Trust

One of the first things that I do when I get to work in the morning is check out BibleGateway's verse of the day.  I love it.  It helps to set the mood of my day and when I get frustrated in the middle of the day, I steal a moment to stop in to my office to read it again.  It's so important for me to refocus throughout the day.  I take some time to reread the scripture from that morning and pray.  For my student, for myself, for the other students and staff I encounter everyday.

Anyways all that to say that I loved today's verse.  I love that I made it back to my office to read it at least three or four times today.  The verse was Jeremiah 17:7-8:

"But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him.  They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream.  It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit."

Today this was a reminder to trust in God. To put my confidence and hope in him.  To rely on him.  Because I want to be like that tree.  I don't want to fear when hard times, stressful times, and times of testing come.  I don't want to worry when emptiness seems to come flooding in. I don't want to worry when I feel lonely or just dry and tired.  I want to bear fruit. I want to be healthy and grow.  I want God's blessing.

I want to trust.  And I'm working on it.  It seems to be going slowly somedays.  The days when I want to go back to my office (which happens to be padded/sound proof) and scream for a few seconds or minutes depending on my mood.  And then there's the days that are good.  The days when I'm ready to work for longer because my student is getting things, or the rest of the students are behaving and I get to have some fun with them.

Trusting isn't easy.  But it's necessary. And it's coming.  Slowly, but it's happening.

Thankfulness

127.  Long walks on nice days


128. Beautiful spring days


129. Co workers who understand what I'm going through


130. Drew "creating" signs :-)


131. March Madness Craziness


132. New shorts that fit and are smaller than last summer's


133. A new summer/spring wardrobe that looks like spring/summer


134. Sitting cross legged.... it just makes me happy


135. The chance to observe other interpreters work


136. Popcorn

137. Text messages that encourage, make me laugh, and point me to Jesus
























 

Bigger

 This last week has been a little rough.  I'll be the first to admit it.  There were a couple of days that were rougher than others.  Some days were relaxing and beautiful.  Some days were full of stress and me screaming, "WHY?!?!?!"  But as I've had the chance to spend time outside this week, walking and taking in God's creation all around me, my spirit has become settled.  And as I read Isaiah 40, it speaks directly to my heart and leads me into a time of worship.  Here, read for yourself:

Isaiah 40:27-28

"O Jacob, how can you say that the LORD does not see your troubles?  O Israel, how can you say God ignores your rights?  Have you never heard?  Have you never understood?  The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth.  He never grows weak or weary. No one can measure the depth of his understanding."

So in the midst of my screaming "WHY?!?!?!", God didn't answer me.  He didn't tell me why such and such was happening, why I was in the middle of things, why I was having a crappy day.  And he doesn't have to.  He's the Creator of the universe and he doesn't owe me an explanation.  Yet he told me something that soothed my heart.  That calmed me and drew me to him.  He told me he understood.  He told me he saw.  And he told me that he was bigger than what was happening.  And for that moment, it was enough.

Honestly, a lot of the times when I'm upset or angry and I start talking to someone, I don't want them to fix it.  I just want them to listen. To hear what I'm saying.  To see and acknowledge that I am beyond frustrated.  To simply look at me and be understanding enough to let me vent.  And that's incredibly satisfying to my heart.  And usually I come to terms with things and can move on.

And that's what God promises in this passage.  He doesn't promise that everything will be okay.  He doesn't promise that pain and trouble will not happen.  He promises that he will see it, that he will not ignore it, that he understands it, and that, ultimately, he is bigger than it.

So when I'm weak and weary and ready to walk back to Detroit, he's strong and full of energy and ready to hold me.  He's in the midst of what I'm going through.  He understands people being stupid.  He understands how much I love these high schoolers and how much I want to see them know him and how much my heart aches when I see them not following him.

And he's so full of mercy and grace. Little snippets of conversations that make me hope that loving these kids isn't in vain.  Little breakthroughs that show me a glimpse of how God is working behind the scenes. Strength for confrontations I didn't want to have, but needed to happen.  And literal "signs" of love as I watch girls sign a song that I'm working with them on.  They are all reminders that God is listening.  That he is here.  And that he cares, deeply, for me.

God is truly amazing.

 

Surrender Plans

The weather is beautiful right now.  When I got home from another long, somewhat stressful day at work I slipped on flip flops for the first time in months.

Two members of the family have already headed out for a bike ride before dinner.  I'm hoping to take a walk later.

And even in all this beauty around me, the day has been a little stressful.  I'm reminded to surrender.  It's such a pesky word.  One that I don't really care for actually.  Because, let's face it, as much as I try to deny it, I like to be in control.  I like things done my way.  But surrender isn't only needed, it's necessary.

As I've walked through the past few days, and anticipate the next few, I've had to surrender my plans and my ways numerous times.  If I had had my way, in my perfect world, such and such a situation never would have happened.  But the truth is, it did happen.  And other stuff happens.  And it's not a perfect world.  I'm not perfect either.  However, I serve and know the one who is.  And he's asking me to, once again, surrender to his plans.  

I don't know what the future holds. But God does.  And as much as I'd like to tell him at times what I think it should hold, I'm choosing to surrender.  There are days when it's more of a struggle than normal.  And there are days when it doesn't seem to be a problem at all.  But everyday  needs to be one of surrendering and letting go. Letting God work in the middle of the messes.

I don't really know what's next.  So I'm waiting and praying and following God's leading with the people he's placed in my life right now.  And I know that whatever happens, God will get the glory, when I surrender to him.

       

Promise plans

Today was a stressful day.  It was stressful for many reasons that I actually can't tell you, so you'll just have to take my word for it.

Part of the reason it was/is so stressful is that I don't know what the end result will be. Which, when I stop and think about it, God never promised I would know.

And so today, I've been mediating and consumed with thoughts of his plans.  And several verses continued popping up in my head (and on my computer screen when I googled).  So as I reflect and trust what these verses say, I hope you will do the same.

"My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts," says the LORD. "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.

Isaiah 55:8

"For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."

Jeremiah 29:11

"But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations."

Psalm 33:11

 "The LORD Almighty has sworn, "Surely, as I have planned, so it will be, and as I have purposed, so it will stand."

Isaiah 14:24

And that's the hope that I have.  That even though I don't know God's plans: He does.  And he's proven himself faithful in the past and he will continue to be faithful in the future. And this I know: Every promise of God is true. So I will trust him. 

The Road Through Ephesus... Carefully and Uniquely Ephesians 2:21

Today is Pi day (3.14) and we are celebrating by having pot pies for dinner followed by a Hershey's Chocolate Creme Pie for dessert. Yum.  And the weather is beautiful outside and it promises to stay beautiful for most of this week.  So other than I'm still fighting a cold, this Monday has been pretty good so far.

And since it's been so wonderful, I thought maybe we could add to that and jump back into Ephesians.  We're almost at the end of chapter two!  I can hardly believe it!  Anyways, Ephesians:

Ephesians 2:21

"We are carefully joined together in him, becoming a holy temple for the Lord."

When I first looked at this verse there was one word that jumped out at me right away: carefully.  In this verse it describes how we are joined together in him.  And I love it.  Maybe because I have a hard time doing anything carefully.  It doesn't matter how hard I try to be careful, many times the klutz in me comes out instead.  Whether is breaking something that's delicate (it's why I try not to own anything that will break too easy), twisting my knee (more times than I can count), or hitting myself in the face while signing (I think my depth perception must be off, but the kids get a laugh out of it), I struggle with being careful.

And the fact that this verse declares about us being carefully joined together in Christ is beautiful.  He treats us with care.  But not only that, we each have a specific place, a specific design in his house, as his church.  He places us with care, knowing our uniqueness.  He knows our desires, our gifts, our passions.  He's created us to fit perfectly and carefully into the body, into his temple.

Because he has redeemed us and bought us, we are his holy temple. The Greek for the word that is translated holy is hagios. The word implies something that is set apart or different.  Something that is distinguished, distinctive, and unique. Which is what we are to be in Christ.  We are to be like him and different from the world.

I love it because God knows our uniqueness and uses that to place us carefully and perfectly.  And, as a body of believers, all our uniqueness that he has given us comes together to form a temple for him that is unique and distinctive.  It has the very essence of Christ written all over it.  It's built into the walls and stamped in the concrete.

It's beautiful.

Thankfulness...


111. Uniqueness that has Jesus written all over it


112. The need to use my sunglasses for more than just the glare off the snow.

113. Celebrating the little holidays in fun ways.


114. A desk with a white board top to write my to-do  list and shopping lists on.




115. Knowing that spring is coming!


116. Early bedtimes.


117. Chocolate cupcakes. Yum!


118. Students who want and ask for my help!!


119. Weekends


120. The things that make having a cold more bearable.

121. Skype dates with the bestie.


122. Translating music in ASL


123. Cracks in life


124. Everyday silliness


125. Hot Vanilla Chai Tea with Truvia


126. A friend who understands translating problems and is willing to help work through them.

The Little Things

As I sit here sipping my hot tea because I am once again sick, I'm thinking about the small things.  The things that by themselves don't seem all that important.

I happen to love the small things.  The little things that make me happy.  My favorite dessert (basically chocolate), my favorite worship song, a smile.

I think God speaks through the little things.  They're his love letters to us.

But sometimes we get so caught up in life that we miss the small things.  We miss the small signs that tell us that something big is going to happen.

I've definitely been there.  All of the sudden, one day, noticing that there are leaves on trees.  When if I had just been paying attention I would have noticed the small changes taking place.

So often in my own life, I just see what I want the end result to look like.  And I just know that I'm not there yet.  I forget to take time to rejoice in the small changes.  The changes that get me one step closer to where I need to be.  All those little changes add up.  All those little changes are growth.  And when there's enough little changes, it's like the leaves all of a sudden showing up on the trees or flowers sprouting from earth.  It's the little changes that make life, life.

Perhaps this year, I've been a little more in tune to the signs of spring.  After this long winter, I'm eager to see in any sign of spring.  This week I want to live in tune to the little things God is doing in my life.  I want to see the signs of his love.  I want to see little ways that I'm growing closer to him.  Because just as spring will eventually get here as each little change happens, so I will eventually look like Jesus as each little change occurs in my life.

"For I am about to do something new.  See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness.  I will create rivers in the dry wasteland."

Isaiah 43:19

 

Cracked and Broken

Psalm 2:9

"You will break them with an iron rod and smash them like clay pots."

That's literally what we did at the ladies day out at church today.  We smashed pots with a hammer.  It was an illustration of our brokenness.  And as I've sat here, thinking about it since, I've come to realize a few things I want to share with you.

We're all broken.  We're all messed up.  There is something wrong with all of us.  For some, it's just more apparent.  But let's be clear: we're all broken.

Proverbs 26:23

"Smooth words may hide a wicked heart, just as pretty glaze covers a clay pot."

Some of us just have more glaze covering us.

But there is one who can and will put us back together. He's the one that created us. Who loves us dearly.  Who holds us close and knows us intimately.

Isaiah 64:8

"And yet, O Lord, you are our Father. We are the clay, and you are the potter. We are all formed by your hand."

So we glued our pots back together.

Some of ours were more broken then others.  All had cracks.  None were perfect.

But those cracks, those imperfections, or in some cases, those big gaping holes are what God's glory and light shine through.  They are how people see Jesus in us.  They are how people see God's power in us and through us.

2 Corinthians 4:7

"We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure.  This makes is clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves."

My pot is sitting on my nightstand.  It's missing at least half the pot.  But it's beautiful for a very simple reason: it speaks to the redeemed, to the restored.  It tells of what God can do with brokenness. And it has that much of a bigger place for God's light to shine through.

And I pray that my life is the same: that the cracks and holes freely allow God's love, power, and light to shine through.