Thursday, October 24, 2013

Intentional Quiet

I love the quiet... and I crave the quiet most days.  Quiet is when I can sit still, when I can write, when my brain can slow down long enough to form coherent thoughts again, and when God does his best speaking to me.

That last one is probably because when it's quiet, I tend to listen better.

As I've made the transition into working full-time over the last few months, I've realized that I've had to become intentional with my quiet... with taking time to be alone.  And I've had to get creative at times.

I go to the gym, by myself, almost every weekday morning at 5:30 AM.  Partly because, in my opinion, 5:30 AM is too early to have a conversation with just about anyone, but also because when I'm working out, I can tune out the rest of the world.  No one expects me to carry on lengthy conversations.  It's okay to put my headphones in and ignore the world for a little while.  Every once in awhile I like having someone to work out with.  But I guard my alone time and you have to be pretty special in order for me to give that up.

At work, when I need a break from the hundreds of conversations going on around me, my headphones go in... and sometimes I don't even turn on my music (shhhh... don't tell anyone).  But with my headphones in, I can focus a little better and people think twice about interrupting me... usually :-)  Don't get me wrong... I LOVE my co-workers and I LOVE getting to talk to them.  But sometimes I need some quiet or I will go crazy.

I'm being intentional with taking care of me.

And that's GOOD.

Because when I take care of me, I'm a better friend, a better daughter, a better sister, a better person.

And I'm okay with that.  I'm learning, even more, to embrace the unique way God created me.  And I love that He knows me best and knows that when it's quiet is when I will listen the best.  It's when I'm energized and recharged and a lot of that has to do with the fact that it's God recharging me.

Yes, I'm an introvert.  But I still love people... I just need a break from you all every once in a while.  And I'm going to be intentional about it... so don't take offense :-)


Psalm 46:10

New Living Translation (NLT)
10 “Be still, and know that I am God!
    I will be honored by every nation.
    I will be honored throughout the world.”

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Writing...

I want to write.  It's been awhile since I've had that feeling.  After all, while I love my job, I do end up staring at a computer screen, reading and writing text for the better part of everyday, which makes it difficult to WANT to write when I get home.

But today the desire is there.  I want to write.

The problem?

I don't know what to write.

So I sit here and type random nonsense, hoping that at some point inspiration will kick in and I'll write something profound and meaningful and purposeful and just right for today.  But then I look at the clock and realize that I'm supposed to go to bed in a few minutes and I feel pressured and rushed and certain that nothing profound will come out of this post.

And, somehow, I'm okay with that.

Today I am okay with just getting words on "paper".  Because it means I'm writing again.  And it means that tomorrow, when I sit down to write, it will become a little bit easier because I have the beginnings of a habit.

Writing is cathartic... trying to spell cathartic, not so much...

Writing is me.