Anyway, as I was sitting here thinking about all of that a verse popped into my head (yeah, God's been doing that a lot lately. It's pretty cool).
"My power works best in weakness."
2 Corinthians 12:9b
That's God talking and that's his promise. Which is pretty spectacular, I must say. And after I read that suddenly I knew. When I'm weak, when I know I have struggled with this music, when I cannot hear the harmony for the life of me, God's strong. Here's what I know: without God, this would never work. I would stand up there and flounder around searching for my part. But when God's involved, he can take my weaknesses and turn them into his strengths where he gets all the glory. I learned a long time ago that my heart is what matters most when I lead worship. If my heart is right with God, and I am truly worshiping him, then God will work it out. It's his chance to shine, not mine. The focus is on him, not on me and what I can do. But on what his strength and power can do in the areas where I am weak.
And that's really comforting.
I'm still planning and practicing and (hopefully) meeting up with someone who's better at harmony than I am to learn. Letting God's strength take over doesn't mean not preparing. It means that even when I have done all I can do, it's really God who will step in and make it happen. His power works best when I've done all I can and there is nothing left. That's when God's strength makes all the difference. And that's why he gets all the glory.