Aching Heart

I contemplated not writing this blog post.  It would be easy to never press publish, but that would defeat one of the purposes that I have for this blog: to let you see how I'm growing in Jesus and who I am in him.  It's a place for me to be completely honest.

Sometimes that's easier said then done.

Okay, so here it is:

Right now, at this stage in my life, I have a love/hate relationship with wedding showers, weddings, and baby showers.

Don't get me wrong.  If you are getting married or having a baby and I know you and love you, I am genuinely excited and happy for you.

But it still makes my heart ache a bit.

Ever since I was little, I've wanted to be married a man who loves Jesus, me, and his family.  I've wanted kids running around my house.

And, as I sit here, listening to the thunderstorms outside, I still don't have that.

I want you to understand something: I LOVE my life.  I love my job. I love my family and friends.  I love the stage I'm living.

But sometimes my heart still aches.

And as my Facebook feed fills up with engagements, weddings, and baby bumps, it's been aching a little more than normal lately.

It's not that I'm not happy for you.  Actually, I'm ecstatic! I will be the one crying tears of joy as you walk down the aisle because I am so happy to see God's blessings in your life.  I will be one of the first people in line to hold and cuddle your newborn after telling you how precious he/she is.  I will be the one rejoicing over how good God is with you as we celebrate his blessings.

And then, when I take a step back, my heart will start to ache a little bit.

The reason my heart will start to ache is because God has planted desires in my heart for marriage and a family... but his timing isn't quite yet.

It's taken me some time, but I've finally figured out what to do with my aching heart.  I used to just throw a full blown pity party for myself for a few days... moping around, asking God why it wasn't my turn yet.

But, just in the past couple of weeks, I realized I've been doing something different lately.  In all honesty, I'm not sure how long I've been doing it but the realization came just this weekend.

When my heart is aching, I run to Jesus.

I don't run to him asking when it's going to be my turn and moping about.

I run to him so he can remind me of his promises.  Soothe my heart.  Speak truth into my life.  Fill me with himself.  And make me more like him.

Instead of praying and asking God for a husband right here and now with little concern about whether or not I'm even ready to be married, I search the Bible waiting for God to speak to my heart.

And he does.  It never fails that time with Jesus is what I need.

Time to remember that Jesus is really the only one who can fill me.  Who can complete me.  Who can fulfill my desire to be loved unconditionally.

Because even once I'm married, that's not going to change.  Jesus is still going to be the only one who can do that.  He's still going to be the only one who can hold and heal my aching heart.

There are days when it's difficult to not mope.  There are days when I still mope.  But I'm slowly starting to recognize that the ache in my heart that I've hated for so long because it reminds me of what I don't physically have yet, is really a reminder to run to Jesus.  It's really a Holy Spirit prompting to spend time reminding myself of who God is.

I'm not perfect.  I don't have this all figured out.  It's taken me 25 years to figure out that the ache in my heart is an opportunity to pursue Jesus.  And I know I'll have days when I'll forget that that's what the ache means.  But today I remembered.  Today I ran to Jesus and my heart is again at peace.  It is again content.

Because I know Jesus' love for me.

Did I cry a bit as I wrote this? Yep.  Because those 10 year old dreams of the marriage and kids, not the wedding day, are still there.  But there's hope.  Because my God is a good God.  He doesn't plant desires in my heart just sit back and laugh as they go unfulfilled.  He has a plan.  He loves me.  And He is good.

So please, don't stop inviting me to your wedding showers, weddings, and baby showers.  Don't stop posting your engagement ring pictures, wedding pictures and baby bump pictures on Facebook.  And please, don't think I'm not happy for you.  Because I am.  So happy.

God's just still working on me: teaching me to run to him in everything.

^" When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit.  Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think." 

Ephesians 3:14-20 

The Road Through Ephesus... Mysterious Plans Revealed Ephesians 3:3

I'm slightly distracted today. I got a new phone last night and having to sit in class and write is torture right now compared to what I want to do which is play on my phone.  It's the first smart phone I've ever had so I'm pretty excited and it just does so much more than my old, non-smart phone.  But I'm going to try to plow through it.  I'm playing some worship music through my headphones so hopefully that will help focus my attention the right direction.

Let's start, shall we?

Ephesians 3:3

"As I briefly wrote earlier, God himself revealed his mysterious plan to me."

I want to start out by saying that I feel the beginning of this verse is slightly ironic.  When did Paul ever write anything briefly?  John, Peter, Jude: those were some brief letters.  But, Paul's letters?  Those are usually long.  Paul likes to use words.  I think we might have gotten along well.  If you've ever gotten a text from me you know that I don't send short texts.  I send 3-6 texts per message.  My old phone had a word count limit and my messages would routinely take at least two, but usually were about 3 or more.  All that to say that I don't know if Paul is trying to make a joke or not, but it sure seems ironic to me.

But back to the verse.

Look at the second phrase. "God himself revealed his mysterious plan to me."

I love that about God's nature.  If He wants you to do something, He will reveal his "mysterious" plans to you.  In the revelation, they are no longer mysterious.

I don't know about you, but I have spent quite a bit of time trying to figure out what God's plans are.  But here's the thing: God has already revealed what I need to know.  Just because I want to plan out the next however many years of my life doesn't mean that I need to.  I need to trust that God will reveal those plans when I'm ready for them.

If you're a planner like me, that's a hard pill to swallow at times.

I like to know what I'm doing five minutes from now and five years from now.  But God won't reveal something until we need it.  He won't reveal something until we're ready for it.

That's also comforting to know.  Because if I'm feeling overwhelmed with a task that I feel is God's plan for me, then I know that God has prepared me for it.  I know that God has given me what I need to accomplish HIS plans.  And I know that He will give me the strength to do it.

God's plans are good and perfect.  They are to give us hope, purpose, and a future with Him (Jeremiah 29:11).

We also need to remember that these are God's plans that He is revealing.  I think sometimes we wonder why God isn't revealing something to us and it might be because those are OUR plans not His.  Our plans need to be surrendered.  Then God can begin the process of replacing our plans with His.  Then HIS plans will be revealed.

What plans are you waiting for God to reveal to you?  Are they  your plans or God's?  Do you need to surrender your plans so that you can learn what God has planned for you?  Do you need to step out into the plans God has for you in faith, trusting that He has equipped you for them?

What do you need to do next?

The Road Through Ephesus... Special Responsibilities Ephesians 3:2

It's going to be hot this week.  By the weekend it could be up close to 100 degrees.  However, as I write this I am wearing a sweatshirt because the air is on at school and I'm cold.  So the question is, how do I dress for 90+ degrees and really cold A/C?  The answer:  There is no good option.  Layering only works so well.

But anyway... enough of my complaining.  Now that we've started this Ephesians study back up as of yesterday, are you ready to jump back in today?

I'm going to pretend that you answered yes.  Because even if you answered no, I'm still going to keep typing.

Here's our verse for today:

Ephesians 3:2

"assuming, by the way, that you know God gave me the special responsibility of extending his grace to you Gentiles."

I feel like Paul is being rather sarcastic here.  That phrase, "assuming, by the way,..." seems like the church in Ephesus should know this, but something about them is telling Paul that they don't.  I don't know.  Maybe it's just me.  But in almost every version I read I get the impression of sarcasm.  Read this verse in a few different versions and see if you get the same impression.

When Paul starts this verse, I can see him remembering.  He's doing what we talked about yesterday.  Reminding himself and the Gentiles why he's in their lives.  And that it's God's grace that does all the work.  But that's not what I want to focus on here.  There's a specific phrase that really jumped out at me as I was reading this.

"...the special responsibility..."

The Gentiles were part of Paul's special responsibility.  I think we each have special responsibilities.  God has made each of us unique and with special gifts and talents.  We each have specific and special responsibilities in God's family.  If we were all the same, nothing would ever get done and I have a hard time imagining many people coming to Christ if we all tried to be just one part of the body or family.

I think we can often get jealous of the special responsibilities other people have too.  Somehow everyone else's "specialness", seems more special than ours.  But God has uniquely given you a special responsibility too.  Maybe it's to reach your friend and bring them closer to Jesus.  That may be something only you can do.  Maybe it's to write a blog entry that touches someone's heart with the words God gave you.  Maybe it's to snap a photograph that somehow portrays God's glory and splendor. Maybe it's something else.


Whatever it is, it is YOUR responsibility.

And if you are envying someone else's responsibility, then you are wasting your own.

What is your special responsibility?  What has God purposefully gifted you for?  What can you do that no one else can do just like you?

Start doing it.

The Road Through Ephesus... Remembering Ephesians 3:1

I haven't done this in a while.  Moving back to Michigan, starting my MA, and getting a new job has kept me busier than I would have liked.  I'm still working on the MA, but I am currently taking a two week class where I just get to sit and write for hours.  It's pure bliss and I'm hoping to catch up on our Ephesians series.

The last time I wrote about Ephesians we were finishing the last verse of chapter 2.  And that was over a year ago.  If you need a refresher of what we've talked about so far in Ephesians, look for the cluster of words on my blog.  When you find it, click Ephesians and you should find all the entries there.  For now though, I think we should just jump into chapter 3.  Sound good?

Okay, here it is:

Ephesians 3:1


"When I think of all this, I, Paul, a prisoner of Christ Jesus for the benefit of you Gentiles..."


I really like this verse.  Partly, because it has an ellipsis at the end.  I think Paul might have been a little ADD because he starts this thought here and doesn't finish it until verse 14.  He gets sidetracked talking about other things.  Important things, but other things none the less.


But look at how the verse starts: "When I think of all this..."  Paul is intentionally choosing to remember.  In this case, he is remembering everything he just wrote.  He's remembering that the Gentiles are called.  That they are no longer outsiders.  That they are holy.  


These people who the Jewish people thought were so far from God are able to have a relationship with Him now.


That's amazing.


What's also amazing is that Paul is choosing to remember this.  He is choosing to focus on the fact that these are now his brothers and sisters in Christ and God has called Paul to serve them.  Paul has been taken captive by Christ for the benefit of the Gentiles, so that they too can know the Good News of Jesus.


Wow.


I think we sometimes choose to forget instead of choosing to remember.  Paul didn't forget the Gentiles' past.  He didn't forget who they used to be and how they were so far from God.


We need to remember that too.  We need to remember how far we were from God.  How broken our relationship with Him was.  We need to remember how Jesus found us and how He redeemed us.  Not because we want to live in the past.   Not because that's who we are anymore.  But because, Jesus saved us.  He rescued us.  He forgave us.


Remembering reminds us of His mercy.  It reminds us of His grace.  It reminds us of the incredibly high price He paid to ransom us.  We need to remember our past.


There's a song by Point of Grace that has these words in it:

But it's the memory of 

the place you brought me from

that keeps me on my knees

even though I'm free

Heal the wound, but leave the scar

A reminder of how merciful you are...

Don't let me forget

Everything you've done for me

Don't let me forget

The beauty in the suffering

We can't forget. We have been saved for a purpose.  We are to point others to Him.  How can we do that if we forget where we came from and how messed up we were?

So.  Today, remember.

The Road Through Ephesus... A Call To Holiness Ephesians 2:22

It's very warm and humid down here today.  Which isn't bad until I want to sleep and then I'll be miserable.  I don't like it cold and I don't like it sticky and hot.  I would like a happy medium please.  Well, I decided since I've been putting off writing about the last verse of Ephesians 2 that I should remedy that situation and get back to it.  I have just had a hard time coming up with what to write about this verse.  Part of me feels that I keep saying a lot of the same things over and over again, but I'm ready to possibly say the same thing again and jump back in.

Here we go:

Ephesians 2:22

"Through him you Gentiles are also being made part of this dwelling where God lives by his Spirit."

I don't know about you, but I think that's pretty exciting.  We who were once outcasts, who had no hope of a relationship with God, have become a part of the family of God and he lives in us by his Spirit.  How cool is that???  We were so far separated from him, but God made a way to get back to him and now he lives in us.

He chose us.  We've discussed that. But he didn't just choose us.  He lives in us.  He has made us his dwelling place.  The one who created the universe chose to live in us.  That's pretty amazing.

1 Corinthians 3:17 "For God's temple is holy, and you are that temple."

2 Corinthians 6:16 "For we are the temple of the living God."

I love that first one.  Because in it, we aren't only called to be holy, it says we are holy.  Because the God who loves you enough to die for you lives in you and gives you his holiness.  His holiness covers you.  It covers me.  It's incredible.  

Because if I think about it, there are many times when I don't feel holy.  There are many times when I don't choose the holy thing to do.  But God still calls me holy, because when he looks at me, he sees his holiness covering me.  Because he lives in me.

But even though his holiness covers me, that doesn't mean I can do whatever I want.  Because his holiness covers me, it pushes me to choose the right thing.  It pushes me to honor him.  It pushes me to love and obey him.

It's not always easy.  Okay, really, it's never easy.  But it's right.  His holiness calls us to a higher living.  

So this week, I want to strive for that. I want to strive to live holy.  Not because I have to, but because his holiness, his love, his Spirit living in me calls me to live a holy life.  

Will you join me?  Will you let him call you to a holy life?

The Road Through Ephesus... Carefully and Uniquely Ephesians 2:21

Today is Pi day (3.14) and we are celebrating by having pot pies for dinner followed by a Hershey's Chocolate Creme Pie for dessert. Yum.  And the weather is beautiful outside and it promises to stay beautiful for most of this week.  So other than I'm still fighting a cold, this Monday has been pretty good so far.

And since it's been so wonderful, I thought maybe we could add to that and jump back into Ephesians.  We're almost at the end of chapter two!  I can hardly believe it!  Anyways, Ephesians:

Ephesians 2:21

"We are carefully joined together in him, becoming a holy temple for the Lord."

When I first looked at this verse there was one word that jumped out at me right away: carefully.  In this verse it describes how we are joined together in him.  And I love it.  Maybe because I have a hard time doing anything carefully.  It doesn't matter how hard I try to be careful, many times the klutz in me comes out instead.  Whether is breaking something that's delicate (it's why I try not to own anything that will break too easy), twisting my knee (more times than I can count), or hitting myself in the face while signing (I think my depth perception must be off, but the kids get a laugh out of it), I struggle with being careful.

And the fact that this verse declares about us being carefully joined together in Christ is beautiful.  He treats us with care.  But not only that, we each have a specific place, a specific design in his house, as his church.  He places us with care, knowing our uniqueness.  He knows our desires, our gifts, our passions.  He's created us to fit perfectly and carefully into the body, into his temple.

Because he has redeemed us and bought us, we are his holy temple. The Greek for the word that is translated holy is hagios. The word implies something that is set apart or different.  Something that is distinguished, distinctive, and unique. Which is what we are to be in Christ.  We are to be like him and different from the world.

I love it because God knows our uniqueness and uses that to place us carefully and perfectly.  And, as a body of believers, all our uniqueness that he has given us comes together to form a temple for him that is unique and distinctive.  It has the very essence of Christ written all over it.  It's built into the walls and stamped in the concrete.

It's beautiful.

Thankfulness...


111. Uniqueness that has Jesus written all over it


112. The need to use my sunglasses for more than just the glare off the snow.

113. Celebrating the little holidays in fun ways.


114. A desk with a white board top to write my to-do  list and shopping lists on.




115. Knowing that spring is coming!


116. Early bedtimes.


117. Chocolate cupcakes. Yum!


118. Students who want and ask for my help!!


119. Weekends


120. The things that make having a cold more bearable.

121. Skype dates with the bestie.


122. Translating music in ASL


123. Cracks in life


124. Everyday silliness


125. Hot Vanilla Chai Tea with Truvia


126. A friend who understands translating problems and is willing to help work through them.

The Road Through Ephesus... Jesus Ephesians 2:20

After a rather stressful ending to last week (brand new car on the side of the road 5x's in the middle of nowhere Indiana), I'm back.  The weather is rather beautiful down here right now.  It's in the 40s and I love it.  I'd prefer 60s to 70s, but any increase over 35 is almost spring like.  It even smells like spring!  It really is coming!  Of course, they're predicting snow flurries sometime this week, but *hopefully* no accumulation.

So as winter starts to melt away, I thought we could get a little bit closer to finishing chapter two in Ephesians.  We are actually almost finished with chapter two!  Here we go!

Ephesians 2:20

"Together, we are his house, built on the foundation of the apostles and the prophets. And the cornerstone is Jesus Christ himself."

Word pictures.  I love them.  I love that Paul compares us to a house in this verse.  Now, I'll admit, I don't know really anything about building a house.  But I do know that if your foundation isn't good, your house is pretty much, well, worthless.  So when this says that we are Jesus' house and our foundation is the apostles and the prophets, our foundation is the teachings of Jesus and Jesus himself. Because that's what the apostle's and the prophet's taught: Jesus.

It serves as a reminder to be careful with who we listen to.  I know there's been a lot of controversy with one pastor lately about whether or not what he is teaching is contrary to the Word of God.  And while I might debate you on this issue (provided we're on opposing sides) until I'm blue in the face, I believe that God's Word is the final word.  And that his Word is what our foundation should be.  Human opinion really doesn't matter in the long run, but what God has to say about a topic matters greatly.

And then I got excited about the last part of this verse too.  "And the cornerstone is Jesus Christ himself." Yes, I went and looked up the word cornerstone.  Don't laugh.  You know I love words. :-)  And these are some of the definitions I found:

"Something that is essential, indispensable, or basic"
"A person or thing of prime importance..."
"Vital element"

And then some synonyms:

"anchor"
"base"
"essential"
"key element"
"pillar"

I love that third definition: "vital element".  Jesus is a vital element.  In reality, he is the element.  The cornerstone, from what I understand, is part of the foundation.  It's basis for the rest of the building.  It's the starting point.  Where everything is built off of.

Because when it really comes down to it, the main point, the only point, is Jesus.  Off of him, everything else is built.  So as we study scripture ourselves and learn from pastors, teachers, and others, let's remember to go back to Jesus.  Make sure that everything you are learning lines up with Jesus and who he is.

Jesus is what our faith is.


Thankfulness...


101. Growing up with Pastors who teach God's Word... and encourage me to check it out myself


102. Scripture to study


103. Friends to discuss difficult topics with


104. The vital element of faith: Jesus


105: Weekends in Michigan


106: Parent's letting me borrow their car while mine's in the shop


107: Spring is coming!!


108: Allergy meds... because spring is coming!!!!


109: Long hugs from my best friend.


110: Cuddling with my dad, because I was cold (or for any other reason)

The Road Through Ephesus... Members Ephesians 2:19

We had three school cancellations this last week.  And as much as I like sleeping in, cabin fever hits rather quickly at times.  By day three of no school I was more than ready to go back.  We were out of school more than in last week.  And of course the reason was the weather.  I can't wait for spring!

The funny thing is that even with three days off, I didn't get a ton done.  I got my hair cut and studied a little for the EIPA written test, but other than that I was fairly unproductive.

So in an effort to get back into being slightly productive, I thought we could dive back into Ephesians.

Ephesians 2:19

"So now you Gentiles are no longer foreigners and strangers.  You are citizens along with all God's holy people.  You are members of God's family."

I don't know if you've ever felt like you didn't quite belong.  I know I've been there.  If you can imagine it, I wasn't your "typical" high school student.  I wasn't a risk taker, I hated roller coasters, and I was fairly sheltered growing up.  I cared a lot about academics and got along better with adults than my peers.  All of this made me feel like I didn't necessarily fit the mold of "normal" (not that normal actually exists). I didn't know all the latest music trends (and frankly unless it was in Christian music, I didn't care) and I was pretty picky about the movies I saw.  All of that to say, I never quite felt like I "fit in" with that group.  Sure I had some friends, but there were other places I definitely fit better.

And maybe that's why I connect with this verse so much. I have somewhere that I "fit in".  I belong.  I'm home.  I'm a member.

There's power in having a group of people support you.

"A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back to back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken."

We need people in our lives.  Belonging to God's family gives us that opportunity.

This week I want to challenge you (and me) to stop and take a look at the people God has put in your life to show you that you belong.  Take a look at the people that have your back.  Take some time and thank God that you are no longer a stranger, but that there are people who will stand with you to fight your battles.  And be that for someone this week.  Be someone who tells another person that you're there.  That they belong.  And that when they're too weak to fight, you'll fight for them.

Be who God created the church to be.

The Road Through Ephesus... Go to God Ephesians 2:18

We have a snow day today.  And while I relish the chance to sleep in and the time to get stuff done that I didn't think I was going to be able to get done, I'd really like the snow to go away.  Even though it means allergy season (for me) is right around the corner. I'm ready for a change in the weather!

So anyways, the snow day is why I'm posting so much earlier than I normally do.  And I debated for some time about what to post about. I debated if I should deviate from normal and post about hugs and how much I like them just because I'm in a rather random mood, or if I should stick to posting about Ephesians because I'm pretty excited about this next verse.

For the record, I chose Ephesians (though I guess you also now know how I feel about hugs).

Ephesians 2:18

"Now all of us can come to the Father through the same Holy Spirit because of what Christ has done for us."

I love this verse.  I love the truth that is in it.  I love the reminder it gives me.  That I can approach God. That I can have a relationship with the creator of the universe. It's beautiful.  We have a confidence in approaching God (1 John 5:14).  We can go to him when we need something, when we are rejoicing, when we just need to talk.  We have nothing to fear in approaching him.

I love that.  I don't know about you, but my dad's pretty great.  I have no fear about approaching him.  Whether it's for a hug, to cuddle, or to talk something out, I know I can go to my dad.

It's the same with God.  Because of what Christ did for us on the cross, we can approach him without reservation.  Sometimes I just want to be near my dad, feel his strength and his love.  Sometimes the same is true with God.  I just want to be near him.  I want to feel his strength and his love and know that everything will be okay.  Because I serve a big God.  And while it may not work out exactly the way I want it to, just being near him is enough to calm my heart.

And I hope this post doesn't seem really random and like I jumped topics a lot, because I don't know about you, but I think I need to spend some more time going to God.

This week will you join me?  Will you spend time going to God, telling him what's on your heart, and just knowing that he is strong and loves you?  Because this is the same God that is with you, who is mighty to save, who sings over you with rejoicing, who's love calms and quiets you, and who is in the midst of everything you are going through (Zephaniah 3:17) .  Go to him.  You won't regret it.

The Road Through Ephesus... Peace and Freedom Ephesians 2:17

There is white stuff falling from the sky again. And have I mentioned how much I hate scraping my car?  However, scraping my car makes me thankful that I have a car to drive, so I guess it's not all bad.  Just not what I want to do every morning/afternoon.

But enough about the dismal weather conditions.  I'm in the mood for some good news instead, so I thought we could jump back into Ephesians.  I hope that's okay with you, and if it's not then you can stop reading here.

So. Here we go.

Ephesians 2:17

"He brought this Good News of peace to you Gentiles who were far away from him, and peace to the Jews who were near."

I want to focus on a few words here: "Good News of peace".  The Good News.  The Gospel.  Jesus coming to earth, living as a man a perfect life, dieing on the cross, taking our sins upon himself, being buried, and rising again three days later.  But if you look, Paul (the writer of Ephesians) adds a description of "this Good News".  He calls it one of peace.  How often do we really look at God's words as being a source of peace?  I know that too often I forget this and it's not until I'm in way over my head and I turn back to the Good News that I find peace again.

When I was looking up the word peace in the dictionary (because I love words), I noticed that several of the definitions started with the words "freedom from..." And that's what the Gospel is.  It's freedom.  It's freedom in Christ.  It's freedom to not "do what your sinful nature urges you to do." (Romans 8:12)  It's not the fake freedom that the world offers.  It's freedom to follow Christ.

Do we actively pursue that freedom?  Do we live like we're free?  Or do we walk around day in and day out as if we are still in chains?  If we believe in Christ and trust the work he did on the cross for us, then we are free.  It's a truth we need to believe.  Sadly, we often put ourselves back in bondage.  We willing enter that oppression.  Here's the good news: That bondage we put ourselves in is a lie.  We are FREE!

Let's start believing the truth of John 8:36:

"So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free."

The Road Through Ephesus... Reconciliation Ephesians 2:16

The weather has been fabulous the last few days.  Sadly it seems to be coming to an end. It was a nice break from the frigid temperatures but alas, it's back to winter.  For one of the first times ever, I really can not wait until it's spring!  Other news in my life: I had three high school freshmen boys decide that they wanted to try to set me up with someone.  They didn't have anyone in particular in mind, they just wanted me to be dating someone since I've never had a boyfriend, never dated, and never been asked out.  I was left slightly speechless when this conversation came up. Oy Gevalt!!

Anyways, I thought today might be a good time to jump back into Ephesians.  I know it's been a little while but I want to start doing this a little more regularly again.  So, with that said...

Ephesians 2:16

"Together as one body, Christ reconciled both groups to God by means of his death on the cross, and our hostility towards each other was put to death."

I was looking at this verse and the word reconciled caught my attention.  So with my love of words, I looked it up in the dictionary and the thesaurus.  The word comes from Latin meaning "to come together again". For definitions we had "to restore" or "to settle". And then my favorite, synonyms: to make up, to make peace, to resolve.  I love that through Christ's death on the cross, he brought two totally opposite groups together.  Not only did he bring them together, he restored their relationship, he resolved their differences.  Christ is the ultimate reconciler.

And maybe I love this because I'm such a peace maker. I hate to see people fighting or at odds with each other.  It leaves me feeling uneasy.  Yet, so often in the church, in our daily relationships, we aren't at peace with each other.  So often we allow conflict to drive us apart.  Which is horribly sad.  Maybe it's time to let Christ reconcile us with each other again.  Maybe we should start to take Romans 12:18 to heart:

"Do whatever it takes to live in peace with everyone." 

Are you with me?

The Road Through Ephesus...Believe Ephesians 2:15

It's cold outside in case you haven't noticed.  Bitterly cold.  Normally I don't mind winter.  It actually used to be one of my favorite seasons.  This year I can't wait for spring. Breezy days in the 70s.  It sounds a little bit like heaven right now as the wind chill is below 0. I'm praying for an early spring, even if it means horrible allergies.

But enough about the weather, it will change soon enough and then I'll probably think it's too hot :-)  Let's talk about something that isn't going to change: God's word.

Yep, you guessed it.  It's time to go back to Ephesians.  I'll be honest. I struggled finding a way to relate to this verse.  I struggled to hear what God was saying to me in this specific verse.  I don't know why.  But I hope that now that I feel like I have something to share with you, that I can find the words to do so.  So, here we go.

Ephesians 2:15

"He did this by ending the system of law with its commandments and regulations. He made peace between  Jews and Gentiles by creating in himself one new people from the two groups."

At first as I looked at this verse, I immediately focused on the second part. I focused again on unity.  But as I thought about it I realized that I had written on unity before.  And while I think it's an important topic and one that we don't actually accomplish much in the way of, I felt like I had spoke my piece on the subject and maybe I was missing something else.  So as often happens, when I started writing this blog post I typed the verse and still had no idea what I was going to write on.  And as I looked at the verse for what must have been the millionth time, I finally saw it.  Apparently I'd missed the first part of the verse this whole time.

Go back.  Read the first sentence.  I'll wait until you see it too.

Did you see it?

"He did this by ending the system of law with its commandments and regulations."  With Jesus' death, burial, and resurrection, the law, with all of the commandments and regulations, rules and procedures, was finished.  He ended it.  It no longer exists.  Do you understand the freedom that comes from that?  Not freedom to do whatever we choose, but freedom in Christ.  To love him and to obey him out of that love.

It reminds me of Romans 7.

^"4 So, my dear brothers and sisters, this is the point: You died to the power of the law when you died with Christ. And now you are united with the one who was raised from the dead....⁶ But now we have been released from the law, for we died to it and are no longer captive to its power. Now we can serve God, not in the old way of obeying the letter of the law, but in the new way of living in the Spirit."

I love it.  My heart beats a little bit faster when I read this.  Not only because the law no longer has power over us, but because we can serve God in a new way, by living in the Spirit.  It's power cannot hold us captive any longer unless we give it that power.  We now live in the freedom to serve God, to love him through the Spirit's power.

And yet, my heart also becomes a little sad when I read this.  Because I know that all too often I choose to live as if I'm still under the law.  As if I don't have the freedom that Christ has given.  I choose to live with guilt and shame, even after I've been forgiven.  But here's the good news.  Just as I choose to live this way, I can also choose to live God's truth.  That I am forgiven.  That I am free.  That I am loved.  That "there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ" (Romans 8:1).

I heard it said the other day that if you see a promise in God's word, you claim it.  A commandment, you obey it.  And if you see a truth, you have to believe it.  There is no other way.

So this week, will you join me in choosing to believe the truth?  In choosing to believe God? I hope so.  And I'll be praying for you. Please be praying for me.

The Road Through Ephesus...Drawn Ephesians 2:14

Well. It's been a while since I posted on Ephesians, so I thought I would start unpacking what God is speaking to me in this next verse.  It amazes me every time I approach this how much he teaches me.  It amazes me how much he reteaches me because I apparently wasn't paying attention the first time. I hope it's the same for you as you dive into these scriptures.  I pray that God is revealing more and more of himself to you.

Now, on to Ephesians.

Ephesians 2:14

"For Christ himself has brought peace to us. He united Jews and Gentiles into one people when, in his own body on the cross, he broke down the wall of hostility that separated us."

To me, this verse speaks of a promise that has been fulfilled.  It tells me that Christ promised peace to us and he has given us that peace in himself when he was on the cross.  What a breathtaking picture.   I know I've written before on here about how Christ is united with each believer.  But this verse takes the theme of unity and pushes it further.  Not only are we to be united to Christ, but we are also to be united to other believers.  We are to live in peace with them.  Hostility has no place in our relationships with other believers (really it has no place whatsoever, but especially in the context of relationships between believers).

Christ desires his church, his bride to be unified.  To be of one mind. He even prayed for that:

"I am praying not only for these disciples but also for all who will ever believe in me through their message.  I pray that they will all be one, just as you and I are one--as you are in me, Father, and I am in you.  And may they be in us so that the world will believe you sent me."

John 17:20-21

How it must sadden him to see all the arguing and bickering that occurs in churches today.  It wasn't his plan at all for it to be that way!  How often do we take the petty little things and blow them up to huge proportions? Don't get me wrong. There are certain things that every Christian should believe.  But too often we get caught up in preferences, in the nonessentials, that we miss the big picture: the world is supposed to be drawn to Christ through our love for each other (and them) and our unity.

How well are we doing drawing the world to Jesus?

The Road Through Ephesus... Inseparable Ephesians 2:13

I'm back.  I'm back in Indiana.  I'm back to blogging.  And I hope to not leave you for too long again.  If I do, read the post below this to find out what you should do.  I know it's been awhile but I want to jump back into Ephesians with you if that's okay.  I'm pretty excited about this next verse and I hope you all are excited about this as well.

Ephesians 2:13

"But now you have been united with Christ Jesus. Once you were far away from God, but now you have been brought near to him through the blood of Christ."

This is good news.  It's not dark or dreary. It's hope  It's life. It's Jesus.  My heart is happy and content after reading this. Realizing the truths in this verse, listening to Jesus whisper to me through this verse, makes my heart full.  Look at the first part. "...you have been united with Christ Jesus."  I looked up the word united, because if you know me, you know I have an obsession with words. And if you didn't already know, united comes from the Latin root meaning "one".  Which is cool, because if you read it that way it says that we have become one with Christ Jesus.  We're not just good friends.  We are inseparable from Christ.  People shouldn't be able to tell the difference between us.  So cool.  And so not how I live most of the time.  I'm pretty sure that most people can see how I'm not like Jesus.  Which is sad, because I want to be inseparable.  I want people to look at me and think Jesus.

But the verse goes farther, it explains itself.  Not only have we become one with Jesus, but we were far from God and through the blood of Jesus we have been brought close to him.  Through Jesus.  Not righteous living, not anything I've done (or haven't done), not through a religion, but through a relationship with God's Son.  God's Son, who came down from heaven, lived as a perfect human, was beaten, bruised, and killed by crucifixion, and rose from the dead, did all of that for me.  His blood brought us close to God.  It wasn't through the perfect life he led.  It wasn't through the sickness he healed.  It wasn't through the mute he made speak.  It was through the blood he shed on the cross.

How often I take that blood for granted.  I forget what it cost Jesus to reconcile with me.  Too often I treat this precious gift with disdain and ungratefulness.  This week I want to remember the blood.  The blood that Jesus shed for us. For me.  I want to live in such a way this week that I remember what it cost to reconcile me with God and what it cost to make me and Jesus inseparable.  As I heard today, the only lasting motivational influence is love, and what greater love has ever been displayed than that of Jesus' shed blood for me.

Let's live it.

The Road Through Ephesus... Hope Ephesians 2:12

I am so excited to go home for Thanksgiving in a a few days!  I am beyond ready to see family and friends and the metro Detroit area.  It's really funny, because every time I drive home I am reminded how much of a Michigander I truly am.  When I cross the border into Michigan, never mind that I still have about 2.5-3 hours left to drive, I become giddy with excitement because of that welcome to Michigan sign.  It's wonderful.  Not that Indiana isn't nice, but there's just something about Michigan.  Probably because most of my family is there, but whatever the reason, I love it!

Anyways, let's jump back into Ephesians.  I am so excited for this time with you.  I have been fighting exhaustion for the past couple of days and this time of diving into the Word with you refreshes me so much.  So, here we go!

Ephesians 2:12

"In those days you were living apart from Christ. You were excluded from citizenship among the people of Israel, and you did not know the covenant promises God had made to them. You lived in this world without God and without hope."

This verse seems to paint a pretty bleak picture doesn't it? But here's the good news: this was before we met Christ.  This was our previous state.  We were living without Christ and because of that we were living without hope in a world that so desperately needs hope to survive.  We didn't know the first thing about the promises of God and what they meant to us.  We didn't have a relationship with God.  We had no hope.

I think that's the part of this verse that keeps hitting me over the head right now.  We had no hope. We were living without God, going our own way, and because of that, we had no hope.  We were hopeless, until we met Jesus.  When we encountered Jesus and entered into a relationship with him, our whole lives were changed.  We had hope.  Suddenly, the world wasn't pushing us down and crushing the life out of us.  There was a ray of light, a life line, a hope and his name was Jesus.  I love that this verse directly relates us being without hope to us being without God.  Because Jesus didn't just bring hope, he IS hope.  He is our hope for the future and for now.  What a beautiful promise!

But do we live like Jesus is our hope?  Do our lives reflect that truth?  Can a person who doesn't know me see that I live a hopeful life, a life that radiates Jesus?  I think it is so easy for us to become hopeless and to not look any different than the world around us.  If you just watch the news for a few minutes, it's easy to become discouraged.  But that's where our hope in Jesus comes in.  Jesus didn't promise to make everything better here on earth, right here and now, but we do have his promise that there is hope for the future.  One day everything will be perfect again.  One day our hope will be realized and seen.  But for now, it takes faith in that hope.  It takes faith in Jesus.  That he will do what he has said he will do.

Let's keep our eyes focused on our hope this week.

The Road Through Ephesus...Affected Hearts Ephesians 2:11

I'm back.  FYI it's really hard to get back into the habit of writing and I really need to because it relieves so much stress to just sit and write about what God is teaching me. So I'll try to do better, and if I don't you all can yell at me on here so I'll come back and write.

So, I'm really glad that you have stuck with me even through this time.  Let's jump back in together.

Ephesians 2:11

"Don't forget that you Gentiles used to be outsiders. You were called 'uncircumcised heathens' by the Jews, who were proud of their circumcision, even though it only affected their bodies and not their hearts."

I don't know if you all have ever been outsiders before, but it's not a lot of fun.  Which is why I am so thankful that God's gift of salvation is for everyone now.  And while we're never to forget that we were outsiders once, I think that we can all learn something from the Jews.  They were so proud to be part of God's chosen people, yet that knowledge didn't affect their hearts.  It didn't affect the way they lived their lives.

As Christians, how often does the knowledge of what God has done for us make us proud of the fact we're Christians, but we don't allow anything about it to shape our lives?  Our lives should be affected by the work God is doing in our lives. Knowledge isn't enough.  Too often just knowledge can lead to major problems.  If you don't act on that knowledge, you are worse off than someone who doesn't have that same knowledge.

I haven't told a lot of people this, but my best friend and I are memorizing the book of James together.  I'm finished with chapter one, but can I tell you the biggest fear I had going into this?  Simply that I would memorize all these words, but that's as far as they would go.  I was afraid that I would not allow them to change my life and the way I acted.  It's still a big fear.  How is my life going to change because of what I memorize?  How will I let it affect my life?  Just knowing what God says is not enough, you have to do it  You have to obey.  I have to obey. Seriously, go read James 1:22-25 (Yes, I'm giving you homework :-)

This week, this month, for the rest of our lives, let's let our knowledge of God, his commandments, and his words change the way we live.  Let's let it affect our hearts.  Let's be different than the Jews. It's time to let go of the pride and allow God's life changing words to truly do that, to truly change our lives.

The Road Through Ephesus...Masterpiece with a Purpose Ephesians 2:10

So I am sick once again.  Head colds are horrible!  But I was so excited when I read the next verse in Ephesians last night that I just had to post anyway.  So bear with me if this doesn't make a lot of sense, I am fighting the fog.

Let's just jump right in, my brain isn't understanding "small talk".

Ephesians 2:10

"For we are God's masterpiece.  He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago."

Wow.  Read that verse and just let it soak into your heart.  You are God's masterpiece.  I wanted to look up that word to make sure I understood what it meant.  Here's the definition I found, "a person's greatest work..." (dictionary.com).  You are God's greatest creation.  The icing on the cake.  The grand finale. The pinnacle.  You are a masterpiece.  If that doesn't just thrill your heart, I don't know what will.  And then look at what follows: the reason we are God's masterpiece.  "He has created us anew in Christ Jesus,..."  We are no longer disfigured from sin; we are created new. We are now to look like Jesus.  When God looks at us he sees Jesus.  How amazing is that?

And then the reason we are made new: "so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago."  Wow.  He created us with a purpose.  He had a plan way before time began that involved you.  To me, that literally screams his love for me.  The creator of the universe had a plan for me.  Not just for the human race but for ME.  I'm not a number on a list.  I'm not just "that girl with the dark brown hair and eyes".  I'm not just one in 6 billion.  I was thought of before time began.  God put together a plan for me and my life way before I was born.  I was created for a purpose: to do the will of the one who created me.

Do I live out this purpose?  Do you live out this purpose?  Is every day a day that we wake up and say, "What good things do you want me to do today Jesus?" How do you live out your purpose every day?  I know that all too often I forget that I have a purpose.  Instead, I fret and moan and complain about the situations in my life that I don't understand.  When what I should be doing is the good works that God has prepared and planned for me to do.  When what I should be doing is encouraging, uplifting, and serving.  It means that I have to take my eyes off myself and put them back on my savior.  What a challenge for all of us to truly live like this.  To live like we have a purpose every moment of every day.

Let's live like we have a purpose.

The Road Through Ephesus... Salvation Boasting Ephesians 2:9

I have a new computer!!  The repairs took so long that they decided to just give me a new one!  So hopefully now I'll get back in the habit of writing.  I have missed it, contrary to one might think by my lack of posts.  But anyways, I'm really excited to jump right back into this with you!  You have no  idea how much I love diving into Ephesians with you... it is sometimes the best part of my week... I get to spend some time with Jesus and all the lovely people out there who read this (who I don't even know, because apparently my blog is read internationally!  Who would of thunk?)

So, Ephesians.  Yay!  So excited!

Ephesians 2:9


"Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it."

I don't know about you, but this verse gives me so much hope.  I am so glad that my salvation is not dependent on what I do or don't do.  But how often do my actions reflect that truth?  Seriously, do I live my life like nothing I do can increase or decrease God's love for me?  Or do I still act like I can make God love me more?  Which in my head I know is rather ridiculous.  I mean, just look at this verse.  It lays out exactly what God thinks about that subject, yet, there are times, more often than not, that I do things to try and gain God's favor.  But you can't gain something you already have.

Which is why this verse is both life giving and convicting.  It's why my heart beats a little faster when I read it. Because it's not that I don't have to do anything to earn salvation, it's that I can't.  I can never be good enough, spiritual enough, or righteous enough to earn anything.   Look at how Isaiah says it, "...When we display our righteous deeds, they are nothing but filthy rags...." (Isaiah 64:6b).  My righteous deeds mean nothing.  They are still dirty in God's sight.  But that's the amazing part. That's why we need a Savior.  That's why we need Jesus. Because he makes us righteous and holy.

And we can't boast about it, because we had nothing to do with it.  All we can boast about is Jesus, and what Jesus did for us on the cross.  Which, if you ask me, is something pretty amazing to be telling people.

1 Corinthians 1:31

"Therefore, as the Scriptures say, "If you want to boast, boast only about the Lord."

So this week, let's boast about Jesus.  About his amazing grace.  About his extravagant love.  About the beauty of his redemption.  About the glory of the cross.  Jesus is the only one worthy to be boasted about.

The Road Through Ephesus... Saving Gift Ephesians 2:8

I love fall.  I love the colors, the coolness in the air, and the bonfires.  When the weather starts to turn a little cooler and I can wear my jeans and sweatshirts, I fall into an instant good mood.  Summer's funa and all, but nothing beats fall.  I realize that I haven't posted on the Ephesians portion of this blog for awhile now.  I still don't have my laptop back, and it just meant that I had to set up everything again when I finally got a loaner laptop (they had already had my computer for 4 weeks at that point... it'll be 6 this Saturday).  But, I am back, for now at least (this loaner seems to be rather tempermental at times).

So without further ado, let's jump back into Ephesisans 2!

Ephesisans 2:8

"God saved you by his grace when you believed.  And you can't take credit for this; it is a gift from God."

Allow this verse to penetrate the walls of your heart.  Let it resonate within you.  This is what our realtionship with God really all comes down to.  "God saved..."  Really you could stop the verse there and be done.  It pretty much sums everything up and it's a complete sentence.  Because that's really what's important here... "God saved..."  I love that this verse starts with what God does.  I love that it could technically end there too, but it doesn't.  God explains.  Because, let's face it, us humans can be down right dense at times.  Sometimes it takes reiteration of the point for it to sink in (and even then it can take us awhile to grasp it).  And since I love to look at synonoms to further understand, check this out:  God rescued, God delivered, God redeemed, God reclaimed, God restored, God bailed out, God liberated, God unshackeled, God salvaged, God saved...  Wow.  The picture that all those words together paints is breath-taking.  Do you see it?  Is your heart as enthralled as mine is? 

What makes my heart beat even faster is the who he did this for...  now add the next word of the verse onto all those synonoms for saved:  God resuced YOU,  God delivered YOU, God redeemed YOU, God reclaimed YOU, God restored YOU, God bailed out YOU, God liberated YOU, God unshackeled YOU, God salvaged YOU.  Doesn't that make your heart beat just a little bit faster with the knowledge of how much God loves you?

The last part of this verse makes me aboslutely giddy: "...it is a gift from God."  I don't know about you, but I love gifts.  Birthday gifts (which is happening soon), Christmas gifts, gifts for absolutely no particular reason... I love them all.  And I don't know about you, but usually I only give gifts to people I really care about.  If you're not that important to me, you usually don't get a gift (as always there are exceptions).  But think about God's gift in that light.  You are important to God, so he gave you this gift of salvation.  Wow.

But what are you doing with this gift he's given you?  What am I doing with this gift he's given me?  Am I living my life as if I have been given a precious and priceless treasure (which I have been)?  Or do I treat it like the kid who opens up underwear on Christmas morning?  Do we treasure this gift or do we let it sit in the top of our closets for years because we feel we have no use for it?

Sadly, too often, I think that I take this gift for granted.  I don't live like the gift I've been given is precious to me.  Too often I live my life on my terms without regard to the gift that God has given me.

What about you?  How are you living?  This week, together, let's live with a constant gratitude for the gift God has given.

The Road Through Ephesus... Living Billboards Ephesians 2:7

It's really warm here today.  Like in the 90s warm. I much prefer it to be cooler than it currently it and am hoping that the temp drops a little for the rest of the week.  Anyways.  We are 5.6% done with the school year as of today.  There are days when I don't know if that is depressing or exciting.  But I'm going to try to look at it as a positive thing.

But enough about the weather and school... those are some pretty boring subjects.  Instead let's get started with some more Ephesians!!

Ephesians 2:7

"So God can point to us in all future ages as examples of the incredible wealth of his grace and kindness towards us, as shown in all he has done for us who are united with Christ Jesus."

I don't know about you, but I love people examples.  I love people who I can look up to or who I can point out to others as someone they can look up to.  I love watching people live out their faith and knowing that they're looking a little bit like Jesus right then and there.  But even more that looking at other people as examples, I love being an example.  I love knowing that the way that I choose to love God and express that love for him may be pointing others a little closer to Jesus.  That's one of the reasons I think this verse is so cool.  God uses us as examples!  He has poured our an incredible wealth of grace and kindness and then uses us as examples for all future people to point out his extravagance.  We are walking billboards for the goodness of God.  Everything that God did for us in fusing us with Christ is an example of his goodness and mercy.

That is what is so cool about our stories.  Each one of us has a unique and personal story of our lives.  But the one thing that they should all have in common if we are followers of Christ, is that they should all point to God's mercy, grace, kindness, and redemption.  Our lives are to be examples of the goodness of our God.

But even as I type this, I have to wonder if my life is being an accurate "billboard" for God's grace towards us.  While I may have experienced it in my own life, an example or a "billboard" is meant to be shared.  It's not meant to be kept to yourself.  You can't be an example to anyone if you don't let people see what God has done in your life.  So that's the questions I keep coming back to.  Is my life a living example, a living billboard of God's grace and mercy, his kindness and mercy?

What about your life?  Do people look at you and see evidence of the goodness of God?  Or do you hide what God is doing in your life from the people around you?  

Let's be those living billboards.