This week I want to challenge you (and me) to stop and take a look at the people God has put in your life to show you that you belong. Take a look at the people that have your back. Take some time and thank God that you are no longer a stranger, but that there are people who will stand with you to fight your battles. And be that for someone this week. Be someone who tells another person that you're there. That they belong. And that when they're too weak to fight, you'll fight for them.

Be who God created the church to be.

The Road Through Ephesus... Go to God Ephesians 2:18

2011-02-22T14:20:00.001-05:00

We have a snow day today. And while I relish the chance to sleep in and the time to get stuff done that I didn't think I was going to be able to get done, I'd really like the snow to go away. Even though it means allergy season (for me) is right around the corner. I'm ready for a change in the weather!

So anyways, the snow day is why I'm posting so much earlier than I normally do. And I debated for some time about what to post about. I debated if I should deviate from normal and post about hugs and how much I like them just because I'm in a rather random mood, or if I should stick to posting about Ephesians because I'm pretty excited about this next verse.

For the record, I chose Ephesians (though I guess you also now know how I feel about hugs).

Ephesians 2:18

"Now all of us can come to the Father through the same Holy Spirit because of what Christ has done for us."

I love this verse. I love the truth that is in it. I love the reminder it gives me. That I can approach God. That I can have a relationship with the creator of the universe. It's beautiful. We have a confidence in approaching God (1 John 5:14). We can go to him when we need something, when we are rejoicing, when we just need to talk. We have nothing to fear in approaching him.

I love that. I don't know about you, but my dad's pretty great. I have no fear about approaching him. Whether it's for a hug, to cuddle, or to talk something out, I know I can go to my dad.

It's the same with God. Because of what Christ did for us on the cross, we can approach him without reservation. Sometimes I just want to be near my dad, feel his strength and his love. Sometimes the same is true with God. I just want to be near him. I want to feel his strength and his love and know that everything will be okay. Because I serve a big God. And while it may not work out exactly the way I want it to, just being near him is enough to calm my heart.

And I hope this post doesn't seem really random and like I jumped topics a lot, because I don't know about you, but I think I need to spend some more time going to God.

This week will you join me? Will you spend time going to God, telling him what's on your heart, and just knowing that he is strong and loves you? Because this is the same God that is with you, who is mighty to save, who sings over you with rejoicing, who's love calms and quiets you, and who is in the midst of everything you are going through (Zephaniah 3:17) . Go to him. You won't regret it.

The Road Through Ephesus... Peace and Freedom Ephesians 2:17

2011-02-21T18:33:00.001-05:00

There is white stuff falling from the sky again. And have I mentioned how much I hate scraping my car? However, scraping my car makes me thankful that I have a car to drive, so I guess it's not all bad. Just not what I want to do every morning/afternoon.

But enough about the dismal weather conditions. I'm in the mood for some good news instead, so I thought we could jump back into Ephesians. I hope that's okay with you, and if it's not then you can stop reading here.

So. Here we go.

Ephesians 2:17

"He brought this Good News of peace to you Gentiles who were far away from him, and peace to the Jews who were near."

I want to focus on a few words here: "Good News of peace". The Good News. The Gospel. Jesus coming to earth, living as a man a perfect life, dieing on the cross, taking our sins upon himself, being buried, and rising again three days later. But if you look, Paul (the writer of Ephesians) adds a description of "this Good News". He calls it one of peace. How often do we really look at God's words as being a source of peace? I know that too often I forget this and it's not until I'm in way over my head and I turn back to the Good News that I find peace again.

When I was looking up the word peace in the dictionary (because I love words), I noticed that several of the definitions started with the words "freedom from..." And that's what the Gospel is. It's freedom. It's freedom in Christ. It's freedom to not "do what your sinful nature urges you to do." (Romans 8:12) It's not the fake freedom that the world offers. It's freedom to follow Christ.

Do we actively pursue that freedom? Do we live like we're free? Or do we walk around day in and day out as if we are still in chains? If we believe in Christ and trust the work he did on the cross for us, then we are free. It's a truth we need to believe. Sadly, we often put ourselves back in bondage. We willing enter that oppression. Here's the good news: That bondage we put ourselves in is a lie. We are FREE!

Let's start believing the truth of John 8:36:

"So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free."

The Road Through Ephesus... Reconciliation Ephesians 2:16

2011-02-20T16:36:00.001-05:00

The weather has been fabulous the last few days. Sadly it seems to be coming to an end. It was a nice break from the frigid temperatures but alas, it's back to winter. For one of the first times ever, I really can not wait until it's spring! Other news in my life: I had three high school freshmen boys decide that they wanted to try to set me up with someone. They didn't have anyone in particular in mind, they just wanted me to be dating someone since I've never had a boyfriend, never dated, and never been asked out. I was left slightly speechless when this conversation came up. Oy Gevalt!!

Anyways, I thought today might be a good time to jump back into Ephesians. I know it's been a little while but I want to start doing this a little more regularly again. So, with that said...

Ephesians 2:16

"Together as one body, Christ reconciled both groups to God by means of his death on the cross, and our hostility towards each other was put to death."

I was looking at this verse and the word reconciled caught my attention. So with my love of words, I looked it up in the dictionary and the thesaurus. The word comes from Latin meaning "to come together again". For definitions we had "to restore" or "to settle". And then my favorite, synonyms: to make up, to make peace, to resolve. I love that through Christ's death on the cross, he brought two totally opposite groups together. Not only did he bring them together, he restored their relationship, he resolved their differences. Christ is the ultimate reconciler.

And maybe I love this because I'm such a peace maker. I hate to see people fighting or at odds with each other. It leaves me feeling uneasy. Yet, so often in the church, in our daily relationships, we aren't at peace with each other. So often we allow conflict to drive us apart. Which is horribly sad. Maybe it's time to let Christ reconcile us with each other again. Maybe we should start to take Romans 12:18 to heart:

"Do whatever it takes to live in peace with everyone."

Are you with me?

Living like Jesus

2011-02-17T19:21:00.000-05:00

1 John 2:6

"Those who say they live in God should live their lives as Jesus did."

Wow. I read that and couldn't stop thinking about it. If we say we live in God, which when we say we are united with him in Christ that's pretty much the same thing, we are to live like Jesus.

Now, I want to be doing that anyways but to see it spelled out like that in black and white makes it a little more urgent. A little more like it needs to happen now. I'll admit, some days are really good. Some days are really bad. But to live like Jesus did. What does that look like? Here's a few ideas.

1. It means loving without limits, without conditions. It means loving that kid in a couple of my student's classes that just drives me insane. It means loving the people that have the tendency to make me slightly crazy. Simply because Jesus did.

2. It means serving without reserve. It means holding a door open. Helping a few kids with their homework. It means washing dishes and wiping down tables.

3. It means praying without ceasing. Jesus was in direct communication with his father the whole time he was here on earth. How much more so do I need to be? For the needs around me. For the people God has placed in my life. For my friends, aquaintences, co-workers, family, and people I've never met. It means praying about the little and the big things.

4. It means obeying without hesitation. Ouch. That one hurts. Because I think we all really struggle with this one. Immediate obedience. Obedience that stems from love, not fear. It means living life not just listening to the words of Jesus, but putting them into practice.

All of these require action. None require passivity. All of these are areas I need to work on. What about you? Will you take these next steps with me and start living like Jesus lived?

Thankfulness in sickness...

2011-02-15T20:35:00.001-05:00

So. I'm sick. Again. But I'm getting better at it... this time I went 6 weeks without getting sick :-) and then the weather changed (which was good weather wise, bad sickness wise). But since I've been sick so much lately with colds, I have some things that I have found I am very thankful for. So here it goes.

1. Cold medicine-- it might not make the cold go away, but it does make it so I can function during the cold.

2. Tissues with lotion

3. Sleep

4. My normally healthy body

5. Chapstick

6. Hot showers

7. Menthol Lyptus Cough Drops

8. Comfy clothes

9. Wearing my glasses instead of my contacts

10. Time to chill with Jesus, because when I'm sick there's not much else I want to do.

11. Breathing through my nose. Something I take for granted all too often.

My weekend in pictures...

2011-02-14T20:34:00.000-05:00

I went home this weekend. And the following pictures tell the story of what happened...

This was the car ride on the way to the birthday parties...what you can't see in the picture is the sound effects she was making. Which is sad, because it might have been the best part.

And then the birthday madness ensued...

The birthday girl and boy

The rest of the craziness...

The Birthday chaos...

We only had a few cakes to choose from...

The Road Through Ephesus...Believe Ephesians 2:15

2011-02-09T19:37:00.001-05:00

It's cold outside in case you haven't noticed. Bitterly cold. Normally I don't mind winter. It actually used to be one of my favorite seasons. This year I can't wait for spring. Breezy days in the 70s. It sounds a little bit like heaven right now as the wind chill is below 0. I'm praying for an early spring, even if it means horrible allergies.

But enough about the weather, it will change soon enough and then I'll probably think it's too hot :-) Let's talk about something that isn't going to change: God's word.

Yep, you guessed it. It's time to go back to Ephesians. I'll be honest. I struggled finding a way to relate to this verse. I struggled to hear what God was saying to me in this specific verse. I don't know why. But I hope that now that I feel like I have something to share with you, that I can find the words to do so. So, here we go.

Ephesians 2:15

"He did this by ending the system of law with its commandments and regulations. He made peace between Jews and Gentiles by creating in himself one new people from the two groups."

At first as I looked at this verse, I immediately focused on the second part. I focused again on unity. But as I thought about it I realized that I had written on unity before. And while I think it's an important topic and one that we don't actually accomplish much in the way of, I felt like I had spoke my piece on the subject and maybe I was missing something else. So as often happens, when I started writing this blog post I typed the verse and still had no idea what I was going to write on. And as I looked at the verse for what must have been the millionth time, I finally saw it. Apparently I'd missed the first part of the verse this whole time.

Go back. Read the first sentence. I'll wait until you see it too.

Did you see it?

"He did this by ending the system of law with its commandments and regulations." With Jesus' death, burial, and resurrection, the law, with all of the commandments and regulations, rules and procedures, was finished. He ended it. It no longer exists. Do you understand the freedom that comes from that? Not freedom to do whatever we choose, but freedom in Christ. To love him and to obey him out of that love.

It reminds me of Romans 7.

^"4 So, my dear brothers and sisters, this is the point: You died to the power of the law when you died with Christ. And now you are united with the one who was raised from the dead....⁶ But now we have been released from the law, for we died to it and are no longer captive to its power. Now we can serve God, not in the old way of obeying the letter of the law, but in the new way of living in the Spirit."

I love it. My heart beats a little bit faster when I read this. Not only because the law no longer has power over us, but because we can serve God in a new way, by living in the Spirit. It's power cannot hold us captive any longer unless we give it that power. We now live in the freedom to serve God, to love him through the Spirit's power.

And yet, my heart also becomes a little sad when I read this. Because I know that all too often I choose to live as if I'm still under the law. As if I don't have the freedom that Christ has given. I choose to live with guilt and shame, even after I've been forgiven. But here's the good news. Just as I choose to live this way, I can also choose to live God's truth. That I am forgiven. That I am free. That I am loved. That "there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ" (Romans 8:1).

I heard it said the other day that if you see a promise in God's word, you claim it. A commandment, you obey it. And if you see a truth, you have to believe it. There is no other way.

So this week, will you join me in choosing to believe the truth? In choosing to believe God? I hope so. And I'll be praying for you. Please be praying for me.

Pictures that make me happy on cold, sunless, dreary, winter days...

2011-02-07T18:45:00.000-05:00

Family

Bright Colors

Mundane Everyday Life

2011-02-06T14:18:00.000-05:00

I've been contemplating something recently. I don't know that I've ever really thought about it before, at least in the scope of how I'm considering it now. And this is what I've been thinking: God uses every moment, every experience. None are wasted. And while that may not seem like a big deal to you, just think about it. Every experience. Not just the good, the bad, and the ugly, but the mundane, everyday, ordinary things we experience. God uses them. And it's amazing.

So as I'm working on learning Arabic with a friend, God will use that. I don't know how. Maybe he just wants me to learn perseverance or compassion for people learning another language. Maybe in the future I'll have a neighbor that speaks Arabic and I'll have a connection point for sharing Jesus. I don't know how he will use it, I just know he will.

Every encounter I have with a student, every dinner I cook, every shopping trip I take, every conversation I have, every text message I send, God will use.

I love that he chooses to use the mundane as much as the outrageous. I think it's incredible that the things I hate to do he'll use. Scraping the frost/ice/snow off of my car in the morning, I don't know how he'll use that one. Maybe to teach me to appreciate the warmer months, maybe to appreciate the fact that I have a car to transport me places. I just know he'll use it.

As I look back on the short life that I have led up to this point, there are mundane everyday things that God has used already. The decision to sign one song in a talent show before my senior year of high school. The jobs I've had and the people I worked with and for. I can't even explain all that God has done. I just know he has and will continue to work.

So. When I become frustrated this week at the seemingly endless, mundane everyday life things, I will choose to remember that God doesn't waste an experience. Through what I may think of as mundane, God will shape me and the people around me. And that makes those mundane things not so mundane doesn't it?

Power in Weakness

2011-01-26T20:23:00.000-05:00

Last night I sat here contemplating the fact that I will be singing in the worship band at my Indiana church this Sunday. And as I sat here thinking about that and the fact that I would also be singing alto/harmony (which I'm not entirely comfortable doing solely due to the fact that it doesn't come naturally to me), I became rather terrified and even started wondering what I had gotten myself into. Don't get me wrong, I am so excited to be singing again. I LOVE singing. I just haven't done it in a while and harmony scares me. I love the way it sounds, but I really struggle to hear it in a song... most of the time.

Anyway, as I was sitting here thinking about all of that a verse popped into my head (yeah, God's been doing that a lot lately. It's pretty cool).

"My power works best in weakness."

2 Corinthians 12:9b

That's God talking and that's his promise. Which is pretty spectacular, I must say. And after I read that suddenly I knew. When I'm weak, when I know I have struggled with this music, when I cannot hear the harmony for the life of me, God's strong. Here's what I know: without God, this would never work. I would stand up there and flounder around searching for my part. But when God's involved, he can take my weaknesses and turn them into his strengths where he gets all the glory. I learned a long time ago that my heart is what matters most when I lead worship. If my heart is right with God, and I am truly worshiping him, then God will work it out. It's his chance to shine, not mine. The focus is on him, not on me and what I can do. But on what his strength and power can do in the areas where I am weak.

And that's really comforting.

I'm still planning and practicing and (hopefully) meeting up with someone who's better at harmony than I am to learn. Letting God's strength take over doesn't mean not preparing. It means that even when I have done all I can do, it's really God who will step in and make it happen. His power works best when I've done all I can and there is nothing left. That's when God's strength makes all the difference. And that's why he gets all the glory.

Beauty for Ashes

2011-01-25T17:31:00.001-05:00

Recently I've been thinking about some of my friends' stories. Why they are who they are. What their past looks like. And if you ask a lot of them, a lot of them would say that their past isn't very pretty. It's filled with bad choices, sin, and looks downright filthy a times. I understand where they're coming from because my story doesn't seem all that pretty to me. But when I look at my friends' stories, I see beauty. Not because of their actions, but because I see where they are now. I see what God has done in their lives. I see the beauty that shines now because of their past. I see the beauty of them reaching out to others in the same situations. Yet, it can be hard for me to see the beauty in my own story. And last night, as I was mulling this over in my mind, one phrase kept popping into my head, "Beauty for ashes..." I knew it was somewhere in the Bible, but it took me a minute to find it. The phrase comes from Isaiah 61:3:

"To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the Lord has planted for his glory."

The whole chapter talks about how God takes what seems to be basically destroyed and restores it. How he took something that reeked of hopelessness and gave it beauty. But God makes it beautiful. And he is glorified through it all. That's a precious promise.

Open Heart

2011-01-23T18:32:00.000-05:00

This post is going to get vulnerable. I'm just saying. If you aren't comfortable with that, don't read it. But you're going to get my heart and what's been going on in it for the last few weeks.

I haven't been right the last few weeks. I really still can't place my finger on what was wrong, but something was. I was crabby, overtired, and my spirit knew something else was just off. I was troubled and wrestling with God over a number of issues: why I'm still single, why I'm in Indiana, why, why, and why some more. It was rough. I'm not going to lie and tell you that I've got it all figured out now. Because I don't. There are days I will still wrestle with God about why. There are days when my spirit will be heavy and troubled and I'm might not know the reason why. But one of the things I've learned from these past few weeks is that I know the One who does know. I know the one who has it all figured out. And some days I'd frankly like him to fill me in a little, but that's not what he promised. He never promised to let me in on his plans. He did promise that he knew his plans for me and they were good, for a a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).

But that's not the only thing that he taught me through this. I began to realize that too often I live with my heart closed off from the world. Too often I refuse to let people see me. And I do it because I'm scared. I'm terrified of being hurt. Let's face it, being hurt by people sucks. But what I began to understand is this: If there is no chance for pain, then there is no chance for love. So when I shut people out and only show them what I deem safe, I'm not allowing myself to love them or them to love me.

So here's what I want. I want to live my life with my heart open. I want to love people with everything I have and trust God to handle the details of the relationship. I want to move beyond what I consider safe and take a risk. I have to become vulnerable or I won't survive, because being safe is no longer an option. I need people in my life to tell me when I'm shutting them out again. I need people to ask me questions and really listen to my answers. I need people in my life who, when they see the real me, won't turn and run, but who will stay and will love me and allow me to love them. I need people who will open their hearts to me.

It's scary. Actually, it's downright terrifying to allow someone the power to cause me so much pain. I don't know if I'll be able to do it. Yet, I can't NOT do it. There is something within me crying out for this. Because as much as I am handing people the power to cause me pain, I am also giving them the power to show me extravagant only from God love. There will be pain. That's a fact of life. But if I choose to live without the pain people can cause me, then I'm also choosing to live without the love. And I am no longer willing to do that. I am no longer willing to play it safe.

If you know anything about me and my story, you probably know that I have struggled with fear for almost my whole life. It's something I battle literally on a daily basis. Some of it's stupid stuff. The stuff that everyone is afraid of or just little things that make me nervous. But other things are much bigger and have much bigger implications. One of the verses that I have clung to over the past six or so years is this:

"The Lord replied, 'Don't say, 'I'm too young,' for you must go wherever I send you and say whatever I tell you. And don't be afraid of the people, for I will be with you and will protect you. I, the Lord, have spoken.'"

Jeremiah 1:7-8

And the verse that my grandma gave me as my life verse:

"For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs."

Zephaniah 3:17

So. When people fail me, my God is still with me. When the pain comes, he is there to heal. When the fear threatens to overtake me, he sings joy filled songs over me. God has spoken. People will fail. He will not. And he is calling me to this next step. Living life with an open heart. Loving without limits, without conditions. Opening myself up to people and allowing them to see me. Being vulnerable when it could end up hurting me. It's a risk. A big one. But it's one I'm willing to take.

What's God calling you to do?

My heart right now...

2011-01-22T19:43:00.000-05:00

I am seriously listening to this song on repeat and my computer is about to die... you should listen too.

The Road Through Ephesus...Drawn Ephesians 2:14

2011-01-18T18:48:00.001-05:00

Well. It's been a while since I posted on Ephesians, so I thought I would start unpacking what God is speaking to me in this next verse. It amazes me every time I approach this how much he teaches me. It amazes me how much he reteaches me because I apparently wasn't paying attention the first time. I hope it's the same for you as you dive into these scriptures. I pray that God is revealing more and more of himself to you.

Now, on to Ephesians.

Ephesians 2:14

"For Christ himself has brought peace to us. He united Jews and Gentiles into one people when, in his own body on the cross, he broke down the wall of hostility that separated us."

To me, this verse speaks of a promise that has been fulfilled. It tells me that Christ promised peace to us and he has given us that peace in himself when he was on the cross. What a breathtaking picture. I know I've written before on here about how Christ is united with each believer. But this verse takes the theme of unity and pushes it further. Not only are we to be united to Christ, but we are also to be united to other believers. We are to live in peace with them. Hostility has no place in our relationships with other believers (really it has no place whatsoever, but especially in the context of relationships between believers).

Christ desires his church, his bride to be unified. To be of one mind. He even prayed for that:

"I am praying not only for these disciples but also for all who will ever believe in me through their message. I pray that they will all be one, just as you and I are one--as you are in me, Father, and I am in you. And may they be in us so that the world will believe you sent me."

John 17:20-21

How it must sadden him to see all the arguing and bickering that occurs in churches today. It wasn't his plan at all for it to be that way! How often do we take the petty little things and blow them up to huge proportions? Don't get me wrong. There are certain things that every Christian should believe. But too often we get caught up in preferences, in the nonessentials, that we miss the big picture: the world is supposed to be drawn to Christ through our love for each other (and them) and our unity.

How well are we doing drawing the world to Jesus?

Listening

2011-01-17T14:59:00.000-05:00

Since I moved down to Indiana, I've been to more sporting events then I've ever been to before, and in all honesty, I really haven't been to that many. But a question hit me this week as I watched my cousin's basketball team play: How do the players ever hear what the coach is yelling at them?

With all the cheering, the pep band, and the general loudness of a highschool basketball game, I could barely hear myself think. And if someone was trying to talk to me, it sometimes took more than once for me to understand what they were saying. And those were the people sitting right next to me. So I asked my cousin, Drew, how in the world he (and the team in general) can hear what the coach is yelling. And the gist of what he said was this (if I get anything wrong, Drew, you can correct me later!): He's learned his coach's voice. From all the time spent in practice and such, the players know their coach's voice. He's heard it so much, that it can break through the chaos that is a highschool basketball game. While Drew and I were talking, my cousin Marissa broke in and added this thought: that sometimes when she's playing, she can zone out the crowd and whatever else is happening, and zone in on her coach's voice and the action on the field.

So in order to hear their coaches' voices, it requires at least two things: learning what that voice sounds like and focusing on that voice.

Too often we complain about not being able to hear God's voice. Yet have we taken the time to learn his voice? Have we zoned out the rest of the world to focus in on his voice? A highschool basketball game is anything but quiet, yet the team can pick out their coach's voice. So it's not so much a matter of having the world around us quiet (though that certainly makes it easier), but rather learning what God's voice sounds like and focusing on it.

It requires time. I can't learn what God's voice sounds like unless I spend time in the quiet listening to him. I need to spend time in his word, in prayer, and just sitting in his presence listening. Because when the chaos of life hits, as I know it will, I need to be prepared. I can't learn his voice when I have a hundred other voices shouting at me. But if I take the time now, I can pick out his voice among those hundreds.

It requires diligence. It won't come overnight. It's something I have to work on, intentionally. I have to be intentional and diligent about learning his voice now. Sometimes it will be easier to ignore his voice, but it's always better to hear it.

It requires focus. I can't let other's voices distract me from what I know God is saying to me. I have to be able to focus on God's voice in the middle of the chaos. Because distractions are all around me, I need to zone out the world and zone in on God's voice.

But perhaps most importantly: It requires action. Knowing God's voice and focusing on it does me no good if I don't follow and obey what he tells me. Hearing and not doing is worse then not hearing at all.

"But the one who enters through the gate is the shepherd of the sheep. The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep recognize his voice and come to him. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. After he has gathered his own flock, he walks ahead of them, and they follow him because they know his voice. They won't follow a stranger; they will run from him because they don't know his voice....I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and they know me,...They will listen to my voice..."

John 10:2-5,14,16

Holy Hissyfits

2011-01-12T20:42:00.001-05:00

I'm tired. I could probably fall asleep at my computer right now if I really just gave up fighting it. But if I go to bed now, I'll wake up too early tomorrow and then the cycle will repeat. It's a no win situation. With all the snow we got yesterday, there wasn't even a 2 hour delay today. It was sad. I wanted more sleep and I didn't get it.

In other news, I'm going to be singing again. For those of you who don't know, I love music. And I love singing. Growing up I sang. I sang for church, for school, for fun. I took voice lessons and sang in the car. But when I graduated highschool, I stopped singing in front of people. There were several reasons for this, but I took a break. I still sang around the house and in the car and even did a couple of choirs, but I stopped with the performing and the worship leading. Now it looks like I'll be picking it back up again. I'm getting involved with the worship team at my church down in Indiana. It's been a long time since I've done this and I hope I still can. Especially since it could involve some harmony work and I've always struggled with harmony. As naturally as most music comes to me, harmony and I struggle with each other. I'm slightly terrified and cautiously excited. It will be an adventure for sure.

So. You remember how the verse I shared yesterday started out saying, (I'm paraphrasing now) "Come on, let's hash this out. Let's get to the bottom of this."? Or as I believe one translation/paraphrase said, "Come. Sit down. Let's argue this out." ? Well, that was me and God last night. And it was about what it's almost always about: being single. Still. There are days when I am perfectly okay, even enjoying, being single. And there are days when all I want to do it throw a hissyfit (is that one word or two?) about it. Yesterday was the latter. I can't even pinpoint what exactly set it off. I just know I was wanting to "argue this out". And argue I did. And I got to the same place I always get to, he's God, I'm not. Ultimately I want his plans and his timing, because I know deep down it's for the best. But perhaps what was most awesome was the verse my devotional was based upon last night:

"You can ask for anything in my name, and I will do it, so that the Son can bring glory to the Father."

John 14:13

Now I know this doesn't mean that I'll get exactly what I want if it's not in line with God's will and plan for me is, but this is what I do know from this: God is listening to me. He hears my heart's cry. He understands my frustration. And he's working it out so that whatever happens, will happen to bring glory to the Father. And that is way better than whatever I think my plans may be and whatever I think I may want. He knows. He hears. He understands. And his plan is best. Even in the midst of my "holy" hissyfits.

If all the snowflakes were candy bars and milkshakes...

2011-01-11T19:19:00.000-05:00

It's snowing here. Again. I think it snows almost everyday now. I'd show you pictures but once I got inside earlier I didn't want to go back out. Maybe tomorrow I'll take some. We actually got a few inches this time. All the kids (and a lot of the teachers) are hoping for a two hour delay tomorrow (or a snow day). Snow was wonderful when I was little. Now that I have to drive in it, it has lost some of it's appeal. But there is something about a world covered in white. It's breathtakingly beautiful. And as I sit here thinking about the snow (and about how I might go make myself a nice mug of hot chocolate), I am reminded of God's faithfulness and forgiveness.

"Come now, let's settle this," says the LORD. "Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them as white as snow. Though they are red like crimson, I will make them as white as wool."

Isaiah 1:18

I love the first part of this verse. Some of the other versions say let's discuss this, let's argue this out, let's settle the matter. How cool is that?!?! The Creator of the Universe invites us to dialogue with him, to hash this matter out. He wants us to understand this. He wants our hearts to grasp this knowledge. He wants us to realize the power of his forgiveness.

And as breathtakingly beautiful as the snow is, I have to say dialoguing with the very one who made the snow and who takes my sins and makes them as white as the snow is even more beautiful.

Beautifully pure. Beautifully forgiven. Beautifully HIS.

Randomness again...

2011-01-10T19:46:00.000-05:00

Today is a day that I have no idea what to write. I want to wait on Ephesians for when I have more time to write and work on my computer without the battery dieing. So. Here I am. Not quite sure what to write.

My cousin, Drew, suggested I write about him.

He helped me make his favorite Christmas cookies this year...the dough got all over his hands and he had quite the time trying to get it off!

So. Maybe a list of some things I'm thankful for?

Cookie making messes with cousins

Veggie Tales kicks

They are the best. I colored in a Veggie Tales coloring book earlier this week, listened to a Veggie Tales CD and looked up some more fun Veggie Tale songs on YouTube. No, I am not too old for this.

A computer that works and has WIFI

Laughter

Christmas Vacation

My sister and her boyfriend (and for the chance to take pictures of them)

And just life in general...and its crazy, messed up, Jesus filled happenings that make it so worth living.

The Road Through Ephesus... Inseparable Ephesians 2:13

2011-01-09T18:04:00.001-05:00

I'm back. I'm back in Indiana. I'm back to blogging. And I hope to not leave you for too long again. If I do, read the post below this to find out what you should do. I know it's been awhile but I want to jump back into Ephesians with you if that's okay. I'm pretty excited about this next verse and I hope you all are excited about this as well.

Ephesians 2:13

"But now you have been united with Christ Jesus. Once you were far away from God, but now you have been brought near to him through the blood of Christ."

This is good news. It's not dark or dreary. It's hope It's life. It's Jesus. My heart is happy and content after reading this. Realizing the truths in this verse, listening to Jesus whisper to me through this verse, makes my heart full. Look at the first part. "...you have been united with Christ Jesus." I looked up the word united, because if you know me, you know I have an obsession with words. And if you didn't already know, united comes from the Latin root meaning "one". Which is cool, because if you read it that way it says that we have become one with Christ Jesus. We're not just good friends. We are inseparable from Christ. People shouldn't be able to tell the difference between us. So cool. And so not how I live most of the time. I'm pretty sure that most people can see how I'm not like Jesus. Which is sad, because I want to be inseparable. I want people to look at me and think Jesus.

But the verse goes farther, it explains itself. Not only have we become one with Jesus, but we were far from God and through the blood of Jesus we have been brought close to him. Through Jesus. Not righteous living, not anything I've done (or haven't done), not through a religion, but through a relationship with God's Son. God's Son, who came down from heaven, lived as a perfect human, was beaten, bruised, and killed by crucifixion, and rose from the dead, did all of that for me. His blood brought us close to God. It wasn't through the perfect life he led. It wasn't through the sickness he healed. It wasn't through the mute he made speak. It was through the blood he shed on the cross.

How often I take that blood for granted. I forget what it cost Jesus to reconcile with me. Too often I treat this precious gift with disdain and ungratefulness. This week I want to remember the blood. The blood that Jesus shed for us. For me. I want to live in such a way this week that I remember what it cost to reconcile me with God and what it cost to make me and Jesus inseparable. As I heard today, the only lasting motivational influence is love, and what greater love has ever been displayed than that of Jesus' shed blood for me.

Let's live it.

Beginnings and Goals

2011-01-09T17:00:00.000-05:00

So, I've been rather lax in writing. I know. It's sad. During this new year I decided on three goals. So far I have not done well on any of them. I'm hoping to start fresh with this new week upon us. I decided that would be far better than waiting a whole year to try again. Anyways, here are my three goals this year:

1. Write/Journal more. This isn't in relation to my blog, but rather to my personal writing. By hand. I'm horrible at it. I want to get better. In fact, my original goal was to journal each day of 2011. Right now, I'm aiming for 4-5 times a week, which is a vast improvement over last year and the year before that. In fact, the current journal I'm using, which is less than half way used, I started in March of 2009. You do the math. So in faith, I bought 4 new journals.

2. Blog on a regular basis. I can't blog everyday. It doesn't work with my schedule. But I can blog more than I do now. Which, if you think about it, shouldn't be that hard since it's been about a month and a half since I blogged last. Let's say 2-3 times a week minimum. And if you don't see me blogging on here, you are free to send me comments to remind me that I made this goal. Maybe some accountability will help.

3. Dive deep into God's word. Yep. I don't want to do this just half way. And my track record this year has already been, well, non-existent for the most part. There's really two parts to this goal: my daily Bible reading/prayer/Jesus time and studying the Bible (which would happen a few hours at a time 1-2 times a week). I just bought this book and I'm excited about what it says:

But there are tools you need to study the Bible, so I also bought all of these books:

And you really can't see them all that well in the picture, but there's a lot. And I'm excited. And you should be excited for me. Just saying.

So, it's a new year. But even better, it's a new month, a new week, a new day, a new hour, a new minute, a new second, for me to start my goals. I love that God gives us so many chances for new beginnings.

The Road Through Ephesus... Hope Ephesians 2:12

2010-11-21T15:15:00.001-05:00

I am so excited to go home for Thanksgiving in a a few days! I am beyond ready to see family and friends and the metro Detroit area. It's really funny, because every time I drive home I am reminded how much of a Michigander I truly am. When I cross the border into Michigan, never mind that I still have about 2.5-3 hours left to drive, I become giddy with excitement because of that welcome to Michigan sign. It's wonderful. Not that Indiana isn't nice, but there's just something about Michigan. Probably because most of my family is there, but whatever the reason, I love it!

Anyways, let's jump back into Ephesians. I am so excited for this time with you. I have been fighting exhaustion for the past couple of days and this time of diving into the Word with you refreshes me so much. So, here we go!

Ephesians 2:12

"In those days you were living apart from Christ. You were excluded from citizenship among the people of Israel, and you did not know the covenant promises God had made to them. You lived in this world without God and without hope."

This verse seems to paint a pretty bleak picture doesn't it? But here's the good news: this was before we met Christ. This was our previous state. We were living without Christ and because of that we were living without hope in a world that so desperately needs hope to survive. We didn't know the first thing about the promises of God and what they meant to us. We didn't have a relationship with God. We had no hope.

I think that's the part of this verse that keeps hitting me over the head right now. We had no hope. We were living without God, going our own way, and because of that, we had no hope. We were hopeless, until we met Jesus. When we encountered Jesus and entered into a relationship with him, our whole lives were changed. We had hope. Suddenly, the world wasn't pushing us down and crushing the life out of us. There was a ray of light, a life line, a hope and his name was Jesus. I love that this verse directly relates us being without hope to us being without God. Because Jesus didn't just bring hope, he IS hope. He is our hope for the future and for now. What a beautiful promise!

But do we live like Jesus is our hope? Do our lives reflect that truth? Can a person who doesn't know me see that I live a hopeful life, a life that radiates Jesus? I think it is so easy for us to become hopeless and to not look any different than the world around us. If you just watch the news for a few minutes, it's easy to become discouraged. But that's where our hope in Jesus comes in. Jesus didn't promise to make everything better here on earth, right here and now, but we do have his promise that there is hope for the future. One day everything will be perfect again. One day our hope will be realized and seen. But for now, it takes faith in that hope. It takes faith in Jesus. That he will do what he has said he will do.

Let's keep our eyes focused on our hope this week.

The Road Through Ephesus...Affected Hearts Ephesians 2:11

2010-11-20T12:26:00.001-05:00

I'm back. FYI it's really hard to get back into the habit of writing and I really need to because it relieves so much stress to just sit and write about what God is teaching me. So I'll try to do better, and if I don't you all can yell at me on here so I'll come back and write.

So, I'm really glad that you have stuck with me even through this time. Let's jump back in together.

Ephesians 2:11

"Don't forget that you Gentiles used to be outsiders. You were called 'uncircumcised heathens' by the Jews, who were proud of their circumcision, even though it only affected their bodies and not their hearts."

I don't know if you all have ever been outsiders before, but it's not a lot of fun. Which is why I am so thankful that God's gift of salvation is for everyone now. And while we're never to forget that we were outsiders once, I think that we can all learn something from the Jews. They were so proud to be part of God's chosen people, yet that knowledge didn't affect their hearts. It didn't affect the way they lived their lives.

As Christians, how often does the knowledge of what God has done for us make us proud of the fact we're Christians, but we don't allow anything about it to shape our lives? Our lives should be affected by the work God is doing in our lives. Knowledge isn't enough. Too often just knowledge can lead to major problems. If you don't act on that knowledge, you are worse off than someone who doesn't have that same knowledge.

I haven't told a lot of people this, but my best friend and I are memorizing the book of James together. I'm finished with chapter one, but can I tell you the biggest fear I had going into this? Simply that I would memorize all these words, but that's as far as they would go. I was afraid that I would not allow them to change my life and the way I acted. It's still a big fear. How is my life going to change because of what I memorize? How will I let it affect my life? Just knowing what God says is not enough, you have to do it You have to obey. I have to obey. Seriously, go read James 1:22-25 (Yes, I'm giving you homework :-)

This week, this month, for the rest of our lives, let's let our knowledge of God, his commandments, and his words change the way we live. Let's let it affect our hearts. Let's be different than the Jews. It's time to let go of the pride and allow God's life changing words to truly do that, to truly change our lives.

15 years...

2010-11-19T16:24:00.000-05:00

15 years ago today was the day my journey with Jesus began. The last 15 years haven't all been the best of me following Jesus. In fact, there were some times when I downright turned away. But through everything, Jesus has been faithful, even when I haven't. Words are not adequate to explain the joy I feel today as I reflect on the last 15 years. I can't believe it's been that long, and yet it seems longer at times.

I would not be the woman I am today without the work Jesus has been doing and is doing in my life.

Thank you Jesus. For saving me, leading me, loving me, molding me, pursuing me, changing me, convicting me, and knowing me. I love you.

The Road Through Ephesus...Masterpiece with a Purpose Ephesians 2:10

2010-11-02T20:55:00.001-04:00

So I am sick once again. Head colds are horrible! But I was so excited when I read the next verse in Ephesians last night that I just had to post anyway. So bear with me if this doesn't make a lot of sense, I am fighting the fog.

Let's just jump right in, my brain isn't understanding "small talk".

Ephesians 2:10

"For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago."

Wow. Read that verse and just let it soak into your heart. You are God's masterpiece. I wanted to look up that word to make sure I understood what it meant. Here's the definition I found, "a person's greatest work..." (dictionary.com). You are God's greatest creation. The icing on the cake. The grand finale. The pinnacle. You are a masterpiece. If that doesn't just thrill your heart, I don't know what will. And then look at what follows: the reason we are God's masterpiece. "He has created us anew in Christ Jesus,..." We are no longer disfigured from sin; we are created new. We are now to look like Jesus. When God looks at us he sees Jesus. How amazing is that?

And then the reason we are made new: "so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago." Wow. He created us with a purpose. He had a plan way before time began that involved you. To me, that literally screams his love for me. The creator of the universe had a plan for me. Not just for the human race but for ME. I'm not a number on a list. I'm not just "that girl with the dark brown hair and eyes". I'm not just one in 6 billion. I was thought of before time began. God put together a plan for me and my life way before I was born. I was created for a purpose: to do the will of the one who created me.

Do I live out this purpose? Do you live out this purpose? Is every day a day that we wake up and say, "What good things do you want me to do today Jesus?" How do you live out your purpose every day? I know that all too often I forget that I have a purpose. Instead, I fret and moan and complain about the situations in my life that I don't understand. When what I should be doing is the good works that God has prepared and planned for me to do. When what I should be doing is encouraging, uplifting, and serving. It means that I have to take my eyes off myself and put them back on my savior. What a challenge for all of us to truly live like this. To live like we have a purpose every moment of every day.

Let's live like we have a purpose.

The Road Through Ephesus... Salvation Boasting Ephesians 2:9

2010-11-01T17:27:00.001-04:00

I have a new computer!! The repairs took so long that they decided to just give me a new one! So hopefully now I'll get back in the habit of writing. I have missed it, contrary to one might think by my lack of posts. But anyways, I'm really excited to jump right back into this with you! You have no idea how much I love diving into Ephesians with you... it is sometimes the best part of my week... I get to spend some time with Jesus and all the lovely people out there who read this (who I don't even know, because apparently my blog is read internationally! Who would of thunk?)

So, Ephesians. Yay! So excited!

Ephesians 2:9

"Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it."

I don't know about you, but this verse gives me so much hope. I am so glad that my salvation is not dependent on what I do or don't do. But how often do my actions reflect that truth? Seriously, do I live my life like nothing I do can increase or decrease God's love for me? Or do I still act like I can make God love me more? Which in my head I know is rather ridiculous. I mean, just look at this verse. It lays out exactly what God thinks about that subject, yet, there are times, more often than not, that I do things to try and gain God's favor. But you can't gain something you already have.

Which is why this verse is both life giving and convicting. It's why my heart beats a little faster when I read it. Because it's not that I don't have to do anything to earn salvation, it's that I can't. I can never be good enough, spiritual enough, or righteous enough to earn anything. Look at how Isaiah says it, "...When we display our righteous deeds, they are nothing but filthy rags...." (Isaiah 64:6b). My righteous deeds mean nothing. They are still dirty in God's sight. But that's the amazing part. That's why we need a Savior. That's why we need Jesus. Because he makes us righteous and holy.

And we can't boast about it, because we had nothing to do with it. All we can boast about is Jesus, and what Jesus did for us on the cross. Which, if you ask me, is something pretty amazing to be telling people.

1 Corinthians 1:31

"Therefore, as the Scriptures say, "If you want to boast, boast only about the Lord."

So this week, let's boast about Jesus. About his amazing grace. About his extravagant love. About the beauty of his redemption. About the glory of the cross. Jesus is the only one worthy to be boasted about.

The Road Through Ephesus... Saving Gift Ephesians 2:8

2010-10-12T19:41:00.001-04:00

I love fall. I love the colors, the coolness in the air, and the bonfires. When the weather starts to turn a little cooler and I can wear my jeans and sweatshirts, I fall into an instant good mood. Summer's funa and all, but nothing beats fall. I realize that I haven't posted on the Ephesians portion of this blog for awhile now. I still don't have my laptop back, and it just meant that I had to set up everything again when I finally got a loaner laptop (they had already had my computer for 4 weeks at that point... it'll be 6 this Saturday). But, I am back, for now at least (this loaner seems to be rather tempermental at times).

So without further ado, let's jump back into Ephesisans 2!

Ephesisans 2:8

"God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can't take credit for this; it is a gift from God."

Allow this verse to penetrate the walls of your heart. Let it resonate within you. This is what our realtionship with God really all comes down to. "God saved..." Really you could stop the verse there and be done. It pretty much sums everything up and it's a complete sentence. Because that's really what's important here... "God saved..." I love that this verse starts with what God does. I love that it could technically end there too, but it doesn't. God explains. Because, let's face it, us humans can be down right dense at times. Sometimes it takes reiteration of the point for it to sink in (and even then it can take us awhile to grasp it). And since I love to look at synonoms to further understand, check this out: God rescued, God delivered, God redeemed, God reclaimed, God restored, God bailed out, God liberated, God unshackeled, God salvaged, God saved... Wow. The picture that all those words together paints is breath-taking. Do you see it? Is your heart as enthralled as mine is?

What makes my heart beat even faster is the who he did this for... now add the next word of the verse onto all those synonoms for saved: God resuced YOU, God delivered YOU, God redeemed YOU, God reclaimed YOU, God restored YOU, God bailed out YOU, God liberated YOU, God unshackeled YOU, God salvaged YOU. Doesn't that make your heart beat just a little bit faster with the knowledge of how much God loves you?

The last part of this verse makes me aboslutely giddy: "...it is a gift from God." I don't know about you, but I love gifts. Birthday gifts (which is happening soon), Christmas gifts, gifts for absolutely no particular reason... I love them all. And I don't know about you, but usually I only give gifts to people I really care about. If you're not that important to me, you usually don't get a gift (as always there are exceptions). But think about God's gift in that light. You are important to God, so he gave you this gift of salvation. Wow.

But what are you doing with this gift he's given you? What am I doing with this gift he's given me? Am I living my life as if I have been given a precious and priceless treasure (which I have been)? Or do I treat it like the kid who opens up underwear on Christmas morning? Do we treasure this gift or do we let it sit in the top of our closets for years because we feel we have no use for it?

Sadly, too often, I think that I take this gift for granted. I don't live like the gift I've been given is precious to me. Too often I live my life on my terms without regard to the gift that God has given me.

What about you? How are you living? This week, together, let's live with a constant gratitude for the gift God has given.

Life...

2010-10-04T20:32:00.000-04:00

I haven't had a computer for the past few weeks because it's been in for repairs. It's still in for repairs, but they finally gave me a loaner after my dad called and yelled at them :-) So when I finally get my computer back the repair shop will have had it longer than I did. This is sad. Very sad.

My thoughts have been all jumbled up for the past few weeks. I can't process without writing. And it's way easier to type than to write by hand, though I have resorted to that a few times to keep from screaming. So, now here I am. Hands on the keyboard. Processing emotions. Processing life. Hanging on to my sanity. I have missed this. Tonight I just have the urge to write. I feel like if I don't, I'll explode. And I don't have time to do that since I have to work tomorrow.

Since I haven't had a computer for the last four weeks, this post might be totally and completely random. Deal with it.

I went home this past weekend. It was Heritage's Grand Opening service. And it was amazing. There are seriously no words to describe what God is doing through and in that church. I miss it so much. I think when I came back to Indiana, I left part of my heart in Michigan. I wanted to minister there with everyone else and see what God is doing there. I want to be a part of it in the day to dayness of it all. So coming back to Indiana was hard. But then, on my way home, I saw the coolest thing. And it had God's fingerprints literally all over it. I was driving along and had made it to about the Michigan Indiana border when it started raining a bit. But then, I just glance over to my left and I see a rainbow. I was so excited about that! But as I continued driving the rainbow became stronger and stronger. It was literally the brightest, most vibrant rainbow I have ever seen. And then the second one appeared. Yes, it was a double rainbow! And you could at one point see the whole span of the first rainbow. I have never seen anything like it. It was God telling me that it was okay. He understood where my heart wanted to be, but his promises were still good in Indiana and that's where he has placed me for now. It was awesome.

Then I was about a half hour out from my Indiana home when I got a call from my aunt telling me that her friend's son wanted to know if I wanted to go to a college group with him to meet some people. It would start about the time I would get back. Now normally I would have said no, I needed some time to relax and recoup before work the next day. Instead, before I really had time to process what I was doing, I said yes. I hung up the phone wondering what I had just done. I had gotten up early for church and had been driving for several hours, I really did not think I had the energy to go to this event, but now I was committed. Well, I just have to tell you that I am so glad I did. I met some really cool people who wanted to get to know me. I felt like I fit with this group, like I belonged. I felt like I had come home. It was wonderful. Even if I didn't get home until 11 and I think my hair still might smell like bonfire smoke. It was worth it.

My great great aunt is in the hospital. They've given her less than 24 hours to live at this point. Her blood pressure is so low that they can't even get a reading on it when they tried to take it. She's almost 92 years old and an amazing woman of faith. Part of my heart is just breaking over this news. Another part is happy that she won't be in any more pain, that she'll see her husband again, and that she'll see Jesus face to face. But my heart hurts at the same time for the fact that we won't be seeing her for much longer. I remember cooking with her up at her cottage. I helped her and my great grandma (her sister) make fried chicken... and let me tell you, it was the best chicken I have ever had!

I'm working through emotions and what seems to be coming in the near future. And then I'm working through the daily emotions I have. Working with these high school students on a daily basis makes my heart break and rejoice all at the same time. It breaks for what these kids are going through and that they don't know Jesus. It rejoices over small victories: relationship building with them and good test grades. I never thought I would say this, but I think these students have stolen my heart. And that makes the pain and joy all the greater.

Sadly, I have to sign off for now, because my loaner computer is about to die. But I promise it won't be this long again before I write again.

The Road Through Ephesus... Living Billboards Ephesians 2:7

2010-08-30T20:24:00.001-04:00

It's really warm here today. Like in the 90s warm. I much prefer it to be cooler than it currently it and am hoping that the temp drops a little for the rest of the week. Anyways. We are 5.6% done with the school year as of today. There are days when I don't know if that is depressing or exciting. But I'm going to try to look at it as a positive thing.

But enough about the weather and school... those are some pretty boring subjects. Instead let's get started with some more Ephesians!!

Ephesians 2:7

"So God can point to us in all future ages as examples of the incredible wealth of his grace and kindness towards us, as shown in all he has done for us who are united with Christ Jesus."

I don't know about you, but I love people examples. I love people who I can look up to or who I can point out to others as someone they can look up to. I love watching people live out their faith and knowing that they're looking a little bit like Jesus right then and there. But even more that looking at other people as examples, I love being an example. I love knowing that the way that I choose to love God and express that love for him may be pointing others a little closer to Jesus. That's one of the reasons I think this verse is so cool. God uses us as examples! He has poured our an incredible wealth of grace and kindness and then uses us as examples for all future people to point out his extravagance. We are walking billboards for the goodness of God. Everything that God did for us in fusing us with Christ is an example of his goodness and mercy.

That is what is so cool about our stories. Each one of us has a unique and personal story of our lives. But the one thing that they should all have in common if we are followers of Christ, is that they should all point to God's mercy, grace, kindness, and redemption. Our lives are to be examples of the goodness of our God.

But even as I type this, I have to wonder if my life is being an accurate "billboard" for God's grace towards us. While I may have experienced it in my own life, an example or a "billboard" is meant to be shared. It's not meant to be kept to yourself. You can't be an example to anyone if you don't let people see what God has done in your life. So that's the questions I keep coming back to. Is my life a living example, a living billboard of God's grace and mercy, his kindness and mercy?

What about your life? Do people look at you and see evidence of the goodness of God? Or do you hide what God is doing in your life from the people around you?

Let's be those living billboards.

The Road Through Ephesus... Fused Ephesians 2:6

2010-08-28T16:48:00.001-04:00

I love Saturdays. I love sleeping in and just taking some time to relax and be refreshed. I hate when Saturdays become super busy with a million and one things to do and places to run to. I much prefer a Saturday with friends and family where I can let down my guard, share my heart, laugh, live, and be known. It's truly a glorious thing. But enough about how much I love Saturdays, for if I keep talking about how much I love Saturdays I shell spend my entire Saturday trying to blog and never have a chance to relax.

So let's jump in!

Ephesians 2:6

"For he raised us from the dead along with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ Jesus."

Look at this verse. Let it roll around in your mind for a few seconds, minutes, hours, days... After God himself gave us CPR, he seated us with Christ in heaven. We are right next to him. But perhaps even more cool than that is the next part of the verse: "...because we are united with Christ Jesus." That part just gives me chills. Seriously, I don't know that I have words to describe what that part of the verse does to my heart. And a big part of it has to do with one word: united. I wanted to make sure I understood what this word meant so I looked it up on dictionary.com. Here's a few of the definitions: made into or caused to act as a single entity, agreed, in harmony, to join, combine, or incorporate so as to form a single whole or unit, to be joined by or as if by adhesion. And then perhaps my favorite synonym that pops us for the word unite: fuse.

The thoughts those words conjure are breathtaking. After God gave us mouth to mouth, we were united with Christ. We were fused together. We should act like a single entity. We are joined by something stronger that super glue. We are one with Christ. That is what that word united means. Our days of self are over. From now on, we should think, act and be little Christ's. We no longer continue with our own desires and thoughts, ambitions and plans. We are fused. Everything about us should scream to the world that we are united with Christ. Everything about us should point to Jesus.

This has been one of my prayers this past week. That as I live out my daily life among these high school students, my faith would be on my sleeve. That everything I say and do would proclaim Jesus to these kids. I want these kids to be able to tell from my life, my words, and the way I respond to others that I am fused to Christ.

What about you? Can the world tell that you are bonded to Christ? Do you wear your faith on your sleeve or is it something that people don't know for sure where you stand on? Can people tell when they look at you that your life, your words, your actions, the way you respond to others are the same as what Jesus would do? Because they should be able to do that. For we are no longer free to pursue our own wills. We were bought with a heavy price. We are united with Christ. We are one entity. And the world needs to see that.

The Road Through Ephesus... Dead Man Walking Ephesians 2:4-5

2010-08-26T18:35:00.001-04:00

I didn't post again yesterday. That makes me sad. But the day really got away from me. I got to go on a field trip yesterday and I got very wet. Soaked actually. We went rafting (don't worry I didn't go crazy, it wasn't white water rafting... just down a river and across a lake rafting, almost like canoeing (is that a word?) but with more people). My raft liked to splash other rafts and so they splashed back. Unfortunately, I was unarmed due to the fact that I was interpreting and just kept getting wet without being able to do anything back. But while I was on this trip I realized something. Oh, I guess I should tell you that I was also a chaperone for the trip. So back to what I realized. I realized that I actually kind of like high school students. Now, if you don't know me very well you might be going..."So, what's the big deal?" The big deal is this. When I was a high school student and the first couple of years of college, I really didn't like high school students. They annoyed me. But now, after yesterday, I can honestly say that these kids are really important to me. And what I overhear in the classroom, in the hallways, and on the bus to the field trip, makes my heart break. I spent a whole study hall period today just praying for these students that were in my raft and in the classes I go to. I want them to know Jesus. I want them to know how much they are worth in God's eyes. I want them to experience his life changing power, his mercy, his grace, his forgiveness. Just be praying for me and these kids this year. I really want Jesus to take hold of these kids' lives and I'm really praying about what my part in that looks like.

After that really long introduction, what do you say we jump into Ephesians? I know I really need to hear God's words tonight.

Ephesians 2:4-5

"But God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so much, that even though we were dead because of our sins, he gave us life when he raised Christ from the dead. (It is only by God's grace that you have been saved!)"

I love the picture of the richness of God as it relates to the expression of his mercy and love. Because of our sins, we were dead. Our hearts had stopped beating. We were stone cold. But God, in his never-ending love and mercy, breathed life into us. He took what seemed impossible and made it possible. He bridged the gap between God and man and in doing so brought us back to life. He literally did CPR on us when He raised Christ from the dead. What an awesome picture that is!!!

I also love the second part of that verse. The only way to salvation is through God's grace. If not for God's grace, salvation would not exist. How powerful is that! I am so thankful that I serve a God like that! As I think about working with these high school students, the last part of the verse takes on even more meaning. It's only God who can bring these kids to himself. Can he choose to use me in that process? Yes. Does their salvation depend on or rest in me? By no means. God began this work and God will complete it. He just chooses to use his children to further his kingdom. God's passion and heart for these kids goes way further than mine or anyone else's. His heart longs for them, desires them, and breaks for them. Even now he is calling them. I just can't wait to see how I get to be a part of that!

What about you? What sticks out in this verse to you? Is it the picture of being dead and being brought to life? Or is it the way that it's only by God's grace that we are saved? Or is it something else entirely? Comment and let me know. This is just what has been on my heart lately. Now I want to hear yours.

The Road Through Ephesus...History Ephesians 2:3

2010-08-24T19:39:00.001-04:00

So. Yesterday I didn't post. Sorry about that. I was reading a good book and then I had some prep work that I needed to do for work today and sadly by the time I finished that, there was just enough time to spend some time with Jesus before I fell into bed (so what if I fell into bed a little before 10 pm... when you have to get up early, you're tired at 8:30 pm...). The book I was reading is one of those books that has two books in one. I finished the first one earlier and started the second one. I'm taking a break from it now though, because I'm tired of crying (it's sad... one of the main characters dies). So now I'm sitting here, talking to you. And I am so ready to jump back into Ephesians!! So let's just do it.

Ephesians 2:3

"All of us used to live that way, following the passionate desires and inclinations of our sinful nature. By our very nature we were subject to God's anger, just like everyone else."

The last few verses have all been talking about our past. What we were like before Christ. They have been talking about our history. Now I don't know about you, but I love history. I love to study it, learn about it, visit historical sights, dress up in time period appropriate clothing...if it has something to do with history, I probably enjoy doing it. So this verse starts off talking about our history, how we used to live. It shares that we used to live by following the passionate desires and inclinations of our sinful nature. In other words, we were full out devoted to sin. It doesn't matter if you think that you really weren't that bad of a person before you knew Christ, because without Christ, your life was consumed fully by your sinful nature. It was fully consumed by pride and self-centeredness. We were just like everyone else. God was angry at our sin.

But what I love about history, is that you can take the past and learn from it. It teaches you. When you came to Christ, you didn't amputate your history. Your history will always be your history. But the amazing thing about history is that it's useful (I know, I know, some of you students would argue with me on that point). History explains why things happen. You want to know why the Middle East is in such an uproar and Israel is in the middle of it all? Look at history. You want to understand why the Cuban Missile Crisis occurred? Check out history.

Your personal history is useful too. It's a constant reminder that you don't want to go back to the way you were before Christ. But it's also a constant reminder of how far God has brought you. God never wastes your history. You may think that it's full of brokenness, sin, and disappointments, but God will use it. He will use it in your own life. He will use it in the lives of the people around you. He will use it. Because while you can't outrun your history, you are not defined by it. You are not who you where. You were bought with a high price. You are worth something. You are chosen by the Creator of the Universe and he knows your name! You have immense value and nothing you have done in your past can change that, but maybe your past (and present) could help change someone's future by bringing them a little closer to Jesus.

We all need reminders of who God is and where his mercy has brought us. Because his mercy has changed us. I want to leave you with the words to one of my favorite songs by Point of Grace. It's called Heal The Wound. Here are the lyrics:

I used to wish that I could rewrite history
I used to dream that each mistake could be erased
Then I could just pretend
I never knew me back then

I used to pray that You would take this shame away
Hide all the evidence of who I've been
But it's the memory of
The place You brought me from
That keeps me on my knees
And even though I'm free

Heal the wound but leave the scar
A reminder of how merciful You are
I am broken, torn apart
Take the pieces of this heart
And heal the wound but leave the scar

I have not lived a life that boasts of anything
I don't take pride in what I bring
But I'll build an altar with
The rubble that You've found me in
And every stone will sing
Of what You can redeem

Heal the wound but leave the scar
A reminder of how merciful You are
I am broken, torn apart
Take the pieces of this heart
And heal the wound but leave the scar

Don't let me forget
Everything You've done for me
Don't let me forget
The beauty in the suffering

Heal the wound but leave the scar
A reminder of how merciful You are
I am broken, torn apart
Take the pieces of this heart
And heal the wound but leave the scar

The Road Through Ephesus... Different Ephesians 2:2

2010-08-22T16:42:00.001-04:00

I realize it has been quite some time since I posted on Ephesians. All I can say is life has been crazy and I needed a break from writing and deadlines. Between VBS, moving, and starting a new job, I became exhausted and in need of time to myself. But now I'm back. Hoping to get back into the routine of writing. I hope you'll stick with me as we continue to dive into Ephesians... So let's jump.

Ephesians 2:2

"You used to live in sin, just like the rest of the world, obeying the devil-- the commander of the powers in the unseen world. He is the spirit at work in the hearts of those who refuse to obey God."

Just let that sink in for a moment. Before, we were just like the rest of the world. We obeyed the devil and refused to obey God. I hope that you caught that before we were just like the rest of the world. We used to be like them but now, because of the work Jesus did on the cross. Because of the reconciliation that can occur between God and man, followers of Jesus are supposed to be different.

We shouldn't continue to act like or think like the rest of the world. We should not be living in sin. We should be different, changed, transformed. Check out the way Paul states this in his book to the Romans:

Romans 12:2

"Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect."

People should be able to look at the way we act and the activities we participate in and know we're different. They should be able to see living, breathing, imitations of Christ walking around among them. Sadly, too often we all tend to look a little like to world. I know that there are times when I look at myself and wonder what's so different about me compared to the rest of the world. Because I know Jesus, I should be different. But often my actions and life don't reflect that.

What about you? Are you still refusing to obey God and obeying the devil in some part of your life? Can people look at you and tell that there is something different about you, or do they look at you and think, "Oh, she's a Christian?!? She doesn't act any different than I do. Why should I be a Christian?" Is the way you live your life different than the way the rest of the world lives their's?

Let's be different. Let's be the oddball, the anti conformist, and the peculiar ones. Because if we aren't different, how will the world see that they need Jesus?

Update on Life...

2010-08-17T20:25:00.002-04:00

I haven't written in a while but I wanted to give you all a little update on life in general. This will not be a continuation of the Ephesians blog (hopefully that will start back up again soon), but rather an up date of what God has been doing in my life lately.

As much as I would like to start this big long back story, I think I'll first state the simple fact that I have moved to Indiana. Now, you may be asking yourself, "Why did she move to Indiana?" Well let me tell you.

It all started almost three weeks ago on the Wednesday of VBS week (July 27). Well, I guess it really started the day before. My aunt and uncle called to let me know about a job opportunity in Warsaw Indiana as a Sign Language Interpreter in the local high school. I wasn't home (I was actually at work) so my mom had them email me the ad. I looked at the ad and realized that I qualified for the position and decided to apply for the job, thinking there is no way on God's green earth that I will get this job. I have no experience and I just graduated. But oh, how God works.

Wednesday I applied for the job. The application was online and took around an hour to fill out and get a cover letter together. 40 minutes later I had a call for an interview. Because I couldn't get down to Warsaw as quickly as they needed to interview me, they decided to interview me over skype. The interview was then scheduled for 8 am that Friday (July 30).

The interview happened. It wasn't anything spectacular and I really wasn't sure how it went or if I really even wanted the job if I was offered it. I was completely and utterly confused and spent the next little while in tears (when I'm stressed or confused, I cry). By Sunday I had come to the conclusion that I really did not want to live in Warsaw Indiana. Though part of me was still very confused. I really wanted God's direction. That night I went to Lighthouse at Woodside and the message was specifically for me. The songs were each directed directly at my heart. The funny thing was, the lead guitar player and the one leading worship had a finger in a splint so he had had to change all the songs they were going to do to songs that didn't use that finger in any chords. God is really cool like that. By the end of the service I knew that I was going to Indiana (if I was offered the job).

Monday was okay. Tuesday things started to go a little down hill. I really just kept praying for peace and the thing I kept hearing God say to my heart was this: "Don't worry, pray. Take your eyes off yourself and put them on me. Then you will have peace. Put your eyes on me." Unfortunately, I didn't quite heed that and instead kept worrying about it. So the next few days were rough emotionally. By Thursday I was doing better about keeping my eyes on God. Which was a good thing since that evening I received the job offer. After crying over the phone to family and friends, I accepted the job on Friday.

Long story short, I moved down here this past Sunday and just finished my first day at a public high school.

I'm sorry if some of this doesn't make sense. I went to post it originally and blogger crashed on me and didn't save the full post in my drafts.

The Road Through Ephesus... Alive Ephesians 2:1

2010-07-15T19:52:00.003-04:00

Wow. Ephesians chapter 2. In some ways I thought we would never get here. In others I feel like we just started this journey. I'm curious to hear from you... what have you learned as you continually dive into Ephesians? I hope you're diving in for yourself and not just relying on what I have to say.

Okay, so let's jump right into chapter 2.

Ephesians 2:1

"Once you were dead because of your disobedience and your many sins."

At first read there doesn't seem to be much good news in this verse. Our disobedience and many sins have caused our death. But here's the good news. This verse is talking about our past. This verse is talking about us without Christ. The verse says that "Once [we] were dead..." That implies that now we're alive! Our death was caused by our disobedience and sin. Our death was one that separated us from God.

Now we are alive. Our life is in Christ. Our life was bought by Christ's death. He died so that we no longer had to live a life of death and separation from God. We have life in Christ.

Mark 10:45

"For even the Son of Man came... to give his life as a ransom for many."

Jesus came to save our lives. To buy us out of death. To purchase our freedom. To ransom us from captivity. Our former state of death has, through Christ, been transformed into life.

I like how Colossians 2:13 says it: "You were dead because of your sins and because your sinful nature was not yet cut away. Then God made you alive with Christ, for he forgave all our sins."

God has made us alive! What are you doing to live like it? How are you living this life you have been given? Or are you still living like you're dead, caught in the trappings of sin and disobedience? Let's walk away from acting like zombies and start living the new life we've been given in Christ.

The Road Through Ephesus... Representatives Ephesians 1:23

2010-07-14T20:19:00.004-04:00

It's been a while since I've written. I took my normal crazy two days off and on the second on those two days I started getting sick. I your run of the mill cold, but when I get a cold, I can't think. My brain, along with my nose, gets stuffy. So it's taken me almost a week to finish chapter 1. But here we are, the last verse of Ephesians 1. It's hard to believe, but don't worry, we still have 5 more chapters and over 100 verses left! Let's jump in!

Today I'm quoting from the Message because I love the wording.

Ephesians 1:23

"The church is Christ's body, in which he speaks and acts, by which he fills everything with his presence."

We are Christ's body. Do you see that? We represent Christ. We are the way he speaks and acts. We are his hands. His feet. His voice. We are his physical representatives here on earth. We are his comforting arms. His helping hands. His soothing voice. Isn't that amazing?!? We have such an awesome responsibility. We are called to be little Christs. Pictures of his love, justice, and kindness. We need to become replicas of him, so people can't tell the difference between us. By our acting like Christ, people should be pointed to Christ.

But that's not where the verse ends. No, it continues saying, "...by which he fills everything with his presence." Christ chooses to use us. We are the vessels he chooses to use to further his presence. We are the ones that he chooses to use to bring others to him. How cool is that?

Our task is not easy. It's not effortless. We are called to become like Christ. To imitate him in all we do. Do your actions reflect that truth? I know all too often mine don't. All to often, I become more concerned about myself, more preoccupied with my comfort, and more distracted by my fear, then I do about the things of God. It sounds cliche, but how about asking, "What would Jesus do?" or maybe, "How would Jesus react?". Perhaps the best question, the one that we all can ask ourselves everyday is, "How can I look a little more like Jesus today?". And no, I don't mean walking around in robes and sandals. I'm not talking about the literal sense. But rather, how is your character, your actions and reactions, your daily life, looking more like Jesus today?

Let's look like Jesus.

The Road Through Ephesus... Authority Ephesians 1:22

2010-07-08T18:54:00.004-04:00

I never thought I would be excited by mid 80s temps, but I have to say I am very much looking forward to it :-) It has to be better than temperatures that feel like the 100s. But enough chit chat, do you realize we're almost done with the first chapter?!?! Only two more verses and we're finished with the first chapter! I can't believe how much I've learned so far, and I hope it's the same with you. So let's dive in to today's verse!

Ephesians 1:22

"God has put all things under the authority of Christ and has made him head over all things for the benefit of the church."

As much as I enjoy being a leader at times, I have to admit that I am very thankful that I am not ultimately in charge. That would be overwhelming and disastrous. Instead everything is under the authority of Christ. I love that! And it's not just some things. It's everything. People, places, things, the physical realm, the spiritual realm, all things are under Christ's authority. That can be both a comforting and frightening thought, can't it? Frightening because it means that every single person will have to answer for what he or she has done. Comforting because it means that we're not in control, we're don't have to have all the answers.

Perhaps the best part of this verse is the last part. It's the why. Why did God put everything under Christ's control? Do you see the last part of that verse?!? It's for our benefit. For the church's benefit. Christ's authority is not a rigid dictatorship. Rather it's a an authority of love. It's an authority for our benefit. For the benefit of his people.

As thankful as I am that I'm not in charge, it can sometimes be hard to give up what control I think I have. Yet, nothing is truly under my control. And everything is under Christ's control.

So here's to surrendering to Christ's authority. Are you with me?

The Road Through Ephesus... Leading Ephesians 1:21

2010-07-07T16:28:00.005-04:00

I am so very thankful for air conditioning. There is a definite reason I am from the north. I like warm, breezy, balmy days and nights with just a hint of a chill. It's probably the reason fall is my favorite season. I love sweaters ans sweatshirts and jeans... but alas, I digress. This is what happens when it's almost 100 degrees outside. I lose focus quickly :-) So before I continue on this rabbit trail why don't we jump in?

Ephesians 1:21

"Now he is far above any ruler or authority or power or leader or anything else-- not only in this world but also in the world to come."

I am so thankful that I know who's really in charge. With all the turmoil, the natural disasters and man-made ones, the sickness, and just plain evil in the world, I am so thankful that the human leaders we see around us are not the leaders that have the final authority. More and more I'm coming to realize that only God has any real power. And frankly, that's amazing. Only Christ has the power to heal, to forgive, to bring life. Only Christ and his power.

Does this mean that human leaders have no purpose? By no means! Leaders are needed. Perhaps even more so, Godly leaders are needed. For all the leaders in this life will answer to the ultimate leader, the ultimate authority, the ultimate power, Jesus Christ.

There's a bit of a leader in all of us. In highschool, I wouldn't have said that. I didn't believe that I was a leader. I didn't want to lead. And then something happened. I was put in situations where I had to lead. And I did. More and more, I'm starting to see myself as a leader. It's not easy. There are days I would rather give the job to someone else. But still, I've been called to lead. You've been called to lead. Maybe not in the same capacities as I have, but you are still called to lead. Whether you are leading a ministry, a family, a group of friends, or on the job, you are a leader. But guess what?!?! The pressure is off! Because you are still under someone else's leadership. You still have someone to answer to, someone to gain wisdom and guidance from, someone to turn to when you are completely overwhelmed by the leadership task set before you. You still have Jesus in authority of you, leading you. Wow.

And it's not only in this world that Jesus has the final ultimate authority, but also in the next. Wow. What a comfort! It's not up to you! You have the charge to follow Jesus, your leader, as you lead others. You have the charge to be the most like Jesus in your leading as you can be. And if you are ultimately letting Jesus lead you, then you will be the kind of leader he wants you to be.

Let's lead. Let's follow the ultimate leader: Jesus Christ.

The Road Through Ephesus... The Power of Christ Ephesians 1:19-20

2010-07-06T09:20:00.004-04:00

Sorry for the long hiatus. Two weeks ago we did VBS down in Detroit and I was usually going right from work to home and then leaving again for VBS... it was a crazy, exhausting week, but a wonderful one as well. There were just not enough hours in the day to blog as well. And then the Saturday after the VBS finished I left for Orlando to visit my best friend who's doing an internship down there this summer. I didn't have internet access while down there so I couldn't keep up with blogging again. By the time I got home, it was the holiday weekend and I needed to recuperate from my vacation. But here I am once again. Are you as ready to jump into this as I am?!?!

Ephesians 1:19-20

"I also pray that you will understand the incredible greatness of God's power for us who believe him. This is the same mighty power ² that raised Christ from the dead and seated him in the place of honor at God's right hand in the heavenly realms."

This is amazing to me. Paul is praying that people will understand the incredible greatness of God's power. Do you or I truly understand the incredible greatness of God's power? Do we truly comprehend it? Does this truth even begin to penetrate our thick skulls? Because it's not just that God's power is incredibly great, it's also that it's for us who believe him. That incredible greatness of God's power is meant for us. It is meant to work in our lives. God's power is in US. Does that just blow your mind?!? Because if it doesn't consider how awesome that power is with the next part of the verse: "This is the same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead..."

Do you see it? The power that is in you is the power that raised Christ from the dead. The power that is in you took death and made life. The power that is in you conquered death forever. That's how awesome God's power is. And the best part is it's in you. That same power can transform your life and bring your deadened heart back to life.

It reminds me of this verse in Philippians 4:13 "For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength." That strength that comes from Christ is the same strength that raised Christ from the dead. That strength is in you.

Wow. It causes me to wonder if I live like I have God's strength in me. Do I live like I have the life-changing power of Christ in me? The power that can raise the dead back to life? What about you? Do you live in that power? Do you live like God has given you the power?

Let's live it.

The Road Through Ephesus... Shine Ephesians 1:18

2010-06-17T20:40:00.004-04:00

Today has been a long day. I got sent home early from work because I wasn't feeling well and now I have a doctor's appointment in the morning. Seriously not how I wanted to spend my day. But now on to some good news.

Ephesians 1:18

"I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the confident hope he has given to those he called-- his holy people who are his rich and glorious inheritance."

I love this word picture. Paul says that he is praying that the Ephesians hearts will be flooded with light. I think I love this most because of this: John 8:12 "Jesus spoke to the people once more and said, 'I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won't have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life." Paul was praying that the Ephesians would be filled with Jesus. And I know a thing or two about floods... we've had several in the last few years in our house. It's a lot of water. To even think that Paul is praying for Jesus to fill the Ephesians that much is mind boggling. I love it!!

And Paul is praying this so that they might understand the hope that Jesus brings. The only true hope there is. He wants the Ephesian church to fully comprehend the hope, power, and love that Jesus offers. The hope that Jesus gives each one of us when we come to him. It's a beautiful picture isn't it??

Check out the last part of that verse: "-- his holy people who are his rich and glorious inheritance." I know we've talked about his before, but just in case you didn't get it the first time: God thinks you're valuable. You are his rich and glorious inheritance. Remember that. Live it. And share it. Let others know their value to God. Let others see the Light that has flooded your heart. Let the Light that is within you shine.

The Road Through Ephesus... Praying Ephesians 1:16b-17

2010-06-16T13:51:00.004-04:00

So the gloominess has broken for now and the sun is shining brightly with beautiful white clouds drifting in the sky. In other words, it's gorgeous outside. Though the breeze is a bit strong, I am always thankful for one :-) So let's jump right in, shall we?

Ephesians 1:16b-17

"I pray for you constantly, asking God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, to give you spiritual wisdom and insight so that you may grow in your knowledge of God."

Prayer. It's so powerful. Yet, as humans, I don't think we can ever fully understand it. Maybe that's why I love that we find so many examples of what to pray for and how to pray in the Scriptures. So let's take a look at how Paul prays for the Ephesian church and how we should pray for the people in our lives.

Look at the first phrase: "I pray for you constantly..." Do you see the word "constantly"? Check out some of these definitions for the word constantly: not changing or varying, unceasing, faithful, continual, persistent, unswerving, steadfast (from dictionary.com). Does that describe your prayer life for the people in your life? Do they know that they can depend on you for persistent, faithful, continual prayers on their behalf? Do you know people that you can trust to pray that way for you? How amazing would it be if every Christian prayed this way? If we were unceasing in our prayers? Wow.

The next part of the verse shows that Paul knows exactly who he is praying to. He asks "God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ..." He knows exactly who he is approaching with his requests. He believed God was who he said he was. Do we approach God believing that he will answer our prayers or do we approach with an attitude of indifference?

I love what Paul prays for the Ephesian church. He prays for spiritual wisdom and insight for them. Isn't that what we really all need? Wisdom in the ways of God and insight for living them out? Perhaps what I love even more than what he prays for the Ephesian church is why he prays those things for the Ephesian church: "so that you may grow in your knowledge of God." I think I like it even better the way the NIV says it though, "so that you may know him better." In case you didn't realize it, the him spoken of here is God. Paul is praying for the Ephesian church to know God better. Honestly, this is how I want all of my friends to pray for me now. I want them to pray for spiritual wisdom and insight so that I might know God better.

Let's pray that way for each other, shall we?

The Road Through Ephesus...Loving People Ephesians 1:15-16a

2010-06-15T17:53:00.004-04:00

I am so thankful for the many people in my life who challenge me to grow in my faith and become more like Jesus. I am sure most of them don't even know who they are, but I am so thankful for them! That's kind of what today's verse is about. Today we're looking at Ephesians 1:15 and 16a and tomorrow we'll look at 16b and 17. Those three verses make up a total of 2 sentences, so I'm breaking them apart according to sentence breaks rather than verse breaks because it's easier on me :-)

So here's today's verse and a half :-)

Ephesians 1:15-16a

"Ever since I first heard about your strong faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for God's people everywhere, ¹⁶ I have not stopped thanking God for you."

I love that Paul had only heard about the Ephesians strong faith and love for God's people! Isn't that amazing?!?! That's how I want to be known. I want people to be talking about me because of me strong faith and love for God's people. I think that's an incredible reputation to have. And it's one I desire because it means I look like Jesus. We've already looked at what an amazing reputation the Ephesians had in the world at the time of Paul's writing. It's something he mentions in the very first verse of the letter. Yet, here he adds something else that the Ephesian church was known for: their love for God's people.

If you would have told me three years ago, that I would fall in love with people and how God is working in them and through them, I would have thought you were out of your mind. I was not a people person. I would have much rather spent an evening alone with a good book every night of the week than go somewhere to spend quality time with people. Then God started changing my heart. I began to have a heart for people. I love them. I still love a good book and an evening to myself, but I also love hearing people's stories, seeing how God is working in their lives, and watching them grow in their faith. Can people say that about you? Do you honestly have a God given passion for people? Do people who meet you come away from that encounter thinking that you really love people? That's what I want. Because Jesus loved people. People are messy. Relationships are not easy. But Jesus loves people and he loves you and me, so we should love people too.

I love the last part of this verse too. Paul was "always" thanking God for the people the Ephesian church had become. Do other people "always" thank God for the man or woman of Christ you are becoming? Do you thank God for the people around you and the men and women of God they are becoming? Let's thank God for the work he is accomplishing in you and me and the people around us.

The Road Through Ephesus... Guaranteed Ephesians 1:14

2010-06-14T15:17:00.003-04:00

It's gloomy outside. It hasn't really rained much, but it sure looks like it's going to downpour anytime now. It's also really humid outside. Everything feels sticky and gross. I can't wait until the humidity lessens! But that's enough of the bad news. How about some Good News??

Ephesians 1:14

"The Spirit is God's guarantee that he will give us the inheritance he promised and that he has purchased us to be his own people. He did this so we would praise and glorify him."

I really like things in life that are for sure. Unfortunately, most of life is uncertain. There aren't too many guarantees in life. Perhaps that is why I like this verse. Because, with God, there are certainties, there are guarantees. The Holy Spirit that lives in you once you have accepted Christ is God's guarantee that we really do belong to him and that the inheritance that he has promised us (eternity with him) really will happen.

I'm glad he did this. You see, when we accept Christ, we receive the Holy Spirit to live in us. God has given us the Holy Spirit to be our helper, to be Christ within us. Every Christian has the Holy Spirit in them. This means that every Christian has the guarantee from God that they have been purchased and that they will receive their inheritance. So when we face doubts about our salvation or whether or not God actually heard us when we called on him, we can rest on this: that God has guaranteed, by sending the Holy Spirit, your salvation and your inheritance.

Why did he do this? The answer is rather simple. He did this so that he would be glorified and praised by us. This is why he gives us a guarantee. So that we will praise him. He loves to hear the praises of his children. So today, praise and bring glory to God for what he has done by saving you and for his promise that it will happen. No if, ands, or buts. It will happen.

The Road Through Ephesus...Identified Ephesians 1:13

2010-06-13T17:37:00.005-04:00

Wow. Life is insanely crazy. Yesterday I was at a wedding for two amazing people. I seriously cannot wait to see what God is going to do through their marriage. It will be beautiful! Oh, and I forgot to tell you all that our basement flooded last weekend. So we've been working on that all week trying to get it cleaned up. What a mess!

Anyways, let's move on to the important stuff.

Ephesians 1:13

"And now you Gentiles have also heard the truth, the Good News that God saves you. And when you believed in Christ, he identified you as his own by giving you the Holy Spirit, whom he promised long ago."

This verse makes me so glad for prepositions and clauses. It might sound funny to you, but bear with me a moment. Without those prepositions, information is scarce. Yes, there are complete thoughts, but those thoughts are made so much richer and fleshed out by the prepositional phrases.

The first part of the verse that I want to look at isn't a prepositional phrase, but it does give more information. It gives the definition of the word truth. Too often in the world today we hear that there is no such thing as absolute truth. Well, God's word declares otherwise. So what is the truth? The truth in this verse is simply this: "the Good News that God saves you." It's truth. God saves you. What an awesome truth that is!! The truth is the Gospel (the Good News) which says that God saves you. Aren't you glad Paul added this bit of information in?!?

So the next part starts, "And when you believed...". That's great and all, but I am really glad that there's a prepositional phrase after that, because it's not just anything that you have believed. What you believed is this, you believed "in Christ". You didn't believe in just anything, you believed in the only one who can save you, the only one who can offer you forgiveness of your sins, the only one who can make you right with God. That's who you believed in.

The next part makes my heart sing. "He identified you..." Wait, what does he identify me as? He identifies me "as his own". How amazing is that?!?!? You are his! And it doesn't end there! Nope, look at how he identifies you: "by giving you the Holy Spirit..." The NIV says that he has put his seal on you and that his seal is the Holy Spirit. That's how God identifies his people. By those who have the Holy Spirit in them. He gives us this gift of the Holy Spirit (which is a pretty cool gift in my opinion) and it's not a gift that he decided to give spur of the moment. No, it's one that he promised long ago. He's been preparing to give it to you for an eternity. If you haven't accepted Jesus, he's still waiting to give it to you. The offer is there, given with open arms. Don't make him wait any longer.

The Road Through Ephesus...Our Purpose Ephesians 1:12

2010-06-09T21:52:00.004-04:00

Day 12. Wow, I can't believe we're at day 12 already. I know it might not seem like a lot to some of you, but I think that each day I do this is a little bit of a miracle. I get bored pretty easy, so to stick with something for very long can be a challenge and a miracle if I actually do it. So here we go!

Ephesians 1:12

"God's purpose was that we Jews who were the first to trust in Christ would bring praise and glory to God."

When people look at your life what do they see? Do they see a person who's life brings praise and glory to God? Or do they see a person who brings praise and glory to him or herself? Look at this verse. God's purpose is that those who trust in Christ bring praise and glory to him.

That's why you and I were created. God has a purpose for us in this life. We are not useless pieces of junk. We were created with a purpose in mind. Our purpose is to bring praise and honor to God. We do this by the way we live our lives. By how we treat others. By how we act when no one is watching. By how we act when everyone is watching. By how we love. By how we react. By how we spend our time.

Our lives should bring praise and glory to God. Praise and glory are acts of worship. Our lives should be worship in the way that we live. Check out this verse from the Message:

Romans 12:1

"So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life-- your sleeping, eating going-to-work, and walking-around life-- and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him."

And again:

1 Corinthians 10:31

"So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."

Everything in your life should be done for God as an act of worship. This is our purpose in life.

The Road Through Ephesus... Everything Works Out Ephesians 1:11

2010-06-08T21:15:00.004-04:00

And so it continues. We have made it to the eleventh verse in chapter one. After today there will be only 144 verses to go. Are you ready to get started?

Ephesians 1:11

"Furthermore, because we are united with Christ, we have received an inheritance from God, for he chose us in advance, and he makes everything work out according to his plan."

So not only does God have a plan, but there's more. You see that word "Furthermore"? It means there's more coming, something in addition. So we are not only chosen before time began, not only bought at an immeasurable price, but we have also received an inheritance from God. You have an inheritance from the CREATOR of the Universe. You are cherished. You are not an estranged child. You are not the black sheep of the family. You are adopted and as such receive all the rights and benefits of a blood connection including receiving an inheritance. Yep, God thinks you're pretty special.

This verse repeats a lot of what we've already talked about. It's a good thing too. Many times I feel like I need a reminder of what has already been said. So easily I forget how passionate God is about me. How much he loves me. How he chose me. How he is in control of Everything. And then Paul reiterates himself and I find myself brought to my knees once again in awe of, well, pretty much EVERYTHING!

Do you see that last part of the verse? "...he makes everything work out according to his plan." God promises that everything will work out. He doesn't promise that it will work out the way that we think it should, but rather that it will work out according to his plan. And the Bible very clearly states in Isaiah 55:8 "'My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,' says the Lord. 'And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.'" Our thoughts and plans are nothing like God's thoughts and plans. God's are so far beyond our imagination that we cannot even begin to understand and comprehend them. Even when it doesn't seem like his plans are working out, remember the promise, "...he makes everything work out according to his plan."

And he does this because we are united with Christ. Because once we are in a relationship with him, we are his. The offer stands for those who believe and accept Jesus. He will work out everything according to his plan and purposes. And we already know what his plan is: his plan is to reconcile as many people to him as possible through Jesus Christ. He will do whatever it takes to make his plan happen. But know this: in the end, everything works out.

The Road Through Ephesus...More Plans Ephesians 1:10

2010-06-07T22:46:00.003-04:00

The craziness of life ensues. My amazing cousin's graduation party was on Saturday and the celebrating spilled into Sunday as well. But I am back and ready to continue this journey with you!!

So let's jump right in!

Ephesians 1:10

"And this is the plan: At the right time he will bring everything together under the authority of Christ-- in heaven and on earth."

I love plans. I love making them and I love having them. I enjoy structure. A little spontaneity every once in a while is nice, but I really love well thought out and organized plans. Yes, I may be slightly type A, but plans are wonderful. So needless to say, it makes me very happy that God has a plan. And he's even letting us in on the plan... how cool is that?!?!

So what's the plan? The first thing mentioned is the timing of the plan. Everyone knows that in planning timing is of the utmost importance. If you're planning a party, you can't really plan much of anything until you have a date and time. I love that it doesn't give a specific time. It just says at the right time. And it's not when you or I think the right time is, it's when God thinks it's the right time. Check out this verse:

2 Peter 3:9

"The Lord isn't really being slow about his promise, as some people think. No, he is being patient for your sake. He does not want anyone to be destroyed, but wants everyone to repent."

God's timing is impeccable. It was at just the right time that he stopped Abraham from sacrificing Issac. It was the perfect timing for Jesus to be born and die. God is not slow. He is being patient, waiting for people to turn to him.

And it's at that time that everything will be put under Christ's authority. Whether you submit willingly or not, you will answer to Christ, you will be under his authority. He will be in charge. This verse in Ephesians reminds me of these verses in Philippians:

Philippians 2:10-11

"that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father."

Every knee. Every tongue. Willing and unwilling will all bow and proclaim Jesus as Lord, as boss. However, for many it will be too late. If that is the first time you knee is bowing and your tongue confessing, you will be separated from Jesus forever. Oh, he will still be in control and will still be your boss, but you will miss the benefit of being in a relationship with him, of being a child of God.

But there is still hope. As long as you have breath on this earth, there is hope. Choose to bow your knee now, to confess now, before it's no longer your choice. Choose Jesus.

The Road Through Ephesus... The Plan Ephesians 1:9

2010-06-04T21:03:00.004-04:00

Sorry about not posting again. I left the house yesterday at 8:45 AM and didn't get home until 11:30 PM and then I had to work again this morning. Yesterday was full of work and hanging with my best friend who is leaving me for 10 weeks this summer. Excited for her, but very sad for me!

Anyways, here is the verse for today.

Ephesians 1:9

"God has now revealed to us his mysterious plan regarding Christ, a plan to fulfill his own good pleasure."

I debated for awhile about whether to do this verse with the next one or by itself since the next verse explains what God's mysterious plan is. But I decided to blog about just the one verse today, but I'll let you in on a little secret... the plan is pretty good... actually it's downright amazing, but you'll find that out for yourself tomorrow :-)

One of my favorite parts of this verse is the first part... "God has now revealed to us his mysterious plan..." God isn't keeping his plan regarding Jesus a secret. It's for everyone. He's telling everyone what his plan is, his plan to fulfill his own good pleasure. Without giving too much away for tomorrow's post, his plan is Jesus. Plain and simple. It's not only regarding Christ, it is Christ. The best part is that the plan is available for everyone. No one is excluded.

In light of what the plan is, take a look at these verses.

Isaiah 47:10

"Only I can tell you the future before it even happens. Everything I plan will come to pass, for I do whatever I wish."

Jeremiah 29:11

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord. 'Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."

Do you see that?? His plan is to give you a hope and a future. His plan is Jesus.

The Road Through Ephesus...Tidal Waves Ephesians 1:8

2010-06-02T11:40:00.003-04:00

So, due to some computer difficulties yesterday and a headache, you all didn't get a post. Sorry about that. Unfortunately, I don't have control over when the computer decides to crash (yes, I am sure that it has a mind of its own. It only crashes when it knows I have something I need to do on it). But you really don't want to hear about my computer woes, so instead here is the verse for today.

Ephesians 1:8

"He has showered his kindness on us, along with all wisdom and understanding."

I love that word "showered". I don't know about you, but I love a good shower. I hate when the water pressure is low or the water used is soft water. I love a good strong pressure that will get the shampoo out of my hair in a reasonable amount of time. It's one of the few things I don't like about going on vacation. Everywhere we go, the water has very little pressure. Do you know how long it takes me to wash my hair in instances like that? (Not that this will in any way keep me from vacation.) That's what I think about when I see the word showered in this verse. It's not a little bit of water with very little pressure. No, it's a tidal wave of God's kindness, wisdom, and understanding washing over us. It's enough to knock us off our feet. Wow.

Now look at the second part of the verse "... along with all wisdom and understanding." Do you see it? God doesn't promise us a little bit of wisdom and understanding, but all of it. James 1:5 says this:

"If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking."

God will give you the wisdom and understanding that you ask for. He is not holding out. He is offering it to you. But understand, wisdom and understanding, do not equal knowledge. God never promises you will know everything. But he does promise you wisdom. Overwhelming wisdom is yours. Just ask.

The Road Through Ephesus... Purchased Ephesians 1:7

2010-05-31T18:40:00.003-04:00

So I really hope you are having an amazing holiday weekend and that you have thanked all the veterans in your life. If you think about it, the verse today fits with the whole idea of Memorial Day. And I didn't even plan it that way... isn't God cool when he shows off like that??

Here's the verse.

Ephesians 1:7

"He is so rich in kindness and grace that he purchased our freedom with the blood of his Son and forgave our sins."

Wow. Reading and mediating on this verse makes me so thankful for God's kindness and grace lived out through the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus. But here's the thought I really want to focus on: "...he purchased our freedom...". And I've had to pause and think this out and it keeps making my heart beat a little faster. So bear with me a moment.

Friend, you and your freedom were purchased. And neither came cheap. You are not some inexpensive trinket at the dollar store that has little value, little worth. You are a Tiffany's Diamond, an Armani suit, a Rolls Royce. Friend, you are expensive. You have worth. You are valuable. So when God purchased you, he didn't pay for you with some inexpensive token of his kindness and grace. No, he paid for you with the blood of his Son. His only Son. His Beloved Son. Do you see your worth in the eyes of your creator? Do you understand your value in light of what he paid for you? You are so precious to him!

I love that it says that God is rich in kindness and grace. I don't know about you, but I'm really thankful that he could afford to pay that kind of price. But I'm even more thankful that he chose to pay that price.

Just as our freedom as Americans didn't come cheap, neither does our freedom in Christ. For both blood was shed as a means to bring us freedom. Freedom is cheap and neither are you. Look at your worth the way your creator does. Begin to comprehend the price he paid for you. Know that you serve a God whose riches in kindness and grace bought you and brought you from chains and into freedom.

So this week, rejoice in your freedom. Both as an American and as a Christian. And understand your worth. You are incredibly valuable in the eyes of your Savior. Don't be mislead. You were worth the blood of God's one and only beloved Son.

The Road Through Ephesus... Where's your praise? Ephesians 1:6

2010-05-30T15:16:00.004-04:00

Sorry for the short hiatus. Friday I was so exhausted and we were preparing for a catering job that took place all day on Saturday. I should probably give you the heads up that through the middle of July every weekend looks very similar so I will probably only be posting 5 days instead of 7 for the sake of sleep.

Anyways, my brain still isn't completely functioning, so if you read this and it makes no sense whatsoever, my apologies, but I did warn you :-)

So today we pick up where we left off:

Ephesians 1:6

"So we praise God for the glorious grace he has poured out on us who belong to dear Son."

God has poured his grace on us. And think about it. He didn't do it just once and leave it at that. God pouring his grace on us is a continuous occurrence. Every day, every moment, every nano second, he is pouring his grace on us. That's an incredible thought!

The beginning of this verse depicts what our response to the pouring out of grace should be. Our response should be praise. Is your daily response praise? Are you giving God what he deserves every moment of every day? I know that I don't. But think about how much our lives and the lives of people around us would be changed if we lived that way. Constantly giving God the praise that he is due.

Think about it.

The Road Through Ephesus... Wanted Ephesians 1:5

2010-05-27T22:18:00.004-04:00

I almost didn't write tonight. I'm really tired and need to go to bed, but instead I'm sitting here at the computer because I have to dive into this verse. I love this verse! (OK so I love the whole book, deal with it).

Are you ready? Here you go:

Ephesians 1:5

"God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure."

So yesterday we talked about how God decided way before Genesis 1:1 to love us and that he had chosen us for a purpose. But he didn't just love us and choose us and leave us to fend for himself. No, he adopted us into his own family. By the way, I love the emphasis here. Do you see it? In that sentence the word "own" isn't really necessary. The sentence would still get the point across by saying "his family". In fact, putting that "own" in there is a little redundant. But I like it. I like it because it emphasizes that we belong to God's family. Now my family is pretty amazing, but nothing even comes close to belonging to God's family.

Then there's the whole implications of being adopted. Did you know that adoptive parents can't disown their adopted children? But this blog can only be so long and I really want to talk about something else.

That last part of the verse always gets me. Every time I read it, my heart beats a little faster. Here, read that last part again: "This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure." Do you see it? He doesn't love us, choose us, or adopt us because he has to. He does all of that because he wants to. He desires to love us and demonstrate that love. He desires us.

And not only that, but it gives him immense pleasure to do that. Understand? You make God happy. You don't have to do anything. You bring him joy. You put a smile on his face. You make him laugh (pretty cool picture, huh?).

So understand this: You are loved, you are chosen, you are desired by God, and you make him supremely happy. Now it's up to us to live like it. God paid a great price to adopt us. He surrendered his only son to demonstrate his love for us. Don't forget that. It will change how you live.

The Road Through Ephesus... Loved and Chosen Ephesians 1:4

2010-05-26T20:43:00.004-04:00

Can I tell you a secret? I've been waiting for three days to write about this next verse (and the verse after, but that will have to wait until tomorrow). Seriously, every time I read this verse my heart gets excited and I fall a little deeper in love with Jesus. So if you're wondering what today's verse is (which you really shouldn't be since I am going in order and yesterday was 1:3 so that makes today 1:4), here it is:

Ephesians 1:4

"Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes."

Just let that roll over you for a minute. Do you see how loved you are? Do you understand how passionate God is for you? But, alas, I am getting ahead of myself.

Let's start with that first phrase, "Even before he made the world,...". Before Genesis 1:1, before he spoke the world in motion, before this round ball was put into orbit, (look at the next part) God loved us. He hadn't even created us yet and he loved us. He hadn't created our ancestors or the place we would live but his heart was filled with love for us. Do you get that? The Creator of the Universe, God Almighty, LOVES you! It's not a new love. It's a love that has been burning forever.

And not only did he love us before he created the world, but he chose us. He picked you. He picked me. He knew what we would be, what we would do, how we would turn our backs on him, and he still chose us. He wanted us before we ever wanted him. Before we could ever want him. And he didn't just chose us randomly, he chose us with a purpose. So that when we are in Christ we are holy and without fault, blameless, in his eyes. He chose us for a relationship with his son, before his son even died for us. He knew what would happen.

God's plan for our redemption was put in motion before he created anything. That's how much he loves us.

Do you get it? Most of the time I don't. It takes this verse and others like it to remind me how much I'm loved. Too often I forget how God has expressed his love for me.

Let's live out the love that God has shown us.

The Road Through Ephesus... Spiritual Blessings Ephesians 1:3

2010-05-25T21:37:00.003-04:00

Day three of insanity...I'm so loving every moment I get to write. Just FYI, I'm not really writing for you, I'm writing for me. I am getting so much out of diving into Ephesians verse by verse!

So here's the verse for today:

Ephesians 1:3

"All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ."

The first thing I noticed is that God gets all the praise in this verse. Not divided praise or half-hearted praise but all praise. Which causes me to ask myself the question, do I give God all the praise or only part of it? He deserves all of it. He died so that I might spend eternity with him. He loves me unconditionally without limits. Yet so often I forget that and give others the praise that only God deserves. How about you? Does God get all your praise?

But I think perhaps the part of the verse that makes my heart jump comes next: "who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ." God has given us spiritual blessings. What are spiritual blessings? Salvation, grace, mercy, love. God has blessed us with all of these and more. He doesn't give us just part of the spiritual blessings that exist, but rather every spiritual blessing. Every single one! And why does God gift us with these spiritual blessings? Because we are united with Christ. We belong to him. Because of his blood covering our sins we are united with him and because we are united with him we receive these blessings.

What spiritual blessings are you most thankful for?? What does a life full of blessings look like lived out?

The Road Through Ephesus... Freedom and Favor Ephesians 1:2

2010-05-24T22:31:00.003-04:00

I wasn't so sure what I would write about this verse so I decided to look up the words grace and peace. But before we start I want to share the verse with you. Today I'm quoting from the message because I just love the way it's said.

Ephesians 1:2

"I great you with the grace and peace poured into our lives by God our Father and our Master, Jesus Christ."

So, grace and peace. Most Christians know what these words mean, but do they truly understand them? One of the definitions I found of grace is God's favor or help. Paul is saying that the Ephesian church has God's favor and help, not in just a small quantity but as the message paraphrase says "poured into our lives".

Not only that, but when I looked up the definition for the word peace, one idea that kept coming up was that peace is freedom. When you are truly free, you are truly at peace. And again, we don't get just a small portion of freedom, but rather it is poured into our lives by God.

Think about it. God has literally poured help and freedom into our lives. He is standing, waiting for us to ask for his help, the same help, the same grace that he has already poured into our lives. He is offering us freedom from all that holds us captive. Every sinful thought, every sinful action that keeps us captive, and he has literally covered us in his freedom.

Paul was reminding the Ephesian church who they were. That they were free in Christ, that they had God's help and favor in their lives. In reminding the Ephesians who they were in Christ, Paul reminds us that we who know Jesus and live in him have his grace (favor and help) and peace (freedom) in our lives.

So let's live like it. Let's live like we have God's favor, help and freedom in our lives. And let's show those same qualities in our actions to the people around us. So, be full of God's grace and peace, because he's already poured it into your life.

The Road Through Ephesus...Introductions Ephesians 1:1

2010-05-23T16:02:00.005-04:00

Ahhh........ the beginning. The start of a great adventure (or at least what I hope is a great adventure). I am seriously so excited to do this and get started! Now I may not have that same enthusiasm by day 112 but I sure hope I do!

I should probably let you know that I use the NLT (New Living Translation) for my personal study, so all references will be taken from there unless otherwise noted. (Don't have an NLT?? Use BibleGateway.com to look up the verse in different versions!)

So here's the verse for today:

Ephesians 1:1

"This letter is from Paul, chosen by the will of God to be an apostle of Christ Jesus. I am writing to God's holy people in Ephesus, who are faithful followers of Christ Jesus."

Introductions. Sometimes they can be rather predictable. For instance, if two college students meet for the first time, you can be guaranteed that the topics of schools, majors, and how much longer until graduation will be discussed in the first few minutes. In Deaf culture, I would introduce myself by giving my name, my sign name, where I went to school, and who my teachers were. Most of this information that is exchanged is to give us reference points and points of commonality on which we can (hopefully) build a future relationship on. So what does Paul's introduction tell us about him and the people that he was writing to?

One of the first things that pops out at me is that Paul was chosen. I love that word. Chosen. We all like to be picked for something special. It gives us a sense of belonging and uniqueness all at the same time. Paul seems to like this word too. When we read on through the first chapter Paul continues to use the word "chosen" to illustrate that God chose each of us before the creation of the world. How amazing is that!?!? We are chosen through Christ. We are not left overs. We are not picked because no one else wanted us. We are chosen and were chosen before the world was created! Just like God chose Paul, God chooses us, even knowing what we are like, to do his work, for his kingdom. I don't know about you, but that makes my heart smile.

The other part of this verse that really jumps out at me is how Paul refers to the people that he is writing to. He refers to them as "God's holy people...who are faithful followers of Christ Jesus." The church at Ephesus had an amazing reputation! As I'm reading this I can't help but think that Paul is introducing us to the church at Ephesus. He's saying, "Holly, this is that church I was telling you about. They faithfully follow Jesus through thick and thin. I mean, just look at how much they look like Jesus!" I want a reputation like that! I want when people introduce me to others or are referring to me in conversation to say, "Oh you know Holly, she's the one who loves Jesus. She faithfully follows him with everything she has. The resemblance between her and Jesus is just remarkable!" I want people to be able to look at me and say that I am a faithful follower of Jesus. That's how I want people to remember me. I want those words to be what defines me. More than knowing sign language, more than being friendly and sweet, I want what defines me to be my faithful following of Jesus.

Don't you love introductions??

Insanity!!!

2010-05-23T15:50:00.003-04:00

I've fallen in love.... with the book of Ephesians. It is seriously a-maz-ing!!! I decided to read it last night because two of the cards I got for graduation had the same verse from Ephesians in them and when I read the verses in the cards, they rocked my heart. So of course, not having the cards in front of me last night as I was spending time with Jesus, I had to read the whole book of Ephesians and let it all just rock my heart. While I was doing that, I had an enormously crazy thought. It was seriously downright insane. I started thinking, what if I went verse by verse through Ephesians on my blog. I keep finding all these gems and I want to share them, but that would make a reeeeeeaaaaaallllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllyyyy long blog message. I bet I would learn so much and be so challenged if I went through Ephesians verse by verse and blogged about what God was showing me.

So that's what I'm going to do.

There are 155 verses in Ephesians. Which means it will take me approximately 155 days to finish blogging through Ephesians. It will probably take a little less time than that, because there will probably be verses that I just can't split up, that I just have to do together.

I hope you all follow along and add your thoughts and comments to what you hear God speaking to your heart through these verses.

So let the adventure commence...

Thinking at Night....

2010-05-17T11:14:00.003-04:00

I've been busy lately with graduating and then vacation so I haven't posted in about a month, but I can't wait to start posting more!!! So now as an official college graduate I write to you :-)

I was having some Jesus time last night and I came across a verse that blew me away. My mind is still working through the verse and processing it, but I thought I would share some of my thoughts anyways.

Here's the verse:

"I lie awake thinking of you, meditating on you through the night."

-Psalms 63:6

David was writing in this passage about longing for God. About desiring him. Think about it. When you lie awake at night thinking, what do you think about? For me it's usually the things I desire or want to see happen. I tend to daydream.

Yet this verse was so convicting. Too often as I lie in bed thinking, my thoughts are not of God and his goodness, his holiness, his mercy, his love. More often than not they're about a cute boy, a good friend, or future plans. Too often I think this is a reflection of what our hearts desire most. And that makes me sad, because it means that I desire all of these other things more than I desire God. Yes, sometimes I do lie awake at night thinking about him, meditating on what he has been teaching me lately. But more often than not, those aren't my thoughts.

I want that to change. I want my longing for God to trump all. I want my thoughts to clearly reflect the desire I have for God, the longing I have to just sit in his presence.

Still part of me is hesitant to do this. Perhaps because it means surrendering some of my dreams, what I think I desire. Yet, God knows my heart even better than I do. So, I'm holding on to another promise:

"Seek the kingdom of God above all else, and he will give you everything you need." Luke 12:31

Not everything I want, but everything I need. And not just part of what I need. He will gibe me EVERYTHING I need! Which if you consider it, God knows everything I need and everything I desire and His plans are, I'm sure, way cooler than mine.

"If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me." Jeremiah 29:13

God's Plans

2010-04-17T17:51:00.003-04:00

So, if you haven't heard already, I'm not going to Utah this summer. I was disappointed at first because I had invested so much time into the application process, but the more I think about it the more I realize that in all honesty, I didn't want to go. I kept trying to convince myself that I did, but when I found out I wasn't going, one of my first feelings was relief (that was after the tears subsided). If I had been accepted, I would have gone because the way we were praying about the whole situation was that if God wanted me to go he would open the door or slam it shut. Acceptance would have meant an open door and that would mean that God wanted me there this summer.

The door was slammed shut. Which in my mind, means that God has a purpose and a plan for me hear this summer. I don't know what that is yet, but I really can't wait to find out.

However, the day I found out I wasn't going I was still feeling a little depressed (I mean, it was an amazing opportunity) and as I was spending my time with God I came across a verse I had underlined before. This verse was just confirmation to me that it was God who slammed that door shut and that he has plans for me in Michigan this summer.

(And FYI I think it's pretty amazing how God had me read that verse on that night. I mean, I've been reading through Isaiah, about two chapters every night and for that chapter to be on the exact night I wasn't accepted into the program was God. And I happen to think that's really cool.)

So, I know you're all probably wondering what the verse was, so I'll share it now.

Isaiah 22:22b

"When he opens doors, no one will be able to close them; when he closes doors, no one will be able to open them."

I just think that's really cool and I'm trusting God to continue opening and closing doors this summer in accordance with his plans.

Scripture

2010-04-14T20:35:00.005-04:00

John 15:17

"This I command you: love one another."

Offering Grace...

2010-04-14T20:00:00.003-04:00

I read something that made my heart hurt today.

Someone posted an article on Facebook about a Christian Music Artist who has come out of the closet. She's trying to reconcile her lifestyle with her faith. That in and of itself was enough to make my heart break a little, but what really made my heart hurt was what followed.

The article was on website that after people read the article they can post comments on and about the article. Reading those comments made my heart hurt. To see the hate that people proclaiming to be Christians was heartbreaking. I hate it!! Honestly, I don't agree with her lifestyle and the way that she is choosing to represent her faith. However, I have more of a problem with the arguing, hurtful comments, and misrepresentation of the Christian faith by those who leave comments on these articles.

Jesus commands us to love. How were these people's actions loving? How many people are continually turned off to Jesus because this is the "Jesus" they see?

I am by no means perfect. Trust me, I'm far from it. Yet, I hope when I fall, the Christians around me offer grace instead of condemnation, love instead of hate, and truth spoken in love instead of beating people over the head with it. And I pray that I have the same reaction to the Christians around me when they fall because I want to represent my Jesus the best way I know how: showing love, offering grace, and speaking the truth with love.

Random Thoughts...

2010-04-10T21:22:00.004-04:00

I want to blog, but I really don't know what to say. So I would like to share with you some random thoughts.

I love the Deaf community. Their language is beautiful and so is their culture.

My Kairos girls rock my socks (when I wear socks and even when I don't :-) They are girls that love Jesus and love each other. They are real women and I love each one of their hearts.

I am in love with the song "Our God" by Chris Tomlin. So much so that I translated it into ASL and will preform it three times this weekend. It's a great song for a group of people to sing. The lyrics repeat and it has a simple melody. And it has amazing truth in it!

I don't like movie fads. I still refuse to watch LOTR and Twilight.

I actually like to write papers and I go through withdrawal during the summer and write papers for fun.

Possible internship update

2010-03-23T11:50:00.003-04:00

Just an update about what is happening with the internship/classes/I really don't know what to call it :-)

Anyways, two weeks ago I was pretty sure that this would definitely not be happening. One of the parts of the application was to have taken and passed the written portion of the NIC (National Interpreter Certification) test. I went online and paid for the test on Tuesday March 9th. What I didn't realize until I paid for it was that it could be 1-2 weeks until I could register for the exam and then an additional 2-3 days before I received my confirmation letter. This freaked me out a little since I only had a week and a half until everything had to be postmarked. I sent out a mass Facebook message to 200 of my closest Facebook friends and an email to people who don't have a Facebook for people to be praying. I received my registration information that Friday and scheduled the exam for the following Friday. I then received my confirmation letter within minutes of registering. God is AMAZING!

So on Friday, March 19th, I took my NIC Written exam and passed it! I then put everything in the mail on Saturday, March 20th (the date everything had to be postmarked by). Now I have to wait. They have until April 15th to let me know whether or not I have been accepted into the program. It's hard to believe that after all that work, now all I have to do is wait. Seriously, I think this is the hard part now.

Unconditional Love

2010-02-28T22:47:00.000-05:00

Often I wonder how honest I really am with God. There are times when I stop and “edit” my prayers to God, which if I would stop and think about it, it’s really pretty silly. I mean, he is God. He does already know what I’m thinking, what I’m going through, what I just edited out.

Yet I think it’s one of the hardest things for me to do—to be honest with God. Maybe part of it is that it means I have to be honest with myself. Still I think it might have more to do with that I have a really hard time viewing God’s love as unconditional. So often I edit my prayers to make myself sound better when all I’m really doing is hiding and not letting God heal me and my brokenness. How many chances at healing have I missed because I’m too busy hiding who I really am from myself and from God (not that anything is really hidden from him anyway)?

But God’s love is unconditional. “While we were yet sinners, Christ died for our sins.” If that doesn’t scream unconditional love, then I don’t know what does. My problem isn’t believing it in my head, but rather, living like I believe it in my heart. My actions don’t demonstrate that I believe God’s love is unconditional. In fact, they often demonstrate exactly the opposite.

So, my goal is to live like I believe what I know to be true: God’s love is unconditional. Nothing I can do or say will ever change that, so honesty truly is the best policy. And, last but not least, healing can only take place when I let God heal me.

Life Update

2010-02-28T22:22:00.002-05:00

I really haven't posted in a long time, so I thought before the month of February was over I would try to fit a couple of posts in.

It's really funny. When you're graduating in May, people begin asking you, "So, what are you going to do when you graduate?" Lately my answer to that question has been, "I have no clue" and then when I get home or somewhere "safe" I vent about how much I hate that question. I really hate that question when people don't seem to like my answer. After all, I've been in college for four years... shouldn't I have it figured out by now?!?! Well, I don't... or maybe I didn't... actually, I still don't but I'm understanding more and more that I know the one who does.

About two days after I had my last major melt down on this subject, I got a text message/phone call. It was a fellow interpreter informing me of a new program that would be starting this summer in Utah to train/teach recent ITP (interpreter training program) grads to take the National Certification Exam. She thought of me immediately and got me hooked up with the contact person. A few days ago, I got all the info in the mail and now I have about three weeks to get everything down, but it's an amazing opportunity. I'm still praying about it, but even if this falls through, I'm not so worried about it. God literally dropped this in my lap, right after a major meltdown. Maybe this is an opportunity I'm supposed to take. Maybe all the doors will slam shut. Either way, I've learned and been reminded how much my God cares about me, and how much he will provide for me, and that's enough.

The future...

2010-01-08T10:21:00.002-05:00

I graduate in four months. That is both exciting and terrifying to me. Yes I'll be excited to have a four year BA degree. But I honestly have no idea what I'm supposed to do after graduation and that is scary. I like knowing. I like having a plan. I like to-do lists. I like structure and organization. And I don't like not knowing. And now I'll be stepping into the unknown.

Part of the problem is that there are 50 million (okay maybe not that many, but certainly a lot) of things I want to do, degrees I want to have, and life change that I want to happen. Sometimes I wonder if I'm truly missing it all and I'm not supposed to do any of the things that I think I want to do and I'm supposed to do something totally different.

Yet as much as I don't know my future, I know God does. Jeremiah 29:11 says that, "I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD..." He knows. It doesn't say that I know, it says that he knows. He knows what's next. He knows whether I'll go back to school (and for which degree), he knows if I'll go on a missions trip, he knows what he has planned for me and he won't fail me. He will take care of me. He knows so I don't have to worry and fret (which is a lot easier said then done).

My life doesn't belong to me. It belongs to him. And during this time of unknowns, I'll keep seeking and searching for his presence, because no matter what I end up doing, that's where I want to be: in his presence: worshipping, loving, being.