Warning: This post might not make sense. I hope it does, but who knows!
Last Thursday I was really fighting a spirit of depression. I was pretty much a complete mess. I didn't want to do anything, see anyone, or go anywhere. After a little while I sat down to do my homework for a Bible study I'm in on the book of Esther. (Beth Moore's Esther: It's tough being a woman). I was doing the first day's work and was really just praying and begging God for some word, some truth to be spoken into my life. One of the passages we had to read was from Ezra to get a little background information for the study. As I was reading in Ezra 1, I came across verse 5 and the first few words stopped me in my tracks: "Then God stirred the hearts..." Part of my frustration and depression lately has stemmed from feeling like I'm out of place, like I'm not where I'm supposed to be, only I don't know where I'm supposed to be. That verse made me think of a couple of things I'd like to share.
1. "Then..." God didn't stir right away. Other things had to happen first. God doesn't move on our time, he moves in his.
2. "...God..." It was God who did the stirring. It wasn't the people. It wasn't some crazy emotion that often seems to get the best of us. It was God.
3. "... stirred..." God moved. His Spirit prompted action. God gave direction.
4. "...the..." The is a specific adjective. He didn't stir some hearts, he didn't stir random hearts, he stirred specific hearts that he had chosen.
5. "...hearts..." More than one. God moved in his people not just a person. He moved the community to do (or to go as we find later in the verse) and he moved them from the center of their being, their hearts.
I think what hit me the most was that God stirred their hearts and God can (and will) stir mine as well. But it will be in his time, in his way. He will do the stirring, in his community, in the deepest part of our beings. God will stir us. He will stir us to go... and then he will tell us where.
One of my prayers this week has been that when God stirs my heart, I'll be paying attention and that I won't let my heart be stirred by what I think I want. I don't want my emotions or other people to cause my heart to stir: I want God to move my heart in his ways, in his time, and with his people around me.