Trust

One of the first things that I do when I get to work in the morning is check out BibleGateway's verse of the day.  I love it.  It helps to set the mood of my day and when I get frustrated in the middle of the day, I steal a moment to stop in to my office to read it again.  It's so important for me to refocus throughout the day.  I take some time to reread the scripture from that morning and pray.  For my student, for myself, for the other students and staff I encounter everyday.

Anyways all that to say that I loved today's verse.  I love that I made it back to my office to read it at least three or four times today.  The verse was Jeremiah 17:7-8:

"But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him.  They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream.  It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit."

Today this was a reminder to trust in God. To put my confidence and hope in him.  To rely on him.  Because I want to be like that tree.  I don't want to fear when hard times, stressful times, and times of testing come.  I don't want to worry when emptiness seems to come flooding in. I don't want to worry when I feel lonely or just dry and tired.  I want to bear fruit. I want to be healthy and grow.  I want God's blessing.

I want to trust.  And I'm working on it.  It seems to be going slowly somedays.  The days when I want to go back to my office (which happens to be padded/sound proof) and scream for a few seconds or minutes depending on my mood.  And then there's the days that are good.  The days when I'm ready to work for longer because my student is getting things, or the rest of the students are behaving and I get to have some fun with them.

Trusting isn't easy.  But it's necessary. And it's coming.  Slowly, but it's happening.

Thankfulness

127.  Long walks on nice days


128. Beautiful spring days


129. Co workers who understand what I'm going through


130. Drew "creating" signs :-)


131. March Madness Craziness


132. New shorts that fit and are smaller than last summer's


133. A new summer/spring wardrobe that looks like spring/summer


134. Sitting cross legged.... it just makes me happy


135. The chance to observe other interpreters work


136. Popcorn

137. Text messages that encourage, make me laugh, and point me to Jesus
























 

Bigger

 This last week has been a little rough.  I'll be the first to admit it.  There were a couple of days that were rougher than others.  Some days were relaxing and beautiful.  Some days were full of stress and me screaming, "WHY?!?!?!"  But as I've had the chance to spend time outside this week, walking and taking in God's creation all around me, my spirit has become settled.  And as I read Isaiah 40, it speaks directly to my heart and leads me into a time of worship.  Here, read for yourself:

Isaiah 40:27-28

"O Jacob, how can you say that the LORD does not see your troubles?  O Israel, how can you say God ignores your rights?  Have you never heard?  Have you never understood?  The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth.  He never grows weak or weary. No one can measure the depth of his understanding."

So in the midst of my screaming "WHY?!?!?!", God didn't answer me.  He didn't tell me why such and such was happening, why I was in the middle of things, why I was having a crappy day.  And he doesn't have to.  He's the Creator of the universe and he doesn't owe me an explanation.  Yet he told me something that soothed my heart.  That calmed me and drew me to him.  He told me he understood.  He told me he saw.  And he told me that he was bigger than what was happening.  And for that moment, it was enough.

Honestly, a lot of the times when I'm upset or angry and I start talking to someone, I don't want them to fix it.  I just want them to listen. To hear what I'm saying.  To see and acknowledge that I am beyond frustrated.  To simply look at me and be understanding enough to let me vent.  And that's incredibly satisfying to my heart.  And usually I come to terms with things and can move on.

And that's what God promises in this passage.  He doesn't promise that everything will be okay.  He doesn't promise that pain and trouble will not happen.  He promises that he will see it, that he will not ignore it, that he understands it, and that, ultimately, he is bigger than it.

So when I'm weak and weary and ready to walk back to Detroit, he's strong and full of energy and ready to hold me.  He's in the midst of what I'm going through.  He understands people being stupid.  He understands how much I love these high schoolers and how much I want to see them know him and how much my heart aches when I see them not following him.

And he's so full of mercy and grace. Little snippets of conversations that make me hope that loving these kids isn't in vain.  Little breakthroughs that show me a glimpse of how God is working behind the scenes. Strength for confrontations I didn't want to have, but needed to happen.  And literal "signs" of love as I watch girls sign a song that I'm working with them on.  They are all reminders that God is listening.  That he is here.  And that he cares, deeply, for me.

God is truly amazing.

 

Surrender Plans

The weather is beautiful right now.  When I got home from another long, somewhat stressful day at work I slipped on flip flops for the first time in months.

Two members of the family have already headed out for a bike ride before dinner.  I'm hoping to take a walk later.

And even in all this beauty around me, the day has been a little stressful.  I'm reminded to surrender.  It's such a pesky word.  One that I don't really care for actually.  Because, let's face it, as much as I try to deny it, I like to be in control.  I like things done my way.  But surrender isn't only needed, it's necessary.

As I've walked through the past few days, and anticipate the next few, I've had to surrender my plans and my ways numerous times.  If I had had my way, in my perfect world, such and such a situation never would have happened.  But the truth is, it did happen.  And other stuff happens.  And it's not a perfect world.  I'm not perfect either.  However, I serve and know the one who is.  And he's asking me to, once again, surrender to his plans.  

I don't know what the future holds. But God does.  And as much as I'd like to tell him at times what I think it should hold, I'm choosing to surrender.  There are days when it's more of a struggle than normal.  And there are days when it doesn't seem to be a problem at all.  But everyday  needs to be one of surrendering and letting go. Letting God work in the middle of the messes.

I don't really know what's next.  So I'm waiting and praying and following God's leading with the people he's placed in my life right now.  And I know that whatever happens, God will get the glory, when I surrender to him.

       

Promise plans

Today was a stressful day.  It was stressful for many reasons that I actually can't tell you, so you'll just have to take my word for it.

Part of the reason it was/is so stressful is that I don't know what the end result will be. Which, when I stop and think about it, God never promised I would know.

And so today, I've been mediating and consumed with thoughts of his plans.  And several verses continued popping up in my head (and on my computer screen when I googled).  So as I reflect and trust what these verses say, I hope you will do the same.

"My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts," says the LORD. "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.

Isaiah 55:8

"For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."

Jeremiah 29:11

"But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations."

Psalm 33:11

 "The LORD Almighty has sworn, "Surely, as I have planned, so it will be, and as I have purposed, so it will stand."

Isaiah 14:24

And that's the hope that I have.  That even though I don't know God's plans: He does.  And he's proven himself faithful in the past and he will continue to be faithful in the future. And this I know: Every promise of God is true. So I will trust him. 

The Road Through Ephesus... Carefully and Uniquely Ephesians 2:21

Today is Pi day (3.14) and we are celebrating by having pot pies for dinner followed by a Hershey's Chocolate Creme Pie for dessert. Yum.  And the weather is beautiful outside and it promises to stay beautiful for most of this week.  So other than I'm still fighting a cold, this Monday has been pretty good so far.

And since it's been so wonderful, I thought maybe we could add to that and jump back into Ephesians.  We're almost at the end of chapter two!  I can hardly believe it!  Anyways, Ephesians:

Ephesians 2:21

"We are carefully joined together in him, becoming a holy temple for the Lord."

When I first looked at this verse there was one word that jumped out at me right away: carefully.  In this verse it describes how we are joined together in him.  And I love it.  Maybe because I have a hard time doing anything carefully.  It doesn't matter how hard I try to be careful, many times the klutz in me comes out instead.  Whether is breaking something that's delicate (it's why I try not to own anything that will break too easy), twisting my knee (more times than I can count), or hitting myself in the face while signing (I think my depth perception must be off, but the kids get a laugh out of it), I struggle with being careful.

And the fact that this verse declares about us being carefully joined together in Christ is beautiful.  He treats us with care.  But not only that, we each have a specific place, a specific design in his house, as his church.  He places us with care, knowing our uniqueness.  He knows our desires, our gifts, our passions.  He's created us to fit perfectly and carefully into the body, into his temple.

Because he has redeemed us and bought us, we are his holy temple. The Greek for the word that is translated holy is hagios. The word implies something that is set apart or different.  Something that is distinguished, distinctive, and unique. Which is what we are to be in Christ.  We are to be like him and different from the world.

I love it because God knows our uniqueness and uses that to place us carefully and perfectly.  And, as a body of believers, all our uniqueness that he has given us comes together to form a temple for him that is unique and distinctive.  It has the very essence of Christ written all over it.  It's built into the walls and stamped in the concrete.

It's beautiful.

Thankfulness...


111. Uniqueness that has Jesus written all over it


112. The need to use my sunglasses for more than just the glare off the snow.

113. Celebrating the little holidays in fun ways.


114. A desk with a white board top to write my to-do  list and shopping lists on.




115. Knowing that spring is coming!


116. Early bedtimes.


117. Chocolate cupcakes. Yum!


118. Students who want and ask for my help!!


119. Weekends


120. The things that make having a cold more bearable.

121. Skype dates with the bestie.


122. Translating music in ASL


123. Cracks in life


124. Everyday silliness


125. Hot Vanilla Chai Tea with Truvia


126. A friend who understands translating problems and is willing to help work through them.

The Little Things

As I sit here sipping my hot tea because I am once again sick, I'm thinking about the small things.  The things that by themselves don't seem all that important.

I happen to love the small things.  The little things that make me happy.  My favorite dessert (basically chocolate), my favorite worship song, a smile.

I think God speaks through the little things.  They're his love letters to us.

But sometimes we get so caught up in life that we miss the small things.  We miss the small signs that tell us that something big is going to happen.

I've definitely been there.  All of the sudden, one day, noticing that there are leaves on trees.  When if I had just been paying attention I would have noticed the small changes taking place.

So often in my own life, I just see what I want the end result to look like.  And I just know that I'm not there yet.  I forget to take time to rejoice in the small changes.  The changes that get me one step closer to where I need to be.  All those little changes add up.  All those little changes are growth.  And when there's enough little changes, it's like the leaves all of a sudden showing up on the trees or flowers sprouting from earth.  It's the little changes that make life, life.

Perhaps this year, I've been a little more in tune to the signs of spring.  After this long winter, I'm eager to see in any sign of spring.  This week I want to live in tune to the little things God is doing in my life.  I want to see the signs of his love.  I want to see little ways that I'm growing closer to him.  Because just as spring will eventually get here as each little change happens, so I will eventually look like Jesus as each little change occurs in my life.

"For I am about to do something new.  See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness.  I will create rivers in the dry wasteland."

Isaiah 43:19

 

Cracked and Broken

Psalm 2:9

"You will break them with an iron rod and smash them like clay pots."

That's literally what we did at the ladies day out at church today.  We smashed pots with a hammer.  It was an illustration of our brokenness.  And as I've sat here, thinking about it since, I've come to realize a few things I want to share with you.

We're all broken.  We're all messed up.  There is something wrong with all of us.  For some, it's just more apparent.  But let's be clear: we're all broken.

Proverbs 26:23

"Smooth words may hide a wicked heart, just as pretty glaze covers a clay pot."

Some of us just have more glaze covering us.

But there is one who can and will put us back together. He's the one that created us. Who loves us dearly.  Who holds us close and knows us intimately.

Isaiah 64:8

"And yet, O Lord, you are our Father. We are the clay, and you are the potter. We are all formed by your hand."

So we glued our pots back together.

Some of ours were more broken then others.  All had cracks.  None were perfect.

But those cracks, those imperfections, or in some cases, those big gaping holes are what God's glory and light shine through.  They are how people see Jesus in us.  They are how people see God's power in us and through us.

2 Corinthians 4:7

"We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure.  This makes is clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves."

My pot is sitting on my nightstand.  It's missing at least half the pot.  But it's beautiful for a very simple reason: it speaks to the redeemed, to the restored.  It tells of what God can do with brokenness. And it has that much of a bigger place for God's light to shine through.

And I pray that my life is the same: that the cracks and holes freely allow God's love, power, and light to shine through.

Just Do It.

So I just have to say that I love Bible Gateway.  I love being able to look up verses when I'm online and I can remember part of a verse I want to share but for the life of me can't remember the exact words because I've memorized in several different versions and they're all starting to run together into what I like to call "The Holly Standard Version".  I love pulling it up at work and leaving it there all day for encouragement.  I love taking a verse and looking at it in ten different versions.  It's awesome.  But what's even more awesome is that it's God's Word.

I also happen to love my actual paper and ink Bible too.  I'm kind of excited because it's starting to fall apart. And that means it's being used.  And that thrills my heart.

I was just going to type something that I realize is rather ridiculous.  I'll tell you what I was going to say and why it's ridiculous.

I was going to say how even though my Bible is starting to fall apart, I'm still not where I want to be.  I wish that the Bible was a higher priority for me.  I wish that I spent more time studying and reading and learning and diving deep into it.

And then I realized how ridiculous that sounds.

I wish!?!?


I don't want to just "wish" that this would happen.  That's sounds so passive.  It is so passive.  If I wish that it would happen then I need to put my money where my mouth is and go all Nike on it.  I need to just do it.


How often is that our response?  We wish something would happen, or we pray about something happening, when what God is really telling us is stop wishing, stop praying and DO IT! Sometimes we use prayer as an excuse.  Sometimes we know what God told us to do, we just keep praying hoping for a different answer.  And that's disobedience. Don't get me wrong: Prayer is essential to the life of a Christian, but oftentimes we utilize it as an excuse. We don't need to pray about what God has commanded us to do; we just need to do it.

So, this week, let's go all Nike on how we use our time.  Let's stop using praying and wishing as an excuse to not do what God has clearly commanded us to do.  Let's do it.


²² But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. ²³ For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. ²⁴ You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like. ²⁵ But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don’t forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it.


James 1:22-25

Beauty

Beauty.  I was thinking about this yesterday.  Work had been rather stressful, but Mondays I have a prep period the last hour of the day.  A lot of times I use it as an opportunity to release some tension, work on vocabulary for different classes, do research, pray, and just take a break from my student.  So I was stressed and tense yesterday.  It had been a long day.  So I did what I do when I get stressed: I wrote Scripture and truth in my journal that I keep at school for specifically that purpose.  That's relaxing in and of itself, but there's something that brought even more relaxation.  Beauty.

I took my markers that I carry around with me and traced the words.  It was colorful. And it was beautiful. And the tension melted away.

God created beauty.  He delights in it.  Just look at the world around you.  The flowers. The colors.  The rainbows.  The people. 

It's hard to be tense when you're surrounded by beauty.  It's why people spend vacations in beautiful settings.  It's why I color and write with colored markers and pens.  It's why rainbows make me happy and fresh flowers (that I'm not allergic to) make me smile.

Beauty relaxes.  Beauty invites.  Beauty draws.  Beauty brings peace.

The Road Through Ephesus... Jesus Ephesians 2:20

After a rather stressful ending to last week (brand new car on the side of the road 5x's in the middle of nowhere Indiana), I'm back.  The weather is rather beautiful down here right now.  It's in the 40s and I love it.  I'd prefer 60s to 70s, but any increase over 35 is almost spring like.  It even smells like spring!  It really is coming!  Of course, they're predicting snow flurries sometime this week, but *hopefully* no accumulation.

So as winter starts to melt away, I thought we could get a little bit closer to finishing chapter two in Ephesians.  We are actually almost finished with chapter two!  Here we go!

Ephesians 2:20

"Together, we are his house, built on the foundation of the apostles and the prophets. And the cornerstone is Jesus Christ himself."

Word pictures.  I love them.  I love that Paul compares us to a house in this verse.  Now, I'll admit, I don't know really anything about building a house.  But I do know that if your foundation isn't good, your house is pretty much, well, worthless.  So when this says that we are Jesus' house and our foundation is the apostles and the prophets, our foundation is the teachings of Jesus and Jesus himself. Because that's what the apostle's and the prophet's taught: Jesus.

It serves as a reminder to be careful with who we listen to.  I know there's been a lot of controversy with one pastor lately about whether or not what he is teaching is contrary to the Word of God.  And while I might debate you on this issue (provided we're on opposing sides) until I'm blue in the face, I believe that God's Word is the final word.  And that his Word is what our foundation should be.  Human opinion really doesn't matter in the long run, but what God has to say about a topic matters greatly.

And then I got excited about the last part of this verse too.  "And the cornerstone is Jesus Christ himself." Yes, I went and looked up the word cornerstone.  Don't laugh.  You know I love words. :-)  And these are some of the definitions I found:

"Something that is essential, indispensable, or basic"
"A person or thing of prime importance..."
"Vital element"

And then some synonyms:

"anchor"
"base"
"essential"
"key element"
"pillar"

I love that third definition: "vital element".  Jesus is a vital element.  In reality, he is the element.  The cornerstone, from what I understand, is part of the foundation.  It's basis for the rest of the building.  It's the starting point.  Where everything is built off of.

Because when it really comes down to it, the main point, the only point, is Jesus.  Off of him, everything else is built.  So as we study scripture ourselves and learn from pastors, teachers, and others, let's remember to go back to Jesus.  Make sure that everything you are learning lines up with Jesus and who he is.

Jesus is what our faith is.


Thankfulness...


101. Growing up with Pastors who teach God's Word... and encourage me to check it out myself


102. Scripture to study


103. Friends to discuss difficult topics with


104. The vital element of faith: Jesus


105: Weekends in Michigan


106: Parent's letting me borrow their car while mine's in the shop


107: Spring is coming!!


108: Allergy meds... because spring is coming!!!!


109: Long hugs from my best friend.


110: Cuddling with my dad, because I was cold (or for any other reason)

Child-like

Today is Dr. Seuss' birthday. In honor of the day, we're having green eggs and ham for dinner.  I am more than a little excited about this.

You make think it strange that a 22 year old gets excited about Dr. Seuss, but I enjoy kid things.  For example, the last time I went to the library I checked out two Veggie Tales DVDs, not for little kids I know, but for me.  I also contemplated some Donut Hole Man Videos while I was there.  Sitting in my room right now is a Veggie Tales coloring book, two Veggie Tales plush, and a 64 pack of Crayola crayons.  I did have play doh in there, but my sister likes that more than me so I gave it to her.

I enjoy having the chance to be a kid every once in a while.  When it's just been a really long and frustrating day, I love pulling out my crayons and coloring.

Matthew 18:3 speaks of the need for us all to become like children. No, we don't all need to watch Veggie Tales and color in Veggie Tales coloring books.  Look at what it says:

"Then he said, 'I tell you the truth, unless you turn from your sins and become like little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven."

That's how I want to live.  Like a little kid.  Realizing my need for a savior.  Believing that Jesus is who he said he was and that he will do what he said he will do.  Kids trust implicitly. Without question, hesitation, or reserve.  That's how I want to be in my relationship with Jesus: like a child.