Often I wonder how honest I really am with God. There are times when I stop and “edit” my prayers to God, which if I would stop and think about it, it’s really pretty silly. I mean, he is God. He does already know what I’m thinking, what I’m going through, what I just edited out.
Yet I think it’s one of the hardest things for me to do—to be honest with God. Maybe part of it is that it means I have to be honest with myself. Still I think it might have more to do with that I have a really hard time viewing God’s love as unconditional. So often I edit my prayers to make myself sound better when all I’m really doing is hiding and not letting God heal me and my brokenness. How many chances at healing have I missed because I’m too busy hiding who I really am from myself and from God (not that anything is really hidden from him anyway)?
But God’s love is unconditional. “While we were yet sinners, Christ died for our sins.” If that doesn’t scream unconditional love, then I don’t know what does. My problem isn’t believing it in my head, but rather, living like I believe it in my heart. My actions don’t demonstrate that I believe God’s love is unconditional. In fact, they often demonstrate exactly the opposite.
So, my goal is to live like I believe what I know to be true: God’s love is unconditional. Nothing I can do or say will ever change that, so honesty truly is the best policy. And, last but not least, healing can only take place when I let God heal me.