In fact, I should have been in bed already if I want to go to the gym tomorrow... we'll see if I can get moving in time now.
But as I was turning off lights and closing doors and windows in my house, something prompted me to check my blog stats. If I'm writing, I usually check them once a day but I had family from out of town over for dinner and to see my new house and never got to it tonight. That is, until a few minutes ago.
And as I checked my blog stats to see how many people have been reading and what they've been reading lately, I noticed someone, or several someones, have been reading some of the older posts on my blog. Not super old. They probably still pop up on the first page since I took a super long hiatus from blogging, but they're old to me.
So much life has been lived since then.
And it made me reflect.
Some of the posts that popped up were from a tremendously difficult season of life. It was a season that only God got me through and you all were able to experience parts of through this blog. My cousin's 5 1/2 month old baby passed away. My boyfriend of a year and a half dumped me. And I had just celebrated my birthday which is normally fabulous but felt completely empty that year.
It was hard.
There's really no other words to describe it. But in reality, it was harder than hard. And so I reflected tonight on where God has brought me and the joy I now have in my life because I'm living to follow him more than I did back then.
I reflected on the fact that God is good. My cousin is 7 months pregnant again (that's who I just saw tonight). And we couldn't be more thrilled for this new little baby boy soon to show up. We will always miss Jared and this little one will never take his place, but he's a blessing from God. He's a reminder of God's goodness even in the difficult times.
I reflected on the peace, contentment, and joy I have in my life now. When I was dumped, I was depressed for a solid month and in and out of depression for several more after. I can remember exactly where I was the first time I truly laughed again. I can remember coming out of that fog and seeing and knowing that God was still good in EVERYTHING. And I can remember coming to realize that God's plans are best and it wouldn't have been a good idea at all to stay in that relationship.
I looked back and I saw how God is writing my story. I looked back and saw his faithfulness. I saw his mercy. His grace. His tender love.
I saw God's fingerprints on every part of my life and everything that he's brought me through.
Reflection is good for the soul. Because of what God has done in the past, I know I can trust him with the future. There's a song that we've been singing at church lately called "I will look up" by Elevation Worship and there's a couple lines that go like this:
I will look up, for there is none above you
I will bow down, to tell you that I need you
Jesus, Lord of all
I will look back, and see that you are faithful
I'll look ahead, believing you are able
Jesus, Lord of all
Jesus, Lord of all
Really the whole song is worth quoting and it's one of my favorite ones right now... but how true! I look back and see that God has been faithful and because of that that I believe that he is able to accomplish more than I could ever imagine.
What has God brought you through? Have you taken time to reflect lately?
