Insanity!!!

I've fallen in love.... with the book of Ephesians. It is seriously a-maz-ing!!! I decided to read it last night because two of the cards I got for graduation had the same verse from Ephesians in them and when I read the verses in the cards, they rocked my heart. So of course, not having the cards in front of me last night as I was spending time with Jesus, I had to read the whole book of Ephesians and let it all just rock my heart. While I was doing that, I had an enormously crazy thought. It was seriously downright insane. I started thinking, what if I went verse by verse through Ephesians on my blog. I keep finding all these gems and I want to share them, but that would make a reeeeeeaaaaaallllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllyyyy long blog message. I bet I would learn so much and be so challenged if I went through Ephesians verse by verse and blogged about what God was showing me.

So that's what I'm going to do.

There are 155 verses in Ephesians. Which means it will take me approximately 155 days to finish blogging through Ephesians. It will probably take a little less time than that, because there will probably be verses that I just can't split up, that I just have to do together.

I hope you all follow along and add your thoughts and comments to what you hear God speaking to your heart through these verses.

So let the adventure commence...

Thinking at Night....

I've been busy lately with graduating and then vacation so I haven't posted in about a month, but I can't wait to start posting more!!! So now as an official college graduate I write to you :-)

I was having some Jesus time last night and I came across a verse that blew me away. My mind is still working through the verse and processing it, but I thought I would share some of my thoughts anyways.

Here's the verse:

"I lie awake thinking of you, meditating on you through the night."

-Psalms 63:6

David was writing in this passage about longing for God. About desiring him. Think about it. When you lie awake at night thinking, what do you think about? For me it's usually the things I desire or want to see happen. I tend to daydream.

Yet this verse was so convicting. Too often as I lie in bed thinking, my thoughts are not of God and his goodness, his holiness, his mercy, his love. More often than not they're about a cute boy, a good friend, or future plans. Too often I think this is a reflection of what our hearts desire most. And that makes me sad, because it means that I desire all of these other things more than I desire God. Yes, sometimes I do lie awake at night thinking about him, meditating on what he has been teaching me lately. But more often than not, those aren't my thoughts.

I want that to change. I want my longing for God to trump all. I want my thoughts to clearly reflect the desire I have for God, the longing I have to just sit in his presence.

Still part of me is hesitant to do this. Perhaps because it means surrendering some of my dreams, what I think I desire. Yet, God knows my heart even better than I do. So, I'm holding on to another promise:

"Seek the kingdom of God above all else, and he will give you everything you need." Luke 12:31

Not everything I want, but everything I need. And not just part of what I need. He will gibe me EVERYTHING I need! Which if you consider it, God knows everything I need and everything I desire and His plans are, I'm sure, way cooler than mine.

"If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me." Jeremiah 29:13

God's Plans

So, if you haven't heard already, I'm not going to Utah this summer. I was disappointed at first because I had invested so much time into the application process, but the more I think about it the more I realize that in all honesty, I didn't want to go. I kept trying to convince myself that I did, but when I found out I wasn't going, one of my first feelings was relief (that was after the tears subsided). If I had been accepted, I would have gone because the way we were praying about the whole situation was that if God wanted me to go he would open the door or slam it shut. Acceptance would have meant an open door and that would mean that God wanted me there this summer.

The door was slammed shut. Which in my mind, means that God has a purpose and a plan for me hear this summer. I don't know what that is yet, but I really can't wait to find out.

However, the day I found out I wasn't going I was still feeling a little depressed (I mean, it was an amazing opportunity) and as I was spending my time with God I came across a verse I had underlined before. This verse was just confirmation to me that it was God who slammed that door shut and that he has plans for me in Michigan this summer.

(And FYI I think it's pretty amazing how God had me read that verse on that night. I mean, I've been reading through Isaiah, about two chapters every night and for that chapter to be on the exact night I wasn't accepted into the program was God. And I happen to think that's really cool.)

So, I know you're all probably wondering what the verse was, so I'll share it now.

Isaiah 22:22b

"When he opens doors, no one will be able to close them; when he closes doors, no one will be able to open them."

I just think that's really cool and I'm trusting God to continue opening and closing doors this summer in accordance with his plans.

Scripture

John 15:17


"This I command you: love one another."

Offering Grace...

I read something that made my heart hurt today.

Someone posted an article on Facebook about a Christian Music Artist who has come out of the closet. She's trying to reconcile her lifestyle with her faith. That in and of itself was enough to make my heart break a little, but what really made my heart hurt was what followed.

The article was on website that after people read the article they can post comments on and about the article. Reading those comments made my heart hurt. To see the hate that people proclaiming to be Christians was heartbreaking. I hate it!! Honestly, I don't agree with her lifestyle and the way that she is choosing to represent her faith. However, I have more of a problem with the arguing, hurtful comments, and misrepresentation of the Christian faith by those who leave comments on these articles.

Jesus commands us to love. How were these people's actions loving? How many people are continually turned off to Jesus because this is the "Jesus" they see?

I am by no means perfect. Trust me, I'm far from it. Yet, I hope when I fall, the Christians around me offer grace instead of condemnation, love instead of hate, and truth spoken in love instead of beating people over the head with it. And I pray that I have the same reaction to the Christians around me when they fall because I want to represent my Jesus the best way I know how: showing love, offering grace, and speaking the truth with love.

Random Thoughts...

I want to blog, but I really don't know what to say. So I would like to share with you some random thoughts.

I love the Deaf community. Their language is beautiful and so is their culture.

My Kairos girls rock my socks (when I wear socks and even when I don't :-) They are girls that love Jesus and love each other. They are real women and I love each one of their hearts.

I am in love with the song "Our God" by Chris Tomlin. So much so that I translated it into ASL and will preform it three times this weekend. It's a great song for a group of people to sing. The lyrics repeat and it has a simple melody. And it has amazing truth in it!

I don't like movie fads. I still refuse to watch LOTR and Twilight.

I actually like to write papers and I go through withdrawal during the summer and write papers for fun.

Possible internship update

Just an update about what is happening with the internship/classes/I really don't know what to call it :-)

Anyways, two weeks ago I was pretty sure that this would definitely not be happening. One of the parts of the application was to have taken and passed the written portion of the NIC (National Interpreter Certification) test. I went online and paid for the test on Tuesday March 9th. What I didn't realize until I paid for it was that it could be 1-2 weeks until I could register for the exam and then an additional 2-3 days before I received my confirmation letter. This freaked me out a little since I only had a week and a half until everything had to be postmarked. I sent out a mass Facebook message to 200 of my closest Facebook friends and an email to people who don't have a Facebook for people to be praying. I received my registration information that Friday and scheduled the exam for the following Friday. I then received my confirmation letter within minutes of registering. God is AMAZING!

So on Friday, March 19th, I took my NIC Written exam and passed it! I then put everything in the mail on Saturday, March 20th (the date everything had to be postmarked by). Now I have to wait. They have until April 15th to let me know whether or not I have been accepted into the program. It's hard to believe that after all that work, now all I have to do is wait. Seriously, I think this is the hard part now.