I have to say, I'm a bit overwhelmed. I haven't been on my blog in about a month. I've been moving back home to Michigan and celebrating my sister's graduation from highschool. In the midst of that all, I started looking at applying for Grad school. The program I'm looking at is a MA in Written Communication with an emphasis in Teaching Writing. And this weekend was just one of those weekends when I started questioning myself again.
As I found myself talking about future plans with old friends at grad parties, answering their questions about what I might be doing in the future and that I'm such a great writer, I heard these words come out of my mouth, more than once, in response to their praise: "Yeah, I guess..." Seriously??? I love to write. It's a passion. I love to teach. I've wanted to teach for years. And that's what comes out of my mouth when people tell me I have a gift?
But that was honestly how I was feeling. I was having trouble, once again, thinking that I am gifted in this area. I was having trouble believing that God had a purpose in my writing.
And then, just a few moments ago, I got on here. And I was literally blown away. In fact I almost started crying. You see, blogger has this tool that tells you how many people have read your blog on certain days (even specific hours if it's the current day), how they got to your blog, what country they're from, and a whole bunch of other things. It's pretty cool and if I've posted a lot then I tend to check it a lot. But I hadn't posted in over a month and I hadn't checked my "stats" in over a month. I even have a list going of all the different countries that read my blog. Normally views are way down if I haven't written lately. But today. Today was different. I got on and saw that yesterday, when I was doubting my writing ability, I had 27 page views. Today, I'd had ten already. Last month, when I posted only one or two times, there were over 100 pages views. That may not seem like a lot to some people. But to me it means there are people actually reading this. People who keep coming back to read. When I got on today, three new countries had viewed my blog. I have readers in Iran, Slovenia, Croatia, Australia, the United Arab Emirates, China, Japan, and more. And God blew me away.
It was his gentle voice I heard saying, "Look, people are reading. You have a gift. I have given you that gift. Use it. Hone it. Pursue it. Teach others to use their gifts. Don't believe the lie for a minute that you can't write. I have given you the ability to write. I have given you the ability to create. You are made in my image and I love you. Work hard. Don't give up."
And I needed to hear that whisper.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Power and Love
I was reading in Acts today and was just struck by how powerful God is and how much he cares for individual people. I think sometimes we just gloss over how powerful he is and we know that he loves the world, but sometimes I think we forget he loves individuals.
His power is enough to take Paul (who was at the time Saul) and change him from a zealous persecuting machine, to a zealous Jesus preaching missionary. His power is enough to raise the woman Tabitha back to life. His power is enough to put Phillip in the exact right place at the right time. His power is awesome.
And his love. Did you notice that in each of those instances it was an individual that God chose to invade? It was one person God chose to speak to on the road to Damascus. It was one person God chose to raise back to life in that instance. It was one person that needed to hear about what Jesus had done and how he had fulfilled prophecy.
His power. His love. There is nothing else like it. It's personal. God loves you. He longs to meet you right where you are. If you're dead, he longs to give you back life. If you are intensely working against him, he longs to turn that passion into working for him. If you have questions, he longs to answer them. God is totally in the miracle working business. And he longs to work those miracles in your life.
His power is enough to take Paul (who was at the time Saul) and change him from a zealous persecuting machine, to a zealous Jesus preaching missionary. His power is enough to raise the woman Tabitha back to life. His power is enough to put Phillip in the exact right place at the right time. His power is awesome.
And his love. Did you notice that in each of those instances it was an individual that God chose to invade? It was one person God chose to speak to on the road to Damascus. It was one person God chose to raise back to life in that instance. It was one person that needed to hear about what Jesus had done and how he had fulfilled prophecy.
His power. His love. There is nothing else like it. It's personal. God loves you. He longs to meet you right where you are. If you're dead, he longs to give you back life. If you are intensely working against him, he longs to turn that passion into working for him. If you have questions, he longs to answer them. God is totally in the miracle working business. And he longs to work those miracles in your life.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Alone and Still
Alone time. As an introvert I not only crave it at times, I need it to survive. I love being with people. But I love spending time alone. I think we all need it. Even if you aren't an introvert. I just happen to be more in tune to the fact that I need it because I am. But time alone is good. Time to reflect. Time to process. Time to be quiet before God.
It can be really hard to be still in this world. It's really easy to get caught up in our life and everything that needs to be done or that we want to do. But our relationship with God is a two way street. We need to listen and be still and stand in awe of him just as much as we need to talk to him. Think about it. When was the last time you were just enthralled by his beauty? When was the last time you were breathless because of his power? When was the last time you were still?
As much as I like my alone time, I don't always use it well. I get caught up in doing things. Or I waste the time by doing unimportant things. When what I really need to do is just be still and worship. When I really just need is to be still and know.
It can be really hard to be still in this world. It's really easy to get caught up in our life and everything that needs to be done or that we want to do. But our relationship with God is a two way street. We need to listen and be still and stand in awe of him just as much as we need to talk to him. Think about it. When was the last time you were just enthralled by his beauty? When was the last time you were breathless because of his power? When was the last time you were still?
As much as I like my alone time, I don't always use it well. I get caught up in doing things. Or I waste the time by doing unimportant things. When what I really need to do is just be still and worship. When I really just need is to be still and know.
Psalm 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God!"
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Promises
I've had a pretty sweet weekend. My grandparents came to visit and we went to Shipshewana. It was pretty fun even with all the rain. Also happening this weekend, I'm officially dating someone pretty special. And then today I helped my cousin make cupcakes. It's always an interesting day to help him bake, but it's oh so much fun and I wouldn't trade it for anything.
One of the things I loved about Shipshewana was all the Bible verses that were around. There were all these plaques and decorative wall hangings with sayings (my grandparents' favorite was the multitude of ones that said "Always kiss me goodnight") and many with Bible verses. Perhaps one of my favorites that kept showing up was from Isaiah 43:1.
"Do not be afraid for I have RANSOMED you. I have called you by name; you are mine."
I love it.
He knows my name. He paid for me. He says my name. And I am his. There is such power in that. And so tonight, I read the rest of the chapter. And let me tell you, I have this chapter underlined pretty well, but it never gets old. The promises in this chapter are amazing. Go read it. You won't be sorry. I sure wasn't.
I needed that reminder. I needed the reminder of how deep God's love is for me. Of how he ransomed me. Of how precious he thinks I am. Of how he honors me. Of how I've been chosen. And of how he proclaims all of this to the world.
He doesn't keep his love for us quiet. He proclaims it. With every sunrise, every sunset, every rainbow, every budding flower, every scrap of color shouts his love for us.
I feel like there is just so much in this chapter and not enough room to type it all. So read it. Tell me your favorite part or parts. Share what God is teaching you through this passage.
And maybe I'll get back to it another night, but I want you to hear God's voice as you read this passage. Not mine. What is God teaching you tonight?
P.S. The cupcakes aren't quite finished and my camera battery is almost dead... so you'll just have to use your imagination... but they look good so far!
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
The Road Through Ephesus... A Call To Holiness Ephesians 2:22
It's very warm and humid down here today. Which isn't bad until I want to sleep and then I'll be miserable. I don't like it cold and I don't like it sticky and hot. I would like a happy medium please. Well, I decided since I've been putting off writing about the last verse of Ephesians 2 that I should remedy that situation and get back to it. I have just had a hard time coming up with what to write about this verse. Part of me feels that I keep saying a lot of the same things over and over again, but I'm ready to possibly say the same thing again and jump back in.
Here we go:
Ephesians 2:22
"Through him you Gentiles are also being made part of this dwelling where God lives by his Spirit."
I don't know about you, but I think that's pretty exciting. We who were once outcasts, who had no hope of a relationship with God, have become a part of the family of God and he lives in us by his Spirit. How cool is that??? We were so far separated from him, but God made a way to get back to him and now he lives in us.
He chose us. We've discussed that. But he didn't just choose us. He lives in us. He has made us his dwelling place. The one who created the universe chose to live in us. That's pretty amazing.
1 Corinthians 3:17 "For God's temple is holy, and you are that temple."
2 Corinthians 6:16 "For we are the temple of the living God."
I love that first one. Because in it, we aren't only called to be holy, it says we are holy. Because the God who loves you enough to die for you lives in you and gives you his holiness. His holiness covers you. It covers me. It's incredible.
Because if I think about it, there are many times when I don't feel holy. There are many times when I don't choose the holy thing to do. But God still calls me holy, because when he looks at me, he sees his holiness covering me. Because he lives in me.
But even though his holiness covers me, that doesn't mean I can do whatever I want. Because his holiness covers me, it pushes me to choose the right thing. It pushes me to honor him. It pushes me to love and obey him.
It's not always easy. Okay, really, it's never easy. But it's right. His holiness calls us to a higher living.
So this week, I want to strive for that. I want to strive to live holy. Not because I have to, but because his holiness, his love, his Spirit living in me calls me to live a holy life.
Will you join me? Will you let him call you to a holy life?
Monday, May 9, 2011
Knowing my heart
Coughing sucks. I was told today that I sounded like an asthmatic. And I do, it's kinda sad. Allergies are upon us and even though my new allergy meds are working, I can't take too deep of a breath or I go into a coughing fit. Or I just go into a coughing fit for no apparent reason. It makes me tired.
But these last few days have been good as well. I've had some fun phone conversations and even had some time to just rest which I desperately needed. It was good. There's a reason God tells us to take a sabbath. Our bodies can't handle going without stopping. And my body needed to rest to handle the upcoming week. Especially if I'm going to be coughing like this for any length of time.
I got to spend some time with a friend tonight. And we just talked and relaxed and got to know what was happening in each other's lives. It was good.
It's those times, those relaxing, rejuvenating, kairos times, that allow us to continue living without going insane. And it's in those times that we can be quiet before God and listen to him. We can get to know his heart. And it's a time when he can reveal our hearts too us. Because all too often, I don't know my own heart. And until I spend some time with my Jesus, I won't know. He knows my heart so well. Way better than I could ever hope to know. And I love that.
(And I couldn't pick just a few verses from this chapter... so I put the whole one :-)
and know everything about me.
2 You know when I sit down or stand up.
You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
3 You see me when I travel
and when I rest at home.
You know everything I do.
4 You know what I am going to say
even before I say it, Lord.
5 You go before me and follow me.
You place your hand of blessing on my head.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too great for me to understand!
But these last few days have been good as well. I've had some fun phone conversations and even had some time to just rest which I desperately needed. It was good. There's a reason God tells us to take a sabbath. Our bodies can't handle going without stopping. And my body needed to rest to handle the upcoming week. Especially if I'm going to be coughing like this for any length of time.
I got to spend some time with a friend tonight. And we just talked and relaxed and got to know what was happening in each other's lives. It was good.
It's those times, those relaxing, rejuvenating, kairos times, that allow us to continue living without going insane. And it's in those times that we can be quiet before God and listen to him. We can get to know his heart. And it's a time when he can reveal our hearts too us. Because all too often, I don't know my own heart. And until I spend some time with my Jesus, I won't know. He knows my heart so well. Way better than I could ever hope to know. And I love that.
(And I couldn't pick just a few verses from this chapter... so I put the whole one :-)
Psalm 139
For the choir director: A psalm of David.
1 O Lord, you have examined my heartand know everything about me.
2 You know when I sit down or stand up.
You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
3 You see me when I travel
and when I rest at home.
You know everything I do.
4 You know what I am going to say
even before I say it, Lord.
5 You go before me and follow me.
You place your hand of blessing on my head.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too great for me to understand!
7 I can never escape from your Spirit!
I can never get away from your presence!
8 If I go up to heaven, you are there;
if I go down to the grave, you are there.
9 If I ride the wings of the morning,
if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
and your strength will support me.
11 I could ask the darkness to hide me
and the light around me to become night—
12 but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.
To you the night shines as bright as day.
Darkness and light are the same to you.
I can never get away from your presence!
8 If I go up to heaven, you are there;
if I go down to the grave, you are there.
9 If I ride the wings of the morning,
if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
and your strength will support me.
11 I could ask the darkness to hide me
and the light around me to become night—
12 but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.
To you the night shines as bright as day.
Darkness and light are the same to you.
13 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
15 You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
16 You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
15 You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
16 You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.
17 How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.
They cannot be numbered!
18 I can’t even count them;
they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up,
you are still with me!
They cannot be numbered!
18 I can’t even count them;
they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up,
you are still with me!
19 O God, if only you would destroy the wicked!
Get out of my life, you murderers!
20 They blaspheme you;
your enemies misuse your name.
21 O Lord, shouldn’t I hate those who hate you?
Shouldn’t I despise those who oppose you?
22 Yes, I hate them with total hatred,
for your enemies are my enemies.
Get out of my life, you murderers!
20 They blaspheme you;
your enemies misuse your name.
21 O Lord, shouldn’t I hate those who hate you?
Shouldn’t I despise those who oppose you?
22 Yes, I hate them with total hatred,
for your enemies are my enemies.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 Point out anything in me that offends you,
and lead me along the path of everlasting life.
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 Point out anything in me that offends you,
and lead me along the path of everlasting life.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Pleasing People
Today was an absolutely gorgeous day. I love being able to have windows open and being able to be outside without a coat. It makes me happy. Even if it does mean that my allergy meds have to work overtime. And it was a wonderful day to celebrate and honor moms, even if I spent my day far away from mine.
Church this morning was wonderful. Something that caught my attention during the sermon was when he started talking about how we can't worry too much about what other people think about us. *Sigh* Apparently I needed to hear this yet again. I really struggle with this. I don't like conflict or people being upset or angry. I like to make people happy. And I get called a pushover which at times I am. But it's a problem. Because way too often I care more about what other people think of me instead of thinking and caring about what God thinks about me.
If I'm not careful, I can spend my life trying to please everyone around me, when instead I need to do what God has called me to do without excuse. I need to focus on him and put on blinders for the rest of the world. There is nothing wrong with enjoying putting a smile on another person's face, the problem is when I avoid the conflict that needs to happen or stray from doing what I know is right because of what people may think.
It's something I'm constantly working on and one of my favorite verses about this is Galatians 1:10:
"Obviously, I'm not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ's servant."
My goal can't be to please people. That cannot be what I am striving for. I can't always make everyone around me happy. But I can do what I know is right no matter what I think people may think about me. I can strive to honor and bring glory to God through all my actions and words.
So I'm fighting the people pleaser within me. It rears its head at the most inopportune times. But with the power of Christ in me, it will be overcome. Because sin has been defeated and my savior won.
Church this morning was wonderful. Something that caught my attention during the sermon was when he started talking about how we can't worry too much about what other people think about us. *Sigh* Apparently I needed to hear this yet again. I really struggle with this. I don't like conflict or people being upset or angry. I like to make people happy. And I get called a pushover which at times I am. But it's a problem. Because way too often I care more about what other people think of me instead of thinking and caring about what God thinks about me.
If I'm not careful, I can spend my life trying to please everyone around me, when instead I need to do what God has called me to do without excuse. I need to focus on him and put on blinders for the rest of the world. There is nothing wrong with enjoying putting a smile on another person's face, the problem is when I avoid the conflict that needs to happen or stray from doing what I know is right because of what people may think.
It's something I'm constantly working on and one of my favorite verses about this is Galatians 1:10:
"Obviously, I'm not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ's servant."
My goal can't be to please people. That cannot be what I am striving for. I can't always make everyone around me happy. But I can do what I know is right no matter what I think people may think about me. I can strive to honor and bring glory to God through all my actions and words.
So I'm fighting the people pleaser within me. It rears its head at the most inopportune times. But with the power of Christ in me, it will be overcome. Because sin has been defeated and my savior won.
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