Thursday, November 19, 2015

Happy Re-Birthday #20

Today is my 20th "re-birthday". Today marks the decision that I made 20 years ago to follow Jesus.

It's been 20 years. 20 years of following Jesus, of running from Jesus, of good times, of hard times.  It's been 20 years with lots of changes.  I didn't fully understand 20 years ago what following Jesus meant.  What changes would happen.  What it would require.  But I understood enough to know I was a sinner who needed a savior.  And it's not a decision I regret.

And, as I've grown and come to understand more of what it means to follow Jesus, it's not a decision I take lightly.  My faith defines me.  Or at least I hope it does. My faith is the basis for the decisions I make and the way I live. And sometimes that's hard.  But even though it's not always easy, there's joy.  There's peace. There's hope.

Because I serve a big God.  A God who is the same yesterday, and today, and forever.  And while I may change and my circumstances may change, my God doesn't change.  His truth is still truth.  His love is still strong.  And he is still enough.

And that's why I've chosen him for 20 years.

Happy Re-birthday to me.

Saturday, June 27, 2015

My best laid plans...

I like plans.  And structure.  And I like them a lot.

I like how they move you places and give you a framework to build on once you're there.  I like how they map out the future and give me concrete things to work towards.

But over the last couple of weeks, God's been teaching me that I need to leave the plans to him and enjoy the moment I'm in.  Because sometimes, I get so caught up in the future that I'm planning out that I forget about the present I'm living in.

And that's when I freak myself out.

Because I start thinking about things that are about 15 steps past the point I'm currently living and I realize I'm not ready for those steps.

And I have to stop and remind myself: I'm not ready because I'm not there yet and God is still working things out. And when I do get there I will be ready because God has gone before me and prepared the way.  And he's prepared me.

He will teach me what I need to know by the time I need to know it.  Not before.

He will show me the way to walk when it's time to walk it.  Not before.

He will put the experiences in my life I need to prepare me when it's time for the preparation.  Not before.

My job is simply to trust, learn, and enjoy the moment.  To trust that God's got this all figured out even when I don't.  To learn what he is teaching my heart in that moment.  And to sit back and watch him show off because these moments are going to prepare me for the next moments... and I don't want to miss that.

I'm not saying I'm throwing out all my plans.  Plans can be good.  They can give focus and purpose. They can form a vision and gather a team.  They can motivate a team to reach a goal.

But when I'm living too much in the future and trying to make plans that aren't ready to be made, that's when I need to take a step back and just watch God work.  That's when I need to trust.  And that's when I need to just enjoy the moment God has given me to live right now.

And that's when the freaking out stops and the peace and joy take over.