I graduate in four months. That is both exciting and terrifying to me. Yes I'll be excited to have a four year BA degree. But I honestly have no idea what I'm supposed to do after graduation and that is scary. I like knowing. I like having a plan. I like to-do lists. I like structure and organization. And I don't like not knowing. And now I'll be stepping into the unknown.
Part of the problem is that there are 50 million (okay maybe not that many, but certainly a lot) of things I want to do, degrees I want to have, and life change that I want to happen. Sometimes I wonder if I'm truly missing it all and I'm not supposed to do any of the things that I think I want to do and I'm supposed to do something totally different.
Yet as much as I don't know my future, I know God does. Jeremiah 29:11 says that, "I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD..." He knows. It doesn't say that I know, it says that he knows. He knows what's next. He knows whether I'll go back to school (and for which degree), he knows if I'll go on a missions trip, he knows what he has planned for me and he won't fail me. He will take care of me. He knows so I don't have to worry and fret (which is a lot easier said then done).
My life doesn't belong to me. It belongs to him. And during this time of unknowns, I'll keep seeking and searching for his presence, because no matter what I end up doing, that's where I want to be: in his presence: worshipping, loving, being.